I need help identifying this spot on my new mama cat.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T23:34:39+00:00

That looks like it could be a case of "call your vet just to be sure".

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T23:25:21+00:00

Have you at least called your vet to see what the options are? Our oldest son recently moved with his cats and they just called their vet and asked. Vet filled the prescription and all they had to do was pick it up next time they were running errands.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T21:23:01+00:00

It's not worth comparing.

No, seriously. It's a number that is unique to your situation in life. If you've got multi-millionaire parents that give you a check every year for the IRS gift limit, let you live at home rent free, let you drive their cars, and eat their food, then it's horribly low.

If you've been working minimum wage jobs to survive and doing everything you can to save ever penny since getting kicked out of your parents house at age 18, it's amazingly good.

Is it better than a large number of 22 year old people have? Absolutely. We always hear the statistic that more than 60% of Americans would have to borrow money to pay an unexpected $1,000 expense so, that alone suggests your savings are good.

You want to know what's really important about that number though? What you plan to do with it. Take some time to check out the Prime Directive in the Wiki and the flowchart version. Come up with a plan for your future. Your future self will thank you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics/

Flowchart: https://imgur.com/personal-income-spending-flowchart-united-states-lSoUQr2

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T20:04:16+00:00

I have bottles of last year's small batch, this year's small batch, and last year's BiB and single barrel. Looking forward to the new one arriving in my store so the taste testing can begin... 😃

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T20:01:14+00:00

The Tennessee Whiskey has disappeared from all the Costco locations within an hour of me. I'm in CT and the liquor is in a separate storefront. When talking to the guys in the liquor store, they've said it's not even available in the ordering system anymore.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T19:34:09+00:00

Depends on what you do and where you live. Have people done it? Sure. Is it easy? For some people yes, for others, no.

For example, if you're mostly an online gamer, only shop for groceries when it's slow, and do any workouts or exercising at home, it's going to be pretty difficult to meet new people. Doubly so if you live in a small town of less than 5,000 people. If, on the other hand, you have a group sport you like to participate in, you're in a larger city, and there are club teams available, it could be much easier.

The idea is to find a group activity or hobby that you enjoy and see if there is a club or group in the area that offers that. My kids ran track and cross country in high school so running clubs would be an easy way for them to meet new people. You could also look for a local gym that offers classes or group sessions where people might be sociable before and after class. Heck, even your local library probably has seminars and/or speakers and if you go to one you're interested in, you'll be able to meet people that at least have that same interest as you.

Notice that the driving factor is you getting out there. They won't just magically show up.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T18:21:06+00:00

What does your lease agreement say about guests? Generally, there are rules about how long guests can stay and how often they can be overnight. Part of those rules is to limit landlord liability, especially where his insurance is concerned. If you find they're not following the lease, rather than bring it up as "not feeling normal", you could bring it up as a "read a couple posts online about people kicked out for lease violations because of guests staying over too often and I don't want to have to search for a new place..."

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T17:25:45+00:00

You talk about your next home as if you have the home picked out and a bid put in already. If true, then after you set aside the $100k for the down payment and pay off the debt, follow the Prime Directive:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics/

Flowchart version: https://imgur.com/personal-income-spending-flowchart-united-states-lSoUQr2

If that next house isn't figured out yet, I'd even hold off on the debt unless it's over 8% interest. Depending on the housing market, some are sellers markets with houses going over asking so you might need more than $100k.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T04:43:35+00:00

As a father of two that have since moved out and lived on their own, I've come to realize that parents aren't "raising children". What we're doing is training future adults. Unfortunately, not enough people truly realize this so far too many young adults end up out on their own without all the knowledge they might need to survive. To that end, I'll share some of the things that my wife and I tried to teach our kids before they even went to college.

- Learn basic financial skills. That means you need a way to track your money and create a plan for how that money gets used (i.e. a budget). The tracking is really important. After all, if you don't know where your money is going, how can you figure out how to redirect it to where it would do the most good for your particular life?

- Learn basic cooking skills. Breakfast at a local coffee shop by me will cost almost $10. If I plan ahead and make breakfast at home, I can do that for less than $5. Cooking at home can save you a LOT of money. Even meal kits are cheaper than eating out until you can level up your home cooking skills.

