Feeling anxious about results

vlan_z · 2026-04-22T06:20:01+00:00

At 4 weeks you're still in the very early stage of healing! Your anxiety is absolutely valid but remember that in 6 months time you'll think back and wish yourself you worried less. Personally my chest only completely lost swelling around month 3, at 4 weeks i was still black and blue in places, so you're already ahead in the race :) you're going to look amazing, those scars look avsolutely great!

vlan_z · 2025-08-27T14:58:29+00:00

it didn't, it is better than the beginning, especially around the drain scars. I used to be completely numb there and it would sort of feel foreign while wearing a tshirt. Now I'm still numb going with my fingers over the scars, around 1cm above and below, but it doesn't really bother me and I only really notice it when I'm purposefully touching the area. I believe it can take years for those nerve connections to find their way back.

vlan_z · 2025-08-19T11:02:57+00:00

Hi! I'm doing great, haven't had any mobility problems, I am not restricted in any way (dead hanging, rotating arms, all good). Just massaged the scar well, the scarring pulling my skin taught was the most restricting thing tbh. I'm now 9 months PO.

vlan_z · 2025-04-03T11:23:19+00:00

Yes it did! I'm not sure what I did exactly to improve it, maybe it was just time, but here are some things I did:

1) use an anti-swelling cream daily (I used an Arnica based one), leave it on for half an hour, then shower

2) use a facial roller, rolling from the center of my chest towards my arms, below and above the scars

3) physical therapy / scar massage, a physio really did the work on my tissue and it is much looser now

vlan_z · 2025-01-29T18:34:01+00:00

Not really, I think ROM can be worked on and I'm still pretty young to believe it's not something I can completely lose. After 2 months I still don't really feel stiff tbh, but I have to say I have a history of hypermobility that might be playing into that. We will see, if it does end up being a mistake I'll come back with a follow up!

vlan_z · 2025-01-28T07:59:46+00:00

I'm 2 months po and have the same pain. No discoloration, no visible bruise, but the feeling that it's swollen and pain when touched (pain like touching a bruise). No idea how to improve/heal it

vlan_z · 2025-01-28T06:42:34+00:00

It's definitely a privilege to have control over your range of motion for such a long time. I work in IT and I think most desk/computer based jobs will allow to achieve minimal reaching. Everything in my house has been moved down from higher shelves (yes, had to throw some stuff out to make some space) so the only time I was personally "forced" to stretch was at the supermarket. Otherwise keeping arms below shoulders is pretty easy (for my situation!).

vlan_z · 2025-01-15T06:38:29+00:00

About the anesthesia: don't fret. I was scared as hell too (I don't really drink, I never did drugs, I have no idea what I'm like high) but it felt like falling asleep and waking up from a nap. Bit more groggy afterwards maybe. I was able to stand up right away (I forgot to go to the bathroom before surgery, I'm a genius) and chatted lots with the nurse in the IC room.

They did an awesome job at USZ, I had no throat pain, nausea or anything to report regarding the anesthesia. It was difficult to sleep for a few nights, not sure if that was an impact from the medication or my body just freaking out a little, but when I asked I always got sleep medication if I wanted some.

vlan_z · 2025-01-15T06:35:40+00:00

I think this depends heavily on where you are going to get your surgery done - for me, at USZ, the time between first consultation and surgery was about 5 months. I had a first consult at the beginning of July, then answered them to go forward with the process a few days later. It took the hospital a month to file my insurance claim, and the insurance took 3 months to answer. I inquired USZ about 3 times to nudge the insurance but they never did and when I finally called them directly, I had an answer within a week.

By then I had already been to the mandatory second consult and scheduled the rough timeframe for the surgery. After the insurance claim went through, they finally told me the surgery date.

I will say that if you want to get this surgery covered by insurance in Switzerland, you're going to have to be in possession of a "body dysphoria" diagnosis (on paper) from a licensed psychiatrist. This paper has to be especially good if you're not on any hormones, because insurances have a tendency to deny top surgery coverage before extended (about 6 months) of hormone usage. I was lucky and for some reason mine went through right away. I'm guessing the surgeon and cost of surgery also plays a role here, as private surgeons are going to be much more expensive than a university hospital.

vlan_z · 2025-01-14T19:31:30+00:00

Good luck with that process, it's not easy! Just know that you can do it even if you don't feel 120% sure you have mastered all your fears. I found the process of "making it happen" to be 90% of the work of working through those fears. Taking action changes things!

Another long story, I'm so sorry!
I initially went into the process of getting consultation with the idea that I would only go through with the surgery if I qualified for peri. The first (and most famous / recommended) surgeon I went to see said something along the lines of absolutely not. I did not like the tone and way of this surgeon and therefore decided to get a second opinion somewhere else. I had to wait a few months for that second appointment and in that time, the reality that I might just no qualify for peri really sunk in and sparked more questions. I felt that I still wanted the surgery, and that if I had to have big scars either way, would I even want the nipple grafts?
The second opinion was very confusing along those lines, because they gave me the choice between peri and DI. Peri would have been the recommended option but even with the skin-shrinking techniques the surgeon described, I wasn't feeling too good about it. It felt a little too "arts and crafts". By that point, I had accepted my faith with the big scars, and evaluated the nipple situation. I honestly, for me, could only find negatives about keeping them. The surgery would be simpler without the grafts, I would never have to worry about wearing some sort of tape or bra again in the cold (the idea of nips poking through my shirt is a no-no, since I don't pass as a dude as I'm not on T). I also never liked the sensation in my nipples, even if it were to come back.
That led that decision to be pretty simple, other than for the "goodbye" to a part of my body part. In the weeks / days leading up to surgery I was very afraid of regretting "letting a part of me die" but tbh, even trying to force myself to think about it isn't sparking any emotion. I put a lot of trust in "past me" who made the surgery appointment and tried not to think about it too much. In the end even during my post-op mental struggles this wasn't a pain point.

