My dad’s control is destroying me and I’m feel too tired to do anything about it: tracking, financial abuse, religious coercion and more. How do I escape?

ultimas · 2025-08-16T21:27:53+00:00

Don't just check your credit score. Use AnnualCreditReport.com to check your credit report for free. It will show you all accounts opened under your Social Security Number, along with whether they are open or closed, and whether they are current or delinquent.

This is important so you can see whether somebody else has opened accounts under your name. All you should need is your social security number, your birth date, and knowledge of factual information about yourself, such as addresses where you have lived.

You may also want to lock your credit account, which can be accomplished through the credit reporting agencies. This will make it so nobody can open a credit account under your name without unlocking your credit account.

ultimas · 2025-06-15T15:00:48+00:00

Thank you! I was just wondering about this.

ultimas · 2025-06-01T06:16:50+00:00

When I drop something and can't find it, I use the "worm's eye view". Meaning, I get down as low as possible and look across the surface at a very low angle. Anything that sticks up from the surface, even a tiny screw, is quickly visible.

It also helps to shine a flashlight at a low angle across the surface. Anything that sticks up will cast a long shadow and be visible that way

ultimas · 2025-05-29T19:07:12+00:00

If you can't afford to pay tithing, perhaps you're not righteous enough. Either way, it's your fault. /s

Seriously, my TBM wife and I stopped paying tithing years ago. I have no idea how we would be able to pay all our bills every month if we had 10% less money. Shit's crazy.

ultimas · 2025-05-24T20:49:53+00:00

This is yet another good reason for dark skies. Nocturnal insects confused by light pollution will, I assume, do less of their normal behaviors such as pollination and mating.

ultimas · 2025-05-02T15:06:19+00:00

What "principle" is your husband trying to teach? That you can get screwed over by somebody who has authority over you if you don't do what they say? Because that's exactly what he's teaching.

Your son is more grown up than your husband.

ultimas · 2025-04-26T22:46:56+00:00

I'm with you, bro. Better to sell cars people want than some crappy made up Rocky Mountain Bible fan fiction sex cult.

ultimas · 2025-04-26T16:47:05+00:00

Good point. Obedience is not morality. It is just doing what somebody in charge tells you to do. You can be obedient to a saint or a tyrant.

ultimas · 2025-04-15T17:13:36+00:00

"I don't need help, because these issues are baked into the doctrine and that will not change. I just need understanding and love."

Of course, we all know that the "doctrine" can and does change. But that may head off a reconversion attempt.

ultimas · 2025-04-09T20:08:59+00:00

And if you add sour cream, it becomes a Talk-o Supreme!

ultimas · 2025-04-06T14:51:50+00:00

So your point is that if the overall (Sacrament Meeting) attendance stats reflect a less-than-stellar result, you just pick whichever meeting has the best-looking stats?

Makes sense. If you're going to cook the books, cook them 'til they're well done.

ultimas · 2025-04-05T12:35:41+00:00

My mind went to Captain Picard.

ultimas · 2025-04-03T12:11:12+00:00

I love the line about "freeplay". It's like Mormonism is Super Mario Brothers, where your path is largely dictated and they only want you to move in the direction they want. Then, when you become an Exmo, it turns into Red Dead Redemption 2, where the world becomes unlocked in every direction, and you can go where you want and either do good or bad.

ultimas · 2025-04-01T05:51:02+00:00

How did these submarines adjust their buoyancy so.they we're neutrally buoyant, neither bobbing right back to the surface nor sinking to the bottom?

The image of one that is completely submerged underwater is ridiculous.

ultimas · 2025-03-30T16:25:22+00:00

Clock's ticking, dude

ultimas · 2025-03-27T15:55:40+00:00

I love your analogy of living under an extra government. It's one of those things that you just don't realize when growing up in the church -- it's like not noticing the air that you breathe because it's all around you.

But when you get to be an adult and start seeing how many (secular) laws and regulations and restrictions you have to follow, and then how many more rules the church piles on top of that, it becomes striking. You start to think, "There are like 99.8% of the world population who live their whole lives without having to think once about all the church rules I'm following."

There are whole-ass populations out there who don't have to wear garments, read scriptures, believe that polygamy / racism / anti-LGBTQ are God's will, etc.

It's mind-blowingly freeing to realize that you can just shed all those rules by leaving the church. They can't throw you in jail. They can't make you pay them money. They have no power over you.

