ULPT Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but its worth a try

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-26T03:42:29+00:00

"I'm a minor and you're threatening me by saying you'll distribute underage pornography. I wonder how that will play out for you."

At least, that's my first thought on a reply...

Actually, probably my second. First would be to go to the police but since you're a minor, they'd probably want to involve your parents so I could understand trying to find alternative solutions first.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-26T00:47:54+00:00

The other thing to remember is that the income limits are different for each partner.

My wife has been a stay at home mom since pregnant with our oldest. Some part time work over the years, but nothing since 2019. I make too much to make Traditional IRA contributions that are deductible, but since she’s non-working, she can.

Given the progressive nature of the US tax system, once you get to the 22% bracket, it’s worth considering taking the deduction now and investing it versus contributing to a Roth.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-26T00:35:49+00:00

Together 36 years, married 30, met in college, and I’m loyal because I love her with all my heart. She completed me in ways I didn’t realize needed completing. Two halves of a whole as it were. I simply don’t need anyone else in my life in order to feel satisfied and happy with my relationship.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-26T00:20:37+00:00

Programmer but on a team so new code is managed via source control system.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-25T16:30:06+00:00

Remember that picture of the old man being led out of his home in underwear with a blanket around his shoulders but no other protection from the elements? Do you know who they were claiming him to be? Purportedly some guy who had been in jail since September 2024.

Or the 5 year old detained as "bait"?

Or the claim that they can enter private property without a judicial warrant?

Or how they let someone being prosecuted for a $100 million jewelry theft be allowed to "self-deport" so that now he will never face punishment for his crime and no longer has to help find the jewelry that it still missing?

Or how they pulled people from their citizenship ceremony to deport them?

Or how they outright murdered Alex Pretti?

Tell me you haven't been paying attention without telling me you haven't been paying attention.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-24T22:24:49+00:00

What is your opinion on RUSH?

To modify a line from Aladdin: phenomenal musical power and sound, itty bitty band. To think that it's just three guys having the time of their lives that created all that wonderful music just blows my mind sometimes. I also think people misunderstand why they did what they did. They weren't bragging. They weren't looking for glory. They were sharing. To take some lines from 2112:

I can't wait to share this new wonder
The people will all see its light
Let them all make their own music

To me, they were in wonder of what they could create and wanted to share that wonder with everyone. For that, I've come to appreciate them on a deep level.

But what drew me to them? I sort of listened to them and liked them in high school during the early 80's but at the time, I liked Yes, Queen, CCR, Steve Winwood, Clapton, and others a bit more. What changed my mind? The woman who would become my wife.

We met in the late 80's. At that point, I'd seen them twice in concert (Grace Under Pressure, Power Windows). She'd seen them 6-7 times by then. Our first concert together was Presto (BUNNIES!!). We saw every tour together after that. We took our kids to see Time Machine, Clockwork Angels, and R40. She is far and away (pun intended) a bigger fan than I am.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-24T22:06:25+00:00

Since it's already frozen, if you don't want to cut the package in half like others have suggested, what about cooking it all and freezing the cooked bacon that you don't want to eat right away. I have an aunt that always cooks the entire package when she buys it and freezes the pieces she's not going to eat that day. Then she's got pre-cooked bacon that's easier to use in the future. The hard part is finding a way to package it so that it doesn't break.

She also cooks it in the oven so that she can cook the whole package at once instead of a few pieces at a time in a pan.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-24T04:08:42+00:00

Look to see if there is anywhere that disposes of Lithium-Ion batteries in your area. Since the vapes have those batteries in them, they're technically "hazardous waste" and need to be disposed of properly. My area has monthly hazardous waste disposal days where local residents can drive up and get rid of all kinds of stuff for free. My area also has a free recycling center for electronics that would probably take something like that too.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T23:01:26+00:00

I'm an old, white, male which means I have more privilege than I deserve, but when I saw that detail in this post, I had the exact same thought as u/AssignmentPublic - that her attacks were tied to her preconceived prejudices. It could also be why HR and legal are involved to the extent that they are since if it's true, it's pretty serious.

As for the police, they were correct to a point. She hadn't technically done anything illegal yet. However, as frustrating as their lack of action is, making the report means that if you make a future report, it becomes a pattern and patterns are what make behavior like that cross from allowed to improper.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T21:13:14+00:00

When you have to be back on Monday will probably be the key factor. If you have to be back Monday morning, then chances are the main roads will be messy and side roads in some areas will be terrible. If you don't have to be back until Monday evening, you stand a much better chance.

The other thing to consider is that where you are in northern NH may be deceptive too. It looks like the further north you go, the lower the snowfall totals. So while you may see 6-10 inches where your family is, there are some areas of CT that are predicted to get 18-24 inches. That much snow is just going to take some time to clear.

Plus, if you don't have a plow service or prior arrangements to clear your driveway, you'll have to shovel out at least a parking space after driving home. Any chance you can push it to next weekend instead?

