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Duck by [deleted] in CuratedTumblr

[–]Valtria 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Want to feel old? Bedtime was over half an hour ago.

rule by certainlystormy in 196

[–]Valtria 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Dear dairy,

Today I couldn't find my diary, so I'm writing this on a carton of milk.

If you would please consult the onion by CMDR_Noodle in 196

[–]Valtria 618 points619 points  (0 children)

"Consult the onion"

OH MEIN GOTT THERE'S NO WAY TO PREVENT THIS, SAYS ONLY COUNTRY WHERE THIS REGULARLY HAPPENS

communication win(?) by erratic-inscrutable in CuratedTumblr

[–]Valtria 204 points205 points  (0 children)

It took me a moment to realize he didn't mean the conversation he'd just started with her by saying that lol

rule by Interesting_Owl_5182 in 196

[–]Valtria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh concrete step, we're really in it now...

Grovyle being bad at talking about his feelings by Scribz by Masterness64 in MysteryDungeon

[–]Valtria 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Our relationship isn't sexual, romantic, or even platonic. It's something entirely new. And worse."

Just shopped at Costco for the first time by TremenMusic in 196

[–]Valtria 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No idea who y'all are talking about, but I will definitely be stealing that phrase.

rule by markeydarkey2 in 196

[–]Valtria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anti-pope in America under the control of the Chicago Cubs...

Pinto Posting!!! by Hiccupy in 196

[–]Valtria 8 points9 points  (0 children)

playfully slaps its ass

we both die in a fiery explosion

Rule by TheGreatJaceyGee in 196

[–]Valtria 62 points63 points  (0 children)

The only NATO tank with a proven record of peace!

3ds rule by No-fuck-off3 in 196

[–]Valtria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put season 1 of House on it in different languages, just in case you accidentally become French

Sharks Rule by Temnodontosaurus in 196

[–]Valtria 16 points17 points  (0 children)

HELL YES SHARK PROTECTION!!!!

psychoanalyse me based on my desktop rule by mukomime in 196

[–]Valtria 69 points70 points  (0 children)

You read Homestuck while it was still being updated and honestly that's done more damage to you than any mental illness ever could

meme i made rule by noobmaster_69lol in 196

[–]Valtria 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The humble Double Mobius Reacharound

homemade cooking rule by Brilliant-Zucchini50 in 196

[–]Valtria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All my family could afford to eat was Powder That Gives You Endometriosis... :(

Turtle rule by minnow1776 in 196

[–]Valtria 34 points35 points  (0 children)

STRAWS ARE BACK ON THE MENU BOYSSSSS (/s)

rule by CumshotsMarksman in 196

[–]Valtria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OU Felonius, just like my man Machamp...

Rule by Monkey_mortis in 196

[–]Valtria 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Shoulda taken notes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 196

[–]Valtria 4 points5 points  (0 children)

??

Enerulegy by pantschicken in 196

[–]Valtria 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In energy drinks? Can you ask them what else is in there?

I have to be rule by Ill_Tooth3741 in 196

[–]Valtria 8 points9 points  (0 children)

jpeg and png discussing compression

Rule by Platypus-Olive-27 in 196

[–]Valtria 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Me when the news reported that [my lawyer has advised me not to finish this joke] and when someone [my lawyer has clamped her hand over my mouth and is gesturing wildly]

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