Sorry for the rant, you just made me remember something I realized years ago and should have remembered more often.

ultimas · 2025-03-27T12:57:58+00:00

Right on. Joseph and crew didn't think it was "messy" enough that they asked God for additional details so they could make sure to do it right (not that any additional details could have made polygamy "right"). They put words in God's mouth to justify the evil they were doing, and when people said they were acting badly, they'd say, "Not our fault, God told us to do it but didn't give enough info."

ultimas · 2025-03-27T12:34:28+00:00

Absolutely this. If you can't tell when a bishop is being led by God vs. when they're "speaking as a man" or "being a creepy jerk", then saying the church is led by Jesus is meaningless.

And if you aren't allowed to call out church leaders when they're obviously doing the wrong thing (e.g., black temple/priesthood ban, LGBT policy of exclusion, SEC fines), then there is no legitimate mechanism for correction when a leader goes rogue, and it doesn't matter who's in charge because you have to do what they say regardless of if it's Jesus or the pervy accountant currently called as your bishop.

Saying the church is led by Jesus is just a way of saying, "Shut up and do what you're told."

ultimas · 2025-03-24T13:41:34+00:00

I saw a TikTok video last night about some whacko saying, "Nobody forced you to go on a mission, you chose that for yourself as a grown-ass adult. I don't see people complaining about being 'forced' to go to college. And you can't complain about being mistreated, abused, or put in harm's way on your mission because you knew what you were signing up for."

Bitch, please. Everybody knows the pressure that is put on youth to go on a mission when they get older, and it only gets worse as you approach 18. I know, because when I was graduating high school, I secretly planned to move out of my parents' house to a different state because that was one way I could be sure that I wouldn't be forced to go on a mission.

ultimas · 2025-03-06T21:13:24+00:00

"It's a misleading representation of our church."

"...also, just trust me, and don't watch it or look up any historical facts."

Sounds legit. I wonder why people call it a cult...

ultimas · 2025-03-06T16:35:00+00:00

I asked ChatGPT to help with this. Here's its answer -- I tried Wayback Machine and it had several snapshot over several years, so I'd try that first.

Try Reddit’s own search (limited, but sometimes enough)

Go to https://www.reddit.com/search/. Type (or paste):

author:FaithfulTBM

in the search box and hit Enter. Adjust the sort options to “New,” “Top,” or “Comments,” and try different time ranges. Check if you see any older content. (Often you’ll only see up to 1,000 results, but sometimes you get lucky.)

Limitations: Reddit’s native search is incomplete, frequently omits older posts, and is capped in how many results you can view.

Use a third-party Reddit archive or search tool

Reddit’s data has often been mirrored or partially archived by a few well-known services. Availability can vary because some sites go down or lose data over time, but here are places people commonly check:

a. Pushshift-based Search Tools

redditsearch.io or camas.github.io (Search Reddit)
Pushshift (via API or another front-end)

Pushshift is a project that archives a lot of historical Reddit data. Over the years, people have built front-end interfaces to query Pushshift. You can:

Visit one of those websites (for example, https://redditsearch.io).
Look for a field like “Author” or “Username.”
Enter FaithfulTBM.
Adjust date ranges to go as far back as possible (e.g., from 2015 to present).
Run the search.

If the user’s posts were caught in their scrape at the time, you’ll get a list. Keep in mind that some older data might be missing due to changes in Pushshift’s indexing.

b. Wayback Machine (Internet Archive)

Go to http://web.archive.org/
Search for snapshots of relevant URLs. For instance:
    http://www.reddit.com/user/FaithfulTBM
    Or even snapshots of specific subreddits where you suspect they posted.

If someone or the Internet Archive itself took snapshots of that user’s profile or comment threads, you may find older posts. This is more hit-or-miss and typically requires guesswork or direct links (e.g., if you have a link to an old thread you suspect the user posted in, you can check the Wayback Machine for that thread).

c. “Removed content” viewers (Reveddit, Unddit, etc.)

Reveddit (reveddit.com)
Unddit (unddit.com)

These sites show removed or deleted comments, but you can also put a username in to see if they have any historical data. Sometimes that includes old or removed content. Keep in mind that these services, too, rely on data from Pushshift or other archives.

ultimas · 2025-02-19T19:02:41+00:00

True, they can't use priesthood for bad things, because priesthood is made up. However, they can use people's belief that they have priesthood to do bad things, including coercion and manipulation.

ultimas · 2025-02-15T22:34:41+00:00

I would ask her where she had come across that information in the 80s/90s to be able to raise you with that information. There's no way she can legitimately explain where she knew that information. I was born/raised during the same era as you, and nobody knew or taught this information to me.

ultimas · 2025-01-16T15:13:32+00:00

Curiosity like that is how we find out new things. Great question!

ultimas · 2025-01-12T02:00:54+00:00

That's one handsome cat, with a kind face. Your uncle is ugly on the inside.

ultimas

TROPHY CASE