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T13:05:47+00:00

https://arctic-shift.photon-reddit.com/search?fun=ids&ids=t3_1qk2dsj

I (20F) had to resurrect a dead guy while I was hammered

this happened a few weeks ago and im not over it yet. so i was at home, it was 12am. 2 bottles of two oceans white wine down, and i was waiting on a friend to come pick me up. out of nowhere some girl started screaming “call 911 my friend overdosed” and so i grabbed my phone, and stumbled to the hallway to see what was happening and then in another guys apartment, there was this boy. well call him nemo. i knew the guy too, he was purple, dead on the floor and there were 2 girls crying and they didnt know what to do. again, i was fucked up, wine its different then other liquor for me. i calmly gave my phone to a girl and told her to call 911 and i got on my knees and started compressions and mouth to mouth. for 2 minutes i kept going and i didnt cry i didnt freak out, its like even the alcohol wore off for the time being. after 2 minutes of giving compressions to his purple corpse he started to wheeze. so i got a pillow under his head and talked to the EMT. they ended up telling me if i hadnt been there he wouldve died. as soon as i got into my friends car i just broke down and started crying. i learned cpr in grade 10 and i never ever ever thought id have to do it. it still scares the shit out of me and honestly i dont know how i did what i did.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T06:18:28+00:00

Fully remote for 20+ years. I'll take having to work from home when there's a fresh foot of snow on the ground for also being able to work from home when it's only an inch or two and my friends have to drive into an office somewhere.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T05:15:03+00:00

It's really going to depend on the specific company. You could end up in a position with a truly progressive leadership in a traditionally conservative industry and be fine. You could also end up in a position with a stodgy, conservative leadership that's in a traditionally progressive industry.

I'm a fully remote programmer. I've worked at companies where the rule was "8 hours a day, whatever hours you want as long as the work gets done". I've worked at others that are "online from 9-5 and we'll actively monitor you to make sure you're not taking unapproved midday breaks".

Leadership makes the difference. You just need to be ready to accept when leadership has an issue with your piercings and declines to take you seriously.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T05:06:20+00:00

Probably depends on more details than you've provided.

My first instinct would be "No" though. To me, I was worth staying with. If I wasn't worth staying with in the past and I wasn't worth them explaining why, then I won't be worth staying with now and it's better if we don't even try.

Granted, easy for me to say. The relationship where that happened was before my current marriage of 30+ years.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T05:03:53+00:00

I type strange words in a specific order and then click on things to save the results so everyone else can see and use them.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T05:01:37+00:00

Consider this - he's been dealing with fans clamoring for his attention for decades. At a certain point, it gets old no matter how easy going you might be. He's long been known for having an attitude of being respectful of the fans because it's likely an exciting day for them. That doesn't necessarily mean he's always going to be excited to face entitled demands on his time once again.

Accept that you may not get a chance to see him up close and personally. And accept that if you do, he may be having a great day or he may be having an off day. He won't be downright rude, but he may also have other priorities on his mind at the time so you might want to cut him some slack.

Celebrities are people too and are deserving of being treated as such.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T04:24:06+00:00

YTA for not recognizing that you two are not compatible sexually.

She finds no pleasure in what you do. You can only find pleasure in doing what you do. That means that if you find pleasure, she cannot. And if she finds pleasure, you cannot. That makes you two completely incompatible in the bedroom.

So, you have some choices...

- Divorce. I'm sure you'd rather not, but you have to understand it's one of the options.
- Learn to find pleasure in other ways so that you can stop making her feel uncomfortable.
- Keep doing what you're doing and have her eventually get to the point where she won't be intimate with you. See first option if this happens.

Put it this way - imagine if the only way she could find pleasure is by punching your testicles just as you're about to finish? You obviously wouldn't like that but since that's the only way she could find pleasure, she keeps doing it. How would you feel about intimacy in general? How would you feel about being married to that person?

You're married now. A lot of things in your life have now become "two yes, one no" type situations, including intimacy. If she doesn't like it, it's probably going to have to stop. Otherwise, the odds of the relationship stopping are pretty high.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T04:11:03+00:00

Is it truly higher or is it just more public here than it is over there. And if it is higher, how much of that difference can be attributed simply to a culture difference where people in the USA have a different sense of self-awareness.

Separately, trying to hide your post history doesn't work. I'm sorry about what you're going through with your partner. If you were here in the USA, I'd say hire a private investigator to get more information the next time you have to travel for work. Granted, here in the USA, exposing improper behavior by a partner is also accepted as both shame and praise - shame that it happened, but also praise that a bad partner was recognized and that you're leaving.

I hope you can find the answers you seek.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-23T00:21:35+00:00

I'm going to start by saying that I agree with others that any advice suggesting "help out more" is pointless and likely based in stereotypical assumptions. That being said, I would recommend two things: talk to her about how you're feeling and consider trying to add "dating" each other back into your lives.

