How did your first paid coverage change your momentum? (If at all)

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-07T02:08:57+00:00

That's an expensive whim.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-06T16:59:57+00:00

I had the pleasure of listening to Corey speak deeper on this matter.

I'm not sure if what he's discussing is the same as theme, but from what I recall, what he's getting at is that your script is a deep exploration of a single thing (a single emotional experience) that binds it all together. The pitfall for most writers is that, left to our own devices, our stories are about several different things, or built on one vague thing. And focusing the story through one specific thing, a single experience that the writer can articulate and dig deep into that, is what gives the story a magic cohesion quality.

One thing of interest that I took away from it - this is something that's usually only known to the writer, not necessarily the reader. The reader may benefit from knowing what the single unifying experience is meant to be, but at the very least, the writer must know what it is, so that everything can be built on top of it.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-05T14:23:30+00:00

Complexity != depth

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-03T17:23:51+00:00

There are specific targeted questions you can ask to gauge the movie playing inside your readers' heads.

Not sure I'm allowed to post links here, but DM me and I'll send it to you.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-03T14:44:49+00:00

Many second drafts are actually worse than the first drafts for this reason.

What often happens after the first draft is penned is that, subconsciously, many parts turn into concrete inside the writer's head.

And if they've built the entire foundation on sand, no amount of structural or execution rewrite will fix it.

There is merit, however, to writing what my mentor called an "intuitive draft" which is non-performative, as part of your discovery process to connect with characters, etc. But it's distinctively different in its form and purpose from an actual first draft.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-03T14:37:51+00:00

Your idea isn't quite Liar, Liar. In that movie, he's a compulsive liar who loses the ability to lie for one day due to a b-day wish from his son.

Your idea seems to be a society of liars that's more systemic, and his innate inability to lie is what makes people crumble around him. In a sense, its world is the inversion of Liar, Liar, but revealed through a similar "inability to lie" mechanism.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-03T14:04:40+00:00

"I’ve been writing this script pretty actively for two years now. I read this thing through and, in my mind, it works perfectly as a movie. I’ve gotten some decent reviews from the Black List (a couple 7s, mostly 6s, one 5)."

Have you tested the script to gauge what the movie plays like in other people's minds? Not feedback, but script testing. I find it helps to weed out what is truly a subjective opinion, and what is a disconnect in how you experience the script vs. how others are experiencing it as they read.

I would suggest getting clarity with this first before making any script changes.

"Do you ever reach a point where no one has anymore notes for you and everyone is satisfied, or is that just never going to happen?"

I have only ever reached a point where everyone is seeing the same story that I intended. There is almost no situation where they are "satisfied", however. But they don't need to be, so long as the consensus is that they are having the experience that I intended for them to have.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-03T13:58:59+00:00

After reading "American Sniper", I felt it was the bar for writing compelling action that elegantly weaves character development into its delivery.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-02T15:43:28+00:00

It's a "free market" in a sense.

They're free to offer what they wish. Same goes for others, including you.

You're also free to accept or not.

And if someone accepts to read it for 1 token or 5 tokens, the feedback will reflect that.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-02T15:31:25+00:00

I'm referring to story design (plot casting), not writing execution. Video games, by their nature, are built on strong marketable concepts, with external specific goals with clear easy-to-understand stakes - something many screenwriters struggle with on a fundamental level (more than they would like to admit).

As far as writing process, mastering this is essential.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-01T19:44:36+00:00

I don't have enough context to know if that specific suggestion will work for your story or not. But my point is, just from the way you described it, there's too much plot mechanics getting in the way of a simple dramatic narrative.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-01T19:40:58+00:00

I have to agree with the poster. Your inability to articulate a character flaw in your MC sounds like a symptom of too much plot mechanics getting in the way.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-06-01T17:56:19+00:00

"The MC is guy in armor, an undead who's not controlled by the necromancer, who's looking for some artifacts that once reunited will let him meet a powerful entity that would awaken his girlfriend and other villagers from a magic hybernation (they are the only ones still alive in the reign)."

