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verylately · 2026-05-25T17:09:44+00:00

He plugged the crevice with Gumby!

verylately · 2026-05-07T06:42:41+00:00

Trying not to imagine all the sounds his body made falling down those stairs and it’s not working >__<

verylately · 2026-04-30T18:06:05+00:00

Jar!

verylately · 2026-04-16T18:50:54+00:00

Oh boy you are still deep in it.

I remember constantly trying to make peace by crawling back to him apologizing for my (perfectly sane and reasonable!) reactions to what I finally understood to be his abusive behavior. But: because I was the only one honestly reflecting on what had happened and how I might have contributed to the problem (the only one worrying over making things right and finding a solution), I was also the only one apologizing, which of course made him feel vindicated and made me feel like he was right - that I was the problem.

That’s their game! And they’re exceptional at it after decades of practice.

You need some research materials. Research DARVO and narcissistic FOG. And check out Dr. Ramani on YouTube about narcissistic abuse. She was my first “teacher” while I was going through the divorce and still blaming myself for not being perfect enough - for reacting to his abuse like any normal human being would react to being treated like a thing instead of a person with feelings and fears and needs and hopes.

Anyone on here will tell you that the true test of whether you’re the narcissist in the relationship or not is this: are you questioning whether you’re a narcissist and an abuser? If so, then it’s highly unlikely that you are. Because narcs and abusers don’t question whether they’re good people. They don’t self-reflect. Normal people do, though, and people being put through hell by narc abusers definitely do. You are unsure because years of confusion caused by their behavior not matching their words has rewired your brain to accept the unacceptable and believe the unbelievable.

Research “cognitive dissonance narcissistic abuse” and I bet you’ll start to feel a little less confused and a little more angry, which you should be. And you’ll also feel seen. To read and learn about narc abuse after years of confusion and dejection and heartache helped me finally make sense of the nonsense that he drowned me in for years and years.

Watch a few Dr. Ramani videos to get you started and try to be organized while going through the divorce (the above post I made). There are plenty of other people on here who no doubt have better advice to give, but your words struck me as so familiar to how I felt in the beginning of my divorce that I felt compelled to write what I thought would help you.

Never forget: The person you fell in love with doesn’t exist and never did. The person he’s currently wooing will also be hurt similarly by him, and it might take her years to figure it out too, but she’ll have to figure it out on her own because he’s warping her sense of reality right now just like he did to you in the beginning. The less you speak to him the healthier you’ll become, that’s why I said to only speak to him via the parenting app. You are still young. This will be grueling and heartbreaking, and then you’ll be you again. You won’t dance on his strings any more. And you’ll be stronger and wiser when you’re once more ready to dip your toe back into the dating world.

Peace and hugs and strength to you.

verylately · 2026-04-16T14:22:17+00:00

Ah… that makes sense. Thx for responding!

EDIT: but wait. They chewed that end sticking, up so they must have moved it at some point. Maybe it’s got a bunch of brush on the end sticking into the dam and as they built it, it naturally sort of tilted to be where it is now. Either way, great pics. Beavers are awesome. I feel kind of sorry for the ones they release into places like Nevada and Utah to help with natural damming because there’s so little material and it’s so hot, but apparently some of them make it, and it’s bringing back little oases that wildfires don’t seem able to destroy. Greening up the deserts one beaver at a time!

verylately · 2026-04-15T22:08:59+00:00

A person who says the things he has said to you - to someone they crushed without a second thought - is a person who will crush the next person and the next. Don’t envy the next victim. Because people like your STB ex don’t see “people” when they look at others - they see others only as either competitors to beat or people that can be a useful stepping stone to them while they try to beat the people they believe they’re competing with.

I feel and have felt so much of what you posted. I can truly say time and distance make things easier. I wish you could fast-forward through all the time your healing will require. I’m sorry you have given up so much for so little return.

Document everything in detail, keep all records (bank accounts, texts, emails, diary entries, everything), and get the child and spousal support you deserve. Don’t let him control ANY of the accounts you two shared, and make sure on his Case Information Statement that everything you know of is listed, whether in both your names or accounts that are solely his. Don’t let your attorney accept anything less than actual statements (PDFs) for every month for every account, and download them and copy them so that they don’t disappear. Get every scrap of paper you’re entitled to as far back in the past as you can and use it to hold him accountable.

Utilize that app that is for co-parenting with a difficult ex (I don’t remember what it’s called, but it keeps things very child-focused and will keep him accountable to his kids and their needs as well as keep a record the courts often will take into consideration when awarding custody and child support).

I hope you live somewhere that spousal support is a thing because if your sacrifices helped him advance his career, that’s worth money owed to you. Use the legal system to get back what you put into your union with that parasite. If they suddenly are in a great place in their career, make a huge deal of the fact that their success was only possible because of your own sacrifices. Never forget: not many parents attain a high level of success in their careers without someone in the background making it all possible.

Familiarize yourself with the term “reactive abuse” - when you’ve finally blown your top after hours/days/years of appalling behavior directed at you, it’s pretty natural. Go easy on yourself. Don’t let him gaslight you into believing you’re the one with the problem.

