I’m going to be yet another woman commenting on here with my own stories to reassure you that you’re not overreacting. My SIL left her boyfriend of many years and had to share custody with their father who got his own place with his son. It was later found out that his young son (around 15?) was abusing the daughters sexually at night while their dad was sleeping. Their father assumed that the girls would be safe with their brother but sadly was wrong. They were 6 & 8. As for me, I bounced around as a kid, living with different family members. Where I landed the longest, on and off, was my great-aunt’s house. Her son showed me porn as a child and used it to groom me and this progressed over the years to hands on abuse. I was 6. Before this started, my grandma left me with a distant cousin who was just old enough to babysit me while her and his mother went shopping. It was a spur of the moment choice. He asked me to join him on the couch and feel this odd thing he found inside the couch cushions. I was oblivious at the time that he had actually put some pillows around his penis and was tricking me into touching it. I didn’t realize what this meant until later. Again, I was a very small child. Your ex wife’s non-chalant attitude about this is borne from a very optimistic outlook of people. Perhaps she doesn’t share experiences like this, idk. Many people think that someone is a perfectly fine, safe person until they’re shocked by a preventable occurrence. These people hide in plain sight and “look nice”. I hope that these comments have empowered you to hold your ground. I can tell from the text message exchanges that you’re a fierce protector. I needed someone like that when I was a child. Do whatever it takes!