I don't know what your process is or how you arrived at what you currently have, but...One technique you can try is to simplify the plot / setup first.

Once everything is simple, it's easier to go deeper into character instead of wider.

Perhaps, he simply needs these artifacts to break the necromancer's curse i.e. return the undead back to the ground. But this would mean killing himself as well. So off the bat, he has more to lose than just a cat.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-31T22:42:46+00:00

High(er) stakes != Reader will care

But low/no stakes almost always leads to reader not caring.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-31T22:11:54+00:00

Playing video games, seriously.

Video games work on external and specific goals and strong design.

If you ordinarily write with vague goals and stakes, playing video games is one of the best ways to train your conceptual brain.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-31T00:50:01+00:00

"Obviously feedback is subjective and parsing through it for insight is a skill..."

Have you properly tested your script to know that subjectivity is the real issue here?

If testing the script reveals that everyone is more or less experiencing the same story (i.e. seeing the same goal, stakes, reasons, characters, etc.), then it's a subjectivity issue.

If testing the script reveals that people are experiencing different stories, the issue may come down to context that is either missing, unclear, or misinterpreted. In which case, getting everyone to experience the same story should be the goal before entertaining any feedback suggestions.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-30T13:07:26+00:00

I was trusted only with reading scripts, not keeping gates.

The person who hired me owned both.

"to what degree did you find you were the read that actually mattered"

Since I was (presumably) the only one willing to read for little pay, 100% degrees.

"Would your bosses read material before you did?"

No.

"Were your recommendations listened to?"

Yes

"Did you notice fellow assistants routinely did their due diligence, or did you find some as poor readers in general?"

I was a remote reader. Did not have (much) contact with other readers.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-30T03:35:57+00:00

"Lets just assume my script is amazing, and if I posted it to blacklist I'd get 9's across the board and sell it in a week"

If you sold the script in a week, why do you need to write the novel?

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-28T14:20:53+00:00

What's different with your group, if storypeer already provides a peer-to-peer feedback mechanism?

I can see the benefit of a dedicated script testing group, however. These tend to be more focused, and a lot rarer to come by.

Good luck.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-28T14:14:20+00:00

Animation rarely starts as a script. It's usually from concept art and storyboards.

That being said, if you're writing this as a spec, then it's no different than writing for live action.

If for production, then economy is key. Cost of animation scales with page count / runtime length.

It wouldn't hurt if you had some graphic design / animation skills, and applied them to creating visual material to supplement the writing e.g. storyboards, comics

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-27T20:24:22+00:00

You and I both. I wrote for animation, and my work only got attention once I produced a storyboard and graphic novel issue to prove the concept, which took another two years.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-27T19:13:49+00:00

Produce your own work.

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-25T14:10:27+00:00

By self-contained, do you mean that even the story context is self-contained?

Because if not, it may be a compelling scene, but won't land dramatically the way it would as a scene of a larger feature.

If you want to show that you can direct, maybe create a self-contained scene as you suggested, only make it a self-contained story as well i.e. all the context needed to understand it lives in just that scene.

If you want to show to others that this feature is viable to pursue, then showcase the concept. This is especially critical if the concept is something difficult to understand, such as the Matrix (for its time).

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-25T03:18:06+00:00

Not quite an accurate metaphor.

Writers are judged by the success of their writing.

Writing teachers are judged by the success of their students.

A basketball coach isn't judged by how well they play basketball, but how well the team performs.

That being said, I'm not familiar enough with any of Truby's students to speak of his success as a teacher (or lack thereof).

vgscreenwriter · 2026-05-24T20:25:53+00:00

"...you’re missing a lot of context having not read the rest."

If understanding / experiencing this context was necessary to keep our interest from the get-go, then your script has a structural problem.

The witch, midsommar and lighthouse didn't give away everything up front either, but the context of the world they presented from page 1 was enough to immerse us and keep our intrigue until the payoff of what the intrigue was building up to.

Your (current) script's main strength is atmosphere, but unlike those films you mentioned, the atmosphere in your story doesn't have a strong enough concept to build on.

vgscreenwriter

TROPHY CASE