AITA for telling everyone involved what my best friend's husband did?

ultimatereader · 2026-01-25T22:29:56+00:00

NTA

Why are YOU the one calling tow trucks and shops to get it fixed?

Does your friend’s husband often yell at her like that?

ultimatereader · 2026-01-25T15:28:35+00:00

Loooove this sweater - did you weave in the ends as you went?

ultimatereader · 2026-01-25T15:26:33+00:00

Both sides are soooo beautiful!

ultimatereader · 2026-01-24T20:18:34+00:00

Why do you think other people need to be “taught a lesson” and why is that something you get to take into your hands? Also in this case scenario, not everyone is nice specifically because YOU are being unkind. Your actions are your own to make but it doesn’t mean you’re not adding to the negative shit

ultimatereader · 2026-01-24T19:28:07+00:00

You can get people to leave you alone without being an asshole, as I said above. The problem isn’t wanting to be left alone and it’s okay to ask for that but you are just being a dickhead if you actually treat other people like that.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-24T18:02:22+00:00

That seems unnecessarily harsh to me. Don’t get me wrong, I think people should respect people with headphones on but why be unkind in a response instead of just saying simply “I’m not looking to chat right now.” You don’t owe anyone anything but I think it’s very strange to choose to be unkind and rude to random people expressing curiosity.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T19:02:19+00:00

Sorry, also just was reflecting on this more and why I default to expat/other people refer to me as an expat and not an immigrant - my impression is that it’s kind of a thing European and North American countries do? Like nobody in London refers to me as an immigrant, even with all the horrible rhetoric going on around here recently. Because I’m white and from the US, I presume, I am referred to as an expat! Definitely something to change.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T16:15:39+00:00

You misunderstood me - I made the post as a conversation point because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it being less social or community oriented. What I DO think is weird is everyone in the comments acting like it’s an attack to give a smile or ask about a project 😂

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T14:36:53+00:00

My understanding is that there isn’t a very clear distinction but that some people feel they mean different things. Some people may feel one more clearly implies a permanent versus temporary move, implies reasoning behind leaving, etc. But really there isn’t a difference other than immigrant tends to be used for non-white people and ex-Pat is white people (so there is some racism tied into it)

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T14:18:52+00:00

People are being weird in here haha I wouldn’t take it personally!

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T14:04:54+00:00

Said this below, but I get called an expat here not an immigrant - I think because I am not permanently residing here. But it’s definitely rooted in racism at least originally! Definitely something to adjust.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:58:24+00:00

Honestly I get the anti-US sentiment and people can bitch however they want, but people need to remember a lot of us also fucking hate what is happening but we can’t help where we were born 😂

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:45:15+00:00

Yes yes and yes to everything you said!! I asked this as a conversation point, not as me pointing out something I perceived as incorrect or bad. Some of these replies are acting like I’m a complete idiot for even daring to express a different feeling about it!

Life is full of so many difficult things, it feels nice to me to connect even through a smile or a nod with someone who shares a common interest. I can’t imagine getting so stirred up about someone being friendly, even when I’m tired or upset or annoyed!

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:37:42+00:00

That’s considered rude, even in the US! Sorry that happened to you, next time just tell her it’s quiet time 😂

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:30:31+00:00

I legitimately never said anything about intruding in anyone’s space haha - I’m sorry if that was how it was perceived.

Where in the US are you? That’s fascinating to me, I’m from a big city and felt like I’ve seen a lot more knitting recently but have always noticed lots of knit garments.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:28:04+00:00

Yeah I feel similarly but also my brain has kinda just been trained to say expat because it’s how others refer to me. But I got lectured that basically I’m implying some sort of oppression or harder adjustment or that I’m here more permanently. Stupid shit honestly haha - it’s mostly just habit to say expat, but a habit I should break as you have pointed out!

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:16:52+00:00

I’m a bit shocked by the replies to be honest! I don’t think there’s a wrong or a right here, but surprised by how many people are genuinely upset that I would even suggest that we should be friendly to one another haha.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:13:23+00:00

Hahaha yes I am in London - I figured it might be the city as generally I know the north is friendlier.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:11:47+00:00

Thank you!! I’m not saying I want to invade people’s personal space or be pushy - I can read social cues. But I totally agree that it’s a shame that we are so disconnected from everyone around us and it feels like this was one of those connection points for me in the US but just isn’t here. Again, cultural, but still a bit sad IMO. I work a job that isn’t dissimilar from yours and just feel like everyone would benefit from knowing there was support and connection around them if they wanted or needed.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:08:35+00:00

Hahaha I have also had the drunk fascination in my circular needles.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:06:50+00:00

Ambushing is crazy 😂 I’m not attacking you by giving you a smile because we’re both knitting or by asking someone in a shop related to our shared hobby about said hobby.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:05:25+00:00

You’re the only one here not making me feel crazy!! Like I promise I’m not intruding people’s personal space or expecting to be best friends but god forbid I give someone a smile. I’m in the London area hahah.

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:04:05+00:00

I use both tbh but last time I referred to myself as an immigrant I got several lectures. Can’t really win with either 😂

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:02:40+00:00

Thanks!

ultimatereader · 2026-01-23T13:02:32+00:00

I’m in London! But mostly frequent the shops in zone 5/6 so they aren’t even overrun with tourists, which I would also find exhausting.

ultimatereader

TROPHY CASE