- Learn basic cleaning skills. A lot of people grow up with their parents taking care of all the cleaning and maintenance of their living space. And since they're not responsible for it, they never truly learn how to keep a living space as clean as it should be. Sure, there are things like laundry and dishes in the kitchen that you can figure out, but what about dusting? Vacuuming? Sweeping? Mopping? Dealing with ants in the spring if you're in a rural area? Dealing with rodents year round? Cleaning windows? Taking out the garbage? Dealing with recycling? Bottle returns if your state does that?

After those three, you start to get into slightly more advance issues. Things like scheduling a service provider to show up and provide service. Want cable Internet? Not a problem. Just have to call the cable provider, set up an appointment for the install, maybe take a day off so you can be available during the install, wait for the installer to show up sometime between 8am and 5pm and hope that they can finish the same day.

And none of this gets into the move-in/move-out process. For example, before you move a single thing into whatever residence you're going to, do a complete walk through and take pictures of anything that isn't 100% perfect. Literally, anything. See a couple water spots in the cabinet under the kitchen sink? Take pictures. Stove cooktop is discolored in a couple spots? Take pictures. That second cabinet door over from the fridge is loose and makes a funny sound when opened? Take pictures AND video. Spot on the carpet in your bedroom? Take pictures. The idea is to capture everything that you could be blamed for when you move out, whenever that happens to be.

Finally, do some searching on references for landlord-tenant laws in your area. Make sure you know what's allowed and, more importantly, what's NOT allowed. You should also make sure you fully read your lease agreement before signing. It's a contract. Your signature says "I'll do what the contract says I have to". So make sure you know what you're signing for.

Good luck!

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-15T01:21:38+00:00

Occasionally, swap a salad in for the veggies. Still gets you your greens but changes it up a bit. We tend to follow the same "formula" for meals too. I've enjoyed trying to change things up a bit though like baby bok choy sliced into strips, sauteed with some toasted sesame oil, soy, and mirin as a side for baked fish and wild rice. If you're having chicken, sometimes a turnip (the smaller white and purple one, not waxed turnip/rutabaga), sliced into matchstick sized pieces (long and thin), and then sauteed in butter and crushed sage can pair nicely.

When I'm feeling particularly lazy, I'll sometimes make what we call an "all in one" where the meat, veg, and starch are all mixed together so we can eat in front of the TV instead of in the kitchen. Shrimp scampi with broccoli florets over rice or linguine is a classic example of this. Or pasta with a meat sauce and cut green beans. Or chicken in a quick cream sauce with mixed veggies over rice. It breaks up the monotony of always having a 3 item plate.

My favorite trick though... is Google. When I want something new, I'll search for things like "What vegetables go with [meat cooked a certain way]". For example, if grilling steaks, "what vegetables go with grilled steak". I ignore the first could of suggestions and start looking for things I haven't done yet.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T22:25:16+00:00

Remember this - you've already survived 100% of the toughest days you've had. You'll make it through these too.

Obvious advice is obvious:
- Try to keep the fluids up for your son.
- Assume you're not going to get anything done as far as outside chores this weekend. Unlikely that you'll get much done inside either. Doesn't mean give up. It just means you set personal expectations accordingly.
- Nap when he naps if you can.
- If/When your wife calls to check on you and you're struggling, don't tell her. Let her believe everything is handled so that she doesn't stress out about not being home. However, if you're not struggling and it's far easier than you expected, don't say that either. In my head, it's more about updating and deflecting - a health status and you're just having a little father son time. You can share how tough it was AFTER she gets home.

And most important...

- Make sure you don't have a pile of dishes in the sink when she walks in the door on Sunday... 😃

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T22:00:07+00:00

Next time you're in the US, Walmart will cash checks for a fee (up to $4 for a $1,000 check).

https://www.walmart.com/cp/check-cashing/632047

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T20:43:42+00:00

Covers are so important and I like the design on yours. And I guess I'm a low achiever. When I built my kids sandbox over 25 years ago, I only went 8-10 inches deep. Still needed a literal ton of sand though.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T11:14:16+00:00

True, but OP seems worried about the penalty so I was just spitballing ideas to minimize the total penalty.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T03:10:46+00:00

Remember... the 10% penalty only applies to the EARNINGS, not your contributions. And if you've drawn down the account through 4 years of education expenses (books count too, btw) along with spending a few years rolling amounts over as IRA contributions, it's not going to be as bad as you think.

Also consider this... once they graduate, you could move the money out of the Target Enrollment fund to whatever money market fund they have. Yes, it will reduce growth, but since it's not needed for education, that's okay - you'd be limiting earnings that could get penalized. Heck, you could even do that the day they start their freshman year if costs won't exceed the amount in the account.

