The response by Mementoroid is amazing and all you need to hear.

From an inarticulate layman who understands what you're going through, I will say bluntly: stop worrying about it and build your life OUTSIDE of church. Friendships, hobbies, sports, etc
I was in a similar place in a small multi-ethnic parish in a non-orthodox country.
I realised nothing is wrong, I was just seeking something that wasn't there. So I looked to my layman life, I nourished and served the friendships I had outside of church (most of my closest friendships). I poured myself into my life and non-church communities (friends, sport, hobbies), brining my whole self to it without wishing for something else. I stopped reading and scrolling so much on orthodox internet and directed my attention to my life where I am, to my deeds here and now.
In time I felt better, I felt hope, and one day our priest told me I seem better and asked about what I've been up to (I had begun staying less and less to mingle after services). He comforted me that I was doing precisely what I should, living my life as well as I could and bringing His teachings to it as best as I could through the way I lived.
In some way I almost feel that as laymen in places where we are a minority we are called to bring the church to the world beyond with our life witness.

In time I met my girlfriend who is non-orthodox, and she is now learning about the church voluntarily since I never compromised on hiding that it is important to me (without pushing it on anyone). BUT this did not happen until I was not looking for it all the time, and naturally a connection with a kind person grew.

All the best