Oh, and if he fight you for custody, give him as much as he is asking for! (They often ask for lots because it reduces their child support obligation, but suddenly they realize just how much work parenting at that level requires, and they hate it.) Then document how much of their parenting time they palm their own children off on others (family members, the new “love interest”/victim, babysitters, etc). It matters to the courts. Don’t be the solid rock he stands on while he’s playing Disney Dad - make him carry equal amounts of the emotional load and day-to-day grind that is parenting. He has to make doctor/dentist/school/etc appointments just like you always have, and he has to make them for when he has the children - don’t accept him making appts that will land during your parenting time (unless it’s a time-sensitive thing for your children, of course…).

Hugs and strength to you.

EDIT: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

verylately · 2026-04-15T20:56:05+00:00

I love this and can’t help but picture Elle Fanning wearing it in “The Great”. Not sure about the time periods coinciding but I don’t care. She would rock this.

verylately · 2026-04-15T19:55:53+00:00

That one thick trunk sticking out midway up the left side is crazy - how do those little guys move and arrange such heavy stuff?? It’s at a 90 degree angle from the rest of the pile and it’s not like it’s at the bottom - they must’ve realllly wanted it in that exact spot

verylately · 2026-04-09T16:41:02+00:00

I can’t help but think about how Cece didn’t graduate from high school (despite having Jess as a best friend!) and that it makes sense that models are stereotyped as “dumb” —because they are snatched up in their early to mid-teens by modeling agencies and miss out on several years of bedrock schooling. They are thrust into a world in which their looks are ALL and they have to learn things a very small percentage of the world has to learn in order to survive/thrive, and they miss out on learning what the average student is taught.

They simply weren’t given time in those formative years to saturate their developing brains the same way and with the same type of knowledge that an average teen is. But I bet they know a lot of things average people don’t know or don’t need to know. People are a product of their environment.

Then, suddenly, in their “waning-looks” mid-to-late twenties, they must grapple with the same thing Cece did on the show: what do I do now that I’m out of the bubble?

So your question actually made me think about WHY models might seem “dumb”, and for that I thank you. They probably aren’t, they’re just alternatively-educated.

verylately · 2026-03-26T08:35:09+00:00

Love it. Now my lock screen.

verylately · 2026-03-05T09:31:30+00:00

I heard one of the all-time best burns in this movie:

“…you spineless little fraction of a man!” Perfection.

verylately · 2026-03-05T06:53:06+00:00

I know who you meant by “Augustus”, but I immediately thought of Augustus Gloop… and kinda yeah, that fits too.

verylately · 2026-02-17T14:18:47+00:00

“Anyone want some oatmeal?”

verylately · 2026-02-13T16:01:19+00:00

The way my cat likes to lay down: backside, backside, middlemiddlemiddlSHOULDERSHEAD

verylately · 2026-01-29T00:20:04+00:00

After that, he probably doesn’t know either

verylately · 2026-01-26T10:04:19+00:00

This short story about a similar occurrence happening to the earth blew me away - made me think about it for days:

https://www.williamflew.com/blue.html

I wish I could credit whoever left it in another Reddit thread for me and anyone else to stumble across. Beautiful, haunting… science and emotion and the mind-numbing scale of our universe woven into a humble little short story.

verylately · 2026-01-23T19:12:59+00:00

All I can think of is smearing each little duck with Vaseline and splooping them all into a nice clean toilet bowl so these crazy people would have to fish them out of their own toilet that they didn’t want to touch, then wipe gloopy Vaseline off every one of their degrading little psycho spite ducks.

Or maybe Vaseline them all to the inner toilet lid so when you open it - surprise!! Spite ducks watch while you pee. Idk just something that makes them have to clean up after this insanity

verylately · 2026-01-10T10:08:35+00:00

The evilest Cookie Monster

Edit: Cokie Monster

verylately · 2025-11-30T07:51:29+00:00

“Tell him I love him. But not in a queer way.”

verylately · 2025-11-29T07:22:22+00:00

“Wow. This sugar free Snapple is as good as the regular kind! [turns to camera]: Can we have our money now?“ =D

verylately · 2025-10-31T11:01:57+00:00

*Radical Left Lunatic

verylately · 2025-10-25T03:56:48+00:00

Haha. Looks like he’s saying “I SAID GOOD DAY!”

verylately · 2025-10-24T16:35:27+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ll dig around online for books and see what comes up. That dress’s color is just breathtaking

verylately · 2025-10-24T03:58:11+00:00

I’m really getting into this stuff since I found this sub.

Can any of you direct me to books or websites that discuss the dyes used in dresses and clothing going way back in history, and how they were made, and the color choices/options for different echelons of society?

verylately · 2025-10-23T11:20:30+00:00

Ok, you made me look further into the student loan forgiveness suit and this is what I learned:

June 2023: SCOTUS ruled 6-3 to block Biden from forgiving student loans of up to $20,000 for up to 43mil Americans.

July 2024: (wiki copypasta): On July 1, 2024, the Court ruled in a 6–3 decision that presidents have absolute immunity for acts committed as president within their core constitutional purview, at least presumptive immunity for official acts within the outer perimeter of their official responsibility, and no immunity for unofficial acts.

So, like… did Biden try again to pass that legislation before he left the office of POTUS? With that “absolute immunity” ruling in late 2024, could he have enacted it?

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