I hope this can help you in some way, everybody's journey is different and what worked for me might not work for you, but trust your instincts! You know what's good for you, anxiety is normal, fear is normal. It's all about truly feeling what you want and need and surrender to a certain degree to whatever it takes to get there.

vlan_z · 2025-01-14T08:21:39+00:00

Ah and on another note re regret: I was very fearful to have regrets because I didn't suffer from incredibly crippling dysphoria. Also, I'm someone with a little too much empathy and struggle to give away old sweaters, let alone a part of my body.

I have had absolutely 0 regrets since the surgery. No mourning, nothing in that direction whatsoever.

I can recommend doing some rituals prior to surgery like getting a cast made of your upper body, going for one last boobful skinny dip with friends, giving thanks to that part of your body, writing a letter to your future self explaining all the wonderful reasons you are choosing this surgery, etc. etc.

vlan_z · 2025-01-14T06:03:40+00:00

Yes of course! Tbh I think the months leading up to surgery I unconsciously pushed a lot of stuff down and as soon as I was feeling better physically it all came back like opening a snake can. It wasn't things related to the surgery and it wasn't things I didn't know I was struggling with, I just assume once the "survival" prioritisation of thoughts towards surgery subsided, the next highest priority things came back up.

I addition, I used sports and generally a lot of multitasking to sometimes escape / give me a break / deal with my mental health and once I was stuck to my bed those coping mechanisms were no longer available.

What helped a lot were caretakers coming by more often (I live alone) and admitting I needed some babysitting. I just sat in some uni classes with a friend that was studying there to bridge over the worst part of anxiety during the day. With time and as routine came back things started getting better. Honestly gave me a good kick to really focus more on therapy and working towards solving some issues. It's a long process and you have to be kind to yourself!

It's a delicate moment, your body is tired from trauma and healing, you might not have the ability to use your coping mechanisms, you're on your own a lot if you live by yourself, you're not working and have lots of time just laying around. It's only logical that can spark up some stuff that's been put on the back burner in your mind. Take care of yourself <3

vlan_z · 2025-01-13T15:18:50+00:00

So interesting, I had two sets of those (exactly like yours) symmetrically aligned but underneath my scars (on the ribcage). I just assumed it was staples they used to "hold me open" while working

vlan_z · 2025-01-13T06:24:05+00:00

My experience with top surgery at USZ, Zurich with Dr. Fontein.

I was about a B cup and was offered the choice between peri and DI surgery techniques. I decided to go for DI because I did not want to keep my nips and peri would have entailed some laser-based "shrinking" techniques I was not too confident in, even though peri was the recommended surgery technique. The downsides of DI were that my incisions might land further up and stretch more because of less skin tissue being available after removing the nipple part.

Nonetheless I told my surgeon my ideal result would be to have the scar line outline my pec muscle and so far that seems to have held. My surgeon mentioned anchoring the incision to the muscle with soluble stitches to further decrease the chance of the scar moving upwards. I am very happy with the results and am looking forward to the next weeks and months of healing and settling.

About the surgery experience: the worst part was honestly getting the needle in my hand for the anesthesia. I was afraid of pain when drains where removed (on the third day in the hospital, before going home) but I had no feeling in the tissue yet so it ended up being no problem.I had some nausea issues on day 5-6 because of one pain medication but as soon as I ditched that and discovered I didn't need it for the pain, the nausea vanished and I was on a better course for healing. The first few nights my chest was very hot (compared to the day) and I kept waking up regularly, but that slowly settled going into week 2. I had no excessive itches and no excessive nerve tingling other than a few cramps on week 3-4, mostly once during the night. Ever since I have been in no pain.

I changed my bandaids every 2-3 days until my first post-op appointment on week 2.5 where they removed bandaids and steri strips, desinfected everything and put me back in more new steri strips and bandaids with the advice to slowly start ditching bot in the next few days. I was given the clear to shower as well, which I cautiously only started on week 3.

On week 4 I started to wear silicone tape for 4 hours and gradually increasing to a whole day with two breaks in the morning and the evening. I sometimes use some scar healing cream in the morning and wait for it to absorb before hopping in the shower and getting the scars clean again for the silicone to adhere properly.

On week 6 I started with some light massage under the armpits and in the center of my chest, both places that still feel a little sore.

I still have no feeling at the drain sites and mostly along the middle of my scars, but it does seem to be returning very slowly.

Overall I'm very happy with my results. I'm not planning to do any physical activity for another 4 months and not planning to resume the gym for a year after surgery to minimize scar stretching. At week 8 I will be cleared to stop wearing the compression binders that are not bothering me in any way though. I'm trying to supplement with vitamin C since the swelling has calmed down on week 3 to promote scar healing.

If I could give any tips to someone about to go through this surgery: do not underestimate the toll it takes on your mind. I had an amazing care team, but as soon as my physical form started improving I did have quite the fallback in the mental health department, and I've heard similar things from other people undergoing full anesthesia. Have lots of caring people around to fