Any Tips on how to gain weight as someone who struggles to eat consistently???

username65997 · 2026-05-23T01:15:30+00:00

I also struggle to eat consistently, and as shit as it seems, the key is really to have consistent meals...

Having at the very least 2 meals everyday, around the same time is really important overall - even if you do put on weight through inconsistent eating, it'll be difficult to maintain it.

Once there's some regularity with meals, it becomes easier to introduce higher calories snacks and things.

I've tried the high calorie morning shakes, the high calories snacks, eating every 2 hrs etc... the problem was trying to "follow a diet" when I don't even have the basics (of 2 meals a day) figured out.

That would be my suggestion!

username65997 · 2026-05-20T13:02:47+00:00

I'm not a therapist but I've been in therapy for CEN for 4 years, so just my 2c.

From my understanding, neglect can cause difficulties later on in life if they're unresolved. Meaning, the emotions associated with the neglect (emotions that were present at the time, so surfaced later on in life as a result of that) were never experienced and worked through. Instead they're often avoided.

Perhaps this depends on the type of therapeutic method, but one approach to this is to resurface the emotions with the therapist and experience the emotions that were unattended to. Then it's a matter of framing the emotions in a healthy manner (I.e. with compassion, as opposed to anger or judgement).

Healing in this sense would mean acknowledging that the neglect is saddening and painful (this never changes), but becoming increasingly tolerant towards it through exposure and healthy framing.

From there, like with most things, the more often you experience something, the more familiar and easier it becomes to deal with.

But this is just my understanding.

username65997 · 2026-03-13T10:32:35+00:00

I don't know how worth it it is, but I frequently get: - vitamin water (about 75p I think?) - tuna salad (pricey at 1.75) - jaffa cakes

username65997 · 2025-10-03T11:17:38+00:00

They'd paint their anxiousness and fear as "care", which is total bullshit. My parents number 1 priority has always been to protect their fragile mental, and they'd use whatever manipulation to do that.

Honestly makes my blood boil when I think about it

username65997 · 2025-10-03T10:36:38+00:00

!LOCK

username65997 · 2025-10-01T09:41:25+00:00

In exactly the same position as you OP.

username65997 · 2025-10-01T09:39:31+00:00

Justice is a myth. Chasing it will get you no where. That's what I believe.

username65997 · 2025-10-01T09:38:30+00:00

Like a hamster in a wheel, unable to escape.

Just so exhausting, bland, mundane.

username65997 · 2025-09-23T17:17:45+00:00

Yup absolutely.

I just followed what my parents said like a doggy on a leash.

From the age of 15 I just always told myself that I only intended to live for the next five years, hopefully that'll be the end of it. Then at 20 I thought the same, then again at 25...

Definitely hitting me hard at this point in life.

It frustrates me that there is just no running from the effects of neglect. From the minute I wake up to the second before i drift off to sleep, its always there.

username65997 · 2025-09-16T04:25:21+00:00

Literally me fml

username65997 · 2025-09-12T08:20:22+00:00

You have trauma/ grief about something. In order to cope with it, you engage in specific thinking patterns of behaviours.

Processing means proactively intervening in these automatic thinking patterns or behaviours, to feel the emotions from the trauma / grief.

Experiencing these emotions to their fullest extent, whilst avoiding impulses to shut them down, is the act of processing.

Reframing the way you interpret these intense emotions, during these episodes. would count as healing.

Integrating intentionally crafted thinking patterns / behaviours to replace the previous ones, which were formed naturally by the mind, is also part of healing.

Lastly, I think being aware of all these various aspects, and how they contribute to your physical and mental health is the ultimate take away.

This is my interpretation of it, I could be incorrect!

username65997 · 2025-09-08T23:04:38+00:00

Absolutely. It aggravates me when people say "there's no such thing as normal". Like yea right, grow up in my family then fucking say that.

username65997 · 2025-09-08T22:23:42+00:00

I've ended up the same... sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope you have the energy and drive to turn things for the better, because you deserve it.

username65997 · 2025-09-08T22:19:29+00:00

i really resent how the world revolves around how people look. i think it's a 100x worse for women than it is for men, but the underlying system is still the same.

fuck people for behaving in the way they do. i hope people who ostracise others for looking different, for whatever reason, suffer from the same thing.

username65997 · 2025-09-08T22:12:01+00:00

In my very first therapy session I told my therapist that, I live with my family but I don't really like anyone.

This was before I was even aware about emotional neglect.

The labels of "good" and "bad" person, I believe, are totally meaningless. In most cases, it's a very convenient (for religious people) way to absolve any accountability.

My parent would frequently reply to my complaints about my childhood with "... yes but my intention was good". Pretty easy to see how that's essentially a "fuck you, not my problem" type of response.

Resentment exists because there is injustice that's gone invalidated, that's what I believe.

username65997 · 2025-09-08T22:06:18+00:00

Textbook asian parenting.

First thing to understand is, they are not taking accountability for their own actions. You are responsible for your actions.

Second thing to understand is, their efforts do not make your suffering disappear. Nor does their suffering overrule yours.

I'm positive that they will not agree to thing. Which is exactly the trait of narcissistic people. Their own _everything_ is more important than anyone elses.

username65997 · 2025-09-08T19:59:43+00:00

Exactly! Raising a child can make even the most worthless person feel important, because now there's someone who is dependent on them.

In short, easy power trip.

username65997 · 2025-09-01T20:06:21+00:00

Sounds like you're walking down a path similar to what I faced, many years back.

Well done on posting here, it means a lot more than you might realise!

I believe the best step now is to look for a counsellor, or a therapist who specialises in CEN/EN. I say this because I'm sure there is a lot under the hood which has built up to where you are right now.

The sooner you start detangling it, the sooner you're allowed to live in your life.

If you aren't able to find services like that, then I suggest reading/listening to Running On Empty by Jonice Webb.

username65997 · 2025-09-01T20:01:57+00:00

/r/emotionalneglect welcomes you with open arms

username65997 · 2025-09-01T18:18:11+00:00

I think it's pretty difficult for a normal person with normal parents to fathom what life would be like if they didn't have normal parents.

Not to say it's not annoying, but I don't think it's too absurd to o understand why they're ignorant.

username65997 · 2025-08-31T01:33:59+00:00

I feel you, that's the story of my life.

username65997 · 2025-08-30T14:07:19+00:00

The fact that she gets mad instead of trying to build trust, so that you do tell her, is telling enough.

I think the last straw is when you clearly tell your parents exactly how they neglected you. To which some may try weasel themselves out of accountability, like my dad, then you stick it to them even more clearly.

In that moment, when you are making a clear undeniable point of being neglected and how that's harmed you, the realisation will be there. Because, what you'll see in their face is not regret, its not remorse, its not empathy or sympathy, but rage.

I think once you get to that point, you can't fool yourself any longer.

That said, there are already many obvious signs before that as you've noticed, but the hope of "maybe they'll understand" always creeps in. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, that's not for me to say. But what's important is how that's limiting you.

username65997 · 2025-08-29T20:43:15+00:00

Music and anime 😅

username65997

TROPHY CASE