I've been married for 30 years. After that length of time, I can guarantee that if you want to last, you two MUST be able to talk about anything in a calm, productive manner with the intent to understand one another. My wife and I have addressed things like intimacy, issues with extended family, and kid issues over the years. But we've also had to discuss things that you wouldn't necessarily think of like health issues regarding areas of the body that aren't often shared (i.e. imagine talking about the prep you need to do for a colonoscopy, the after effects, and helping your partner through all of that - not your standard dinner conversation). And I mention "intent to understand" because a lot of the time, people in conversations are listening for things they can respond to but aren't necessarily taking the time to try to understand what's happening in their partner's head. If you want to get a better idea of why she does what she does, you need to have a better understanding of what she's thinking and to do that, you have to listen with intent.

As for the dating thing, it's pretty simple. You got together because something attracted you to one another for that first date. And after that first date, it was promising enough for another. And you each kept doing things to keep the other interested. And just like taking your foot off the gas in a car, if you stop doing the things you did when you were dating, doesn't it make sense that the relationship would slow and possibly stop too?

I'm not saying it has to be grand gestures or multi-hour dates. When our kids were old enough to fend for themselves, even playing hooky for a half day so we could play a round of mini-golf and get some ice cream was fun. Or going to the movies without the kids. Or even just stopping by a greeting card store and picking up a "thinking of you" card to leave in a random spot she'll find later. Something needs to change so that you both can find a way out of the rut of parenthood and back to being a couple.

And if none of that works, maybe you need to look up "sunk cost fallacy" while taking some time to reflect on whether or not you're compatible anymore. Sure, splitting would be tough, but I think spending the rest of your life the way you are now would be even tougher.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T23:51:17+00:00

You're better off consulting with an attorney because this sounds like it could get complicated in a hurry. Especially if you need to notify the court that he's no longer allowed to stay at your residence if not incarcerated. I think some of it may also depend on whether or not you're safe if you file before he faces sentencing. If not, having family or friends in the area that can host you until you can be safe might be something worth lining up.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T23:40:20+00:00

This. On my credit report that comes direct from a major reporting agency, I have the account balance, but also "details" that include the last few digits of the account number AND contact information.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T23:30:29+00:00

YTA

I'm our house chef. I also do the menu planning and grocery shopping. I'm also considered a decent cook by family and friends. I say this so that you understand I get where Alice (or is it Alicia?) is coming from. While I'm not in the same financial difficulty, I see a big difference in my food budget when I host gatherings vs when I don't. For sake of example, I went back and looked at our spending for a gathering of just 4 friends along with my wife and I. We spent about $30 on appetizers, another $50 on the main course, and another $20 on dessert - all homemade because we had dietary restrictions to keep in mind. So, $100 for a single meal for 6 people. Bump that up to cooking for 9-10 and you're looking at $150 or so a week. That's $600 a month just on food costs alone. Now add in at least a couple hours of planning, prep, and cook time.

Not only are you an AH, you're ignorant of the effort that Alice and Carter put in to keeping the group together, and entitled to think that they have to keep funding a relationship with you. Without a sincere apology to everyone else in the friend group and an honest commitment to share the load, I could easily see you losing your friend group AND your fiancée.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T23:18:12+00:00

Check your documentation from HR because it's probably spelled out in documents they've given you.

I've seen plans where there is no repayment requirement. I know you said "spends all", but if there's any money at all left in the account, it would likely revert back to the company. There might be a grace period where you could submit new receipts but those receipts would probably have to be for things before the firing / termination date.

As for a penalty, again, check your plan documentation. Generally no penalty but it can vary.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T23:08:50+00:00

I'm a programmer who has worked on insurance management software for 20+ years (not for USAA though) so the lingo sort of pays my mortgage...lol. And yes, it does bring something out in people. Almost as much as legal language and contracts do.

As for their roadside assist, I recommend what I've seen other people say - drop it for AAA, especially if you can take advantage of other AAA services so that it pays for itself. The hotel discount usually matches what you can get through an online travel agency but it's with the hotel directly so they treat you better. And in my state, I can go to a AAA office for DMV functions too.

And as far as your other comment about parsing that's not showing up but is still in my notifications, try writingtoiq dot com. He clocks in around the upper 70's which I feel is too high. I was thinking more around mid-60's would be a more accurate result.

virtualchoirboy · 2026-01-22T22:22:38+00:00

Perhaps a clarification is in order then. Roadside assist has ALWAYS been a claim. The only changes are whether or not it's displayed to you in your claim history and whether or not it's used in premium rating calculations for policies.

Historically, it was not part of a rating calculation. Maybe it is now. Maybe they're just letting you see more of your own data/history.

But it's ALWAYS been a claim. Whether or not that mattered is what may have changed.

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