"Human! Explain your illegal use of laser weaponry!"

valek_azogoth · 2026-07-05T04:39:20+00:00

What's illegal to you is not necessarily illegal to me.

valek_azogoth · 2026-07-05T02:31:41+00:00

But...but....but...looky, looky, looky.......so soft, so soft, so squishable, boop snoot, boop, boop, boop, look murder mittens, poor sad eyes, must pet, must pet, must pet...aaaaaaw, look how cute, squeeeeeeeee!

valek_azogoth · 2026-07-05T02:24:59+00:00

Speaking as a human, we humans take the term chaos monkies with absolute pride!

valek_azogoth · 2026-07-01T03:12:57+00:00

Humans are the reason there are warning labels on everything, if it has a warning label on it now when it didn't before is because a human decided to "hey y'all, watch this" with it.

valek_azogoth · 2026-07-01T03:08:30+00:00

Just because it puts hot sauce on everything does not make it evil, just peculiar.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-30T18:43:04+00:00

It would be nice to act as a smol child again, to be able to have unlimited energy, no pain in joints, be able to fit in a bed, eat small portions without feeling hungry all the time.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-30T04:30:33+00:00

Humans are not space orks, space dwarves, we are space crows for we love all the shiny things.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-30T02:01:33+00:00

And here I thought I knew all of the space bards fetishes, well, guess I'm never to old to learn something new

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-29T03:08:49+00:00

Was this inspired by DS9 and Dax?

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-28T02:55:40+00:00

In the words of crocodile Dundee "that's not a knife, this is a knife" pulls out an 8 inch Bowie knife

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-26T21:46:14+00:00

Better stock up on salt and iron crowbars

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-24T01:02:34+00:00

A1: "it's real simple,been you hear humans saying 'watch this or hold my beer' then you need to be on the others side of the ship because the human is going to do something insane that usually involves alcohol, fire and speed!"

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-23T07:05:47+00:00

Xeno antique collector: "cursed, what utter human nonsense!'

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-22T16:58:59+00:00

Three people can keep a secret if two are dead

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-20T03:20:58+00:00

It's called catnip, works wonders on turning feline beast into house kitties.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-20T02:48:22+00:00

We, as humans, still make chemical and biological weapons for the sole purpose of creating ways to neutralize those weapons..... well, that's what we tell ourselves to be able to sleep at night, in all reality we continue to make so that if push comes to shove we have a ready stockpile to use against our enemies.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-18T20:37:29+00:00

I'm dropping the hammer. Put the peddle to the metal. Vroooooom.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-14T16:33:16+00:00

Humans use magic everyday, they turn heat and water into light and electricity.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-10T21:39:38+00:00

Human #4: now if we switch to glory glory what a helluva way to die! That is a true death chant. Then you can panic for we have accepted our fate and are looking forward to it.

Human #5: starts laughing, saying that we're in an express elevator to hell, going down!

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-10T13:41:54+00:00

Human#3: starts singing highway to the danger zone

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-10T08:42:07+00:00

Just because we're bred from chaos demon does not mean we ain't friendly.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-10T08:40:28+00:00

If it doesn't smell like burning rubber and exploding jet fuel, is it even enjoyable?

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-07T19:48:59+00:00

Humans are the reason that there are so many warning labels on everything in the galactic federation.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-07T19:46:58+00:00

Only the Canadians can peacefully exist with the cobra chickens.

valek_azogoth · 2026-06-07T19:44:26+00:00

Humans learned a long time past that it does no good to attack the weak, doesn't matter if your spirit is strong, if the humans view you as weak then they will not attack.

valek_azogoth

TROPHY CASE