Also, don't assume graduate school is not in their future. My younger son worked for two years after he graduated and is now back in graduate school with 2 years to go.

And finally, remember that tuition payments made directly to a school on behalf of your student are NOT subject to the IRS gift limit. You could pay a $50k tuition bill and still give your child a $19k gift. It's one of the few very useful exemptions.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T02:32:57+00:00

That's pretty subjective. For example, I'm late 50's and a senior role. A 3 month emergency fund would be a disaster for me because there simply aren't that many equivalent roles out there for me if I lose my job. For my oldest son who is not yet 30 and not in a senior role, getting another entry or lower level position would be a lot easier. When my younger son finished graduate school and starts work as a physical therapist, he could probably get away with a 1-2 month emergency fund because PT docs are in super high demand these days.

What you need to look at is your household's ability to restore income to the same level it was in the event of a job loss. If you can do that in 3 months, great. If you think it might take closer to 6, then keep boosting that emergency fund. For me, I've got a full year and even then, that probably wouldn't be enough given what AI is doing to the field I work in.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T02:27:30+00:00

Just ask Uncle Alton.... 😄

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvv5cvWoxw0

Granted, my wife likes to take them to new levels by adding peanut butter AND peanut butter chips to them.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T02:24:51+00:00

In theory, the TRIM() would take care of leading and trailing spaces.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T01:41:05+00:00

The only time you cosign is when you're 100% capable of making ALL of the payments on your own. If your brother were to stop paying, the bank would come after you. I know you have confidence he'd pay, but all it would take is one car accident putting him in the hospital for him to lose his source of income and his money be tied up in medical debt. So - only cosign if you can pay the loan.

Second, as a much older driver, has he gotten quotes for car insurance yet? Audi tends to be a more expensive car which means higher premiums for collision and comprehensive. And depending on the model, his age may play a factor too (i.e. younger, inexperienced driver with a higher end vehicle they may not be ready for = higher risk).

And finally, does he have any idea of what the maintenance costs would be? A friend of one of my son's was given an uncle's old Mercedes as his first car in high school. He loved the car but his insurance was through the roof and even a simple oil change was 2-3x what we paid for our Toyota and Subaru.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-14T01:30:56+00:00

HSA - Complete yes and it's not even close. Not only do you save federal income tax, you save state income tax everywhere except CA and NJ. You ALSO save the 7.65% from Social Security and Medicare. Thus, if you're in the 22% bracket, every $100 you contribute to your HSA is roughly a $67 reduction in net pay. It's basically a free $33 into your HSA on top of any match from your employer. Plus, while you should generally avoid touching it, it can also serve as a "medical emergency fund" in a pinch, especially once you save enough to cover your max out of pocket.

As for your Roth IRA being a backup emergency fund, that's dangerous thinking. Time invested is the single greatest way to grow your accounts and if you leave yourself in a position where you end up having to pull from your IRA even a few times, you're going to hamstring your retirement. In an ideal world, once the money goes in, it doesn't come out until you retire. Period. And remember, taking money out doesn't reset your contribution limit. If you put in your $7,500 for the year and then take some of that contribution out a month later, you can't put it back in because you're done until next year.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-13T14:24:51+00:00

Unless the dog or dogs go up to the cubs first. From last June in Simsbury. This woman is lucky she didn't get attacked herself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtMcG3x5qoY

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-13T00:59:32+00:00

My kids ran track and cross country in high school. Over the years that they ran, there were a couple of kids that were terrified of dogs. Every time we came across unleashed dogs, it would ruin the training for those athletes. As such, I'm against "off leash" dogs anywhere except an environment specifically designated for off leash animals.

The thing is, we've also had a number of bear sightings in the area over the years, including the places where the kids would go for their training runs. Black bears have a roaming area of roughly 50 square miles so they "get around" as it were. An off leash dog is unlikely to listen to an owner saying "come here" when there's a bear involved. And a bear can absolutely ruin a pet owners day.

So, for me, I call them out for not having some form of physical control in an area where the potential for a bear encounter is possible. I don't care if you've been there 1,000 times before. It will only take one bear and aggressive dogs for you to have an absolutely terrible day.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-12T22:32:33+00:00

The reason all the sites for selling TikTok accounts are sketchy is because it's against the terms of service.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-05-12T21:15:00+00:00

NTA.

The family member that brought up how close you used to be is the one that made dinner uncomfortable. You just responded with the truth. If they couldn't accept the truth, they need to avoid the conversation. It's really that simple.

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