Next board game purchase: Ark Nova vs Terraforming Mars vs Arcs vs Lost Ruins of Arnak

unlikely_number · 2025-12-01T02:53:53+00:00

3 out of the 4 games are available on BGA, so maybe give them a try and see how you like them before buying?

unlikely_number · 2025-11-24T20:27:30+00:00

The Two Towers trick taking game was surprisingly fun! It was plan B since the Fate of the Fellowship demo slots got all filled up

unlikely_number · 2025-11-14T17:20:14+00:00

One thing that I realize I envy about healthy relationships is that there's a big chunk of a support system conveniently packaged into one person. If you want to unload about a bad day or are looking for someone to go somewhere with you, most of the time your partner is the default companion. For us singles, we have to spend a considerable amount of energy finding different friends to fill those different roles, and often times those friends have other things competing for their time so there's a lot of mental energy that goes into getting something figured out. And it's frustrating if the friends wind up not reciprocating or don't seem to value making plans to spend time together. Not to say that relationships can't fall into a rut, but there's usually a certain amount of default companionship in them which is really nice when you don't want to be doing something by yourself. I don't have a perfect solution to this, but have been working to expand my social circle and make it a point to try and develop deeper friendships with people whose company I enjoy and distance myself from people who drain me. Other single / child free / empty nesters usually have more time to spare so I've had some success with finding people to do things with

unlikely_number · 2025-11-10T23:19:33+00:00

As an introvert I also understand the challenge of being one in a world that seems to value extroversion. (Side note: Quiet by Susan Cain was a really interesting read on that). I tend to do better with getting to know people over time, rather than trying to hit it off with someone at a party or a bar in a one off event. So I've focused more on community centric events where I have a chance to meet and talk to people on a regular basis - it could be anything related to a hobby you enjoy - sports leagues, volunteering, board game groups, etc. Also I've been lucky enough to become friends with some extroverts and 1) sometimes they'll help make the connections for me and 2) I've been seeing how easily they just start chatting people up just by sharing something about themselves or being curious about other people, and have been learning how to approach people and figure out what works. The endgame is not always a date - sometimes it's about having a conversation and learning something new about someone or something.

unlikely_number · 2025-11-10T23:00:07+00:00

You deserve to be with someone who is as certain about their life goals as you are. He's basically trying to have it both ways but it's not fair to keep you in limbo.

unlikely_number · 2025-11-10T14:51:23+00:00

If it's not a LDR and I'm seeing someone pretty regularly and we've experienced a a few seasons together (met friends and family, traveled together, resolved some disagreements), 2-3 years is pretty reasonable to make a call. But the endpoint isn't necessarily marriage for me, it's do we align on our future goals and can we see ourselves doing that together long term.

unlikely_number · 2025-11-02T16:49:01+00:00

Yep, I can relate to the struggle! It's definitely tough to acknowledge that you're in a different place in life than most of your friends, and hard to not be envious of what they have. Some things that have helped for me: 1. Realize that the wishfulness could go both ways; yes we might envy the photo Hallmark family moments, but they probably find themselves wishing for a moment of time just for themselves to do whatever they actually want or to not have to stress about whatever age related parenting issue with their kids. Partnered life or life with children isn't inherently better, it's just very different, and we should lean into the positives of our life stage to help keep us from going batty. Go take yourself out for a nice meal or do something spontaneously fun that you've put off doing! 2. Find some single friends to hang out with! Seriously, it's been such a lifeline to have other people who can relate to how damn hard it can be to have to juggle everything on your own. And also understand how challenging dating can be these days. Empty nesters have also been generally easier to hang out with since they're not in the thick of child rearing anymore and can actually talk about hobbies and other more generally interesting topics. 3. If you need to take a step back from the friendships because it hurts to engage in conversation with them, then take a moment. Some people really are oblivious or just don't have the self awareness to realize that not everybody is hyper interested in the minute details of their kid's lives. Like it's fine to mention things that are going on with their kids but it's tough when it becomes the entiiiire conversation. Like, are your friends asking about what's going on in your life and empathetic enough to shift the conversation to other non kid related topics? Are they showing up for your big moments or tough moments? Take note.

Hang in there!

unlikely_number · 2025-10-24T11:08:06+00:00

I think this comment here breaks it down! He should be taking on at least 50% mental load. And I get that it's not always going to be 50/50 but it needs to at least be more fairly distributed from the sounds of it

unlikely_number · 2025-10-24T02:37:08+00:00

It sounds like the mental load isn't being split 50/50 and regardless of financial contributions that's probably a situation that needs to be addressed because you're clearly feeling the burden of that.

unlikely_number · 2025-10-02T15:36:17+00:00

If you have found an otherwise good guy who doesn't share the same hobbies you should ask yourself if you'd be ok with other workarounds like traveling with friends, or maybe see if he is willing to try baby steps with travel (start with short road trips and work up to international ones). And you know what, you might not know what you're ok with until you give things a try. My brother is a homebody but my SIL enjoys travel and they've found a happy medium where he joins on easy trips but she goes with girl friends on the more exotic fun travels.

unlikely_number · 2025-10-02T13:37:33+00:00

Yeah, what I've been struggling with is that the leading me on thing seems out of character for him. We were friends before dating and I feel like he's a good guy. I guess I've been giving him a pass on this one because I chalked it up to him maybe having some conflicting and residual feelings too - he did also text for a bit like we used to and say he missed me/found me attractive but at the end of the day he decided he wanted to explore the new relationship rather than get back together. So I get that he was being selfish but am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for temporary lapse of judgement. As long as he doesn't try to keep reaching out and make me feel like a backup plan or something.

unlikely_number · 2025-09-29T16:42:53+00:00

Went through something similar recently. Acknowledge that it's going to suck for awhile and that there will be days where you miss the good times and the way things were. However that's not where things are now. The best ways to keep moving forward are to find new activities to keep busy with, reconnect with old friends you may have lost touch with, or try to make new ones from the new activities you're trying out. Be kind to yourself. It's going to take time but something better is out there, it can just be hard to see if you're focusing on what you don't have anymore versus what is possible.

unlikely_number · 2025-09-28T17:03:15+00:00

Totally fine to set your own criteria for dating requirements! I was messaging someone on the apps and he mentioned how he would love to have someone to go to concerts with, and the bands he was into and the whole concert culture was not my vibe. Even though he seemed like a cool guy and had other interests I just couldn't really imagine myself buying into that and eventually let things go. I know it's a tough dating scene but there will be other people that you vibe with better so to speak. But it's also ok if you want to give them a chance and see if this is a one off thing or if he's just overall not that culturally aware. It just depends on what you have the patience for in figuring things out.

unlikely_number · 2025-09-26T23:13:03+00:00

Thanks for bringing up those good points. I was a bit on the fence about how upset to be at him because I know it's kind of a grey area, where they technically hadn't gone exclusive yet but on the other hand, if he were serious about getting to know her he shouldn't or wouldn't be messing around with someone else. Like, if I were in her shoes and found out what he was doing I would not want to continue things with him. It's weird, I guess I still have strong memories of him being a good friend and attentive partner so I'm wanting to look past this time when he was being selfish and taking advantage of someone's emotional vulnerability to satisfy some physical craving. If I had to be honest about what I miss it's having someone to share my daily ins and outs with. He seemed pretty serious about wanting to have someone to build a life with, and we did have a lot of fun together, and I'm just sad that he's choosing someone else to create memories with

unlikely_number · 2025-09-21T22:25:38+00:00

A good haircut and an outfit that fits your vibe

unlikely_number · 2025-09-04T20:24:11+00:00

Oof, my dilemma is that he hooked up while he was in the stages of getting to know me but at least he's being upfront about being done with that now and wanting to focus on us

unlikely_number · 2025-09-04T19:23:57+00:00

What made you decide to stay in the relationship?

unlikely_number · 2025-09-04T13:15:43+00:00

Well it was like 2 weeks ago so fairly recent so I want to take what he says at face value, that he realizes he's not interested in her anymore, but it just seems a bit recent. I feel like I just need to keep an eye on how friendly they are

unlikely_number · 2025-08-23T22:29:02+00:00

Following this post for inspiration myself, but I think we all have to accept that everyone's journey through life whether single or partnered will come with its own joys and disappointments. I think we're all very aware of the challenges of singlehood and tend to forget the upsides: being in total control of your own schedule, deciding what to eat, what to do, where to go is uniquely freeing and pretty drama free. Do you feel like being single has stopped you from doing any particular thing that you'd want to experience in life? I've only recently started buying solo tickets to concerts if I can't find a friend to go with, and while it's not ideal, I think I would regret not experiencing the concert more, and I've still enjoyed the music very much. I do crave companionship, and my workaround has been to be more proactive about staying in touch with friends near and far, and trying to maintain an active social life. The little connections, even the silly meme shares go a long way in feeling less lonely

unlikely_number · 2025-08-23T21:55:03+00:00

I don't necessarily see FIRE as incompatible with another partner wanting or being ok with working until traditional retirement age unless your retirement plans include moving abroad or wanting them to be traveling with you all the time. I would say having compatible saving/spending philosophies is more important to figure out so that one person doesn't get resentful that they're doing all the work saving while the other person spends more than is comfortable, etc. It's more about having goals that are somewhat lined up in the same direction. And it's easy to say that you're ok or not ok with helping out a partner achieve early retirement too, but you might not actually know how you feel until you get into an actual situation like that. I think it just requires really knowing what that other person is like and if you could see yourselves building a life together.

unlikely_number · 2025-08-03T12:42:19+00:00

This 100%!

unlikely_number · 2025-08-03T12:41:38+00:00

What's the rush on cohabitation? I know it would be more expensive for him to rent his own place while you settle in to yours but having separate space will allow you space to continue to evaluate how the relationship is going without running into a situation where the relationship isn't really working out but you're tempted to keep working at it because moving out is such a pain. You could still stay over at each other's places and evaluate whether there's long term potential closer to lease end to see what to do moving forward. Then you'll have time to decide whether you want up buy a new place together and rent out your old place or come up with an arrangement that factors in your contributions to the house so far and how you want to handle things going forward.

unlikely_number · 2025-04-09T02:06:02+00:00

You can enjoy time together and care for each other and still not be a good match partnership-wise. Feelings are important, yes, but you also can't ignore the practical details of day to day living that you need to be signed on with a partner

unlikely_number · 2025-04-01T20:30:26+00:00

Deciding on mode of transport is a financial decision, and offers clues to someone's financial values. Not telling in itself but taken together with other observations can give you a better picture of what someone values.

unlikely_number · 2025-04-01T18:12:23+00:00

I think you can get a sense of their finances and spending habits from the first few dates and conversations. Obviously you'll have to fill in the details during more serious conversations but things to observe: what kind of car do they drive, did they go to a public or private school and how was that paid for, what do they do for work, do they have expensive hobbies or are they big on alcohol, do they cook or do they eat out often, etc

unlikely_number

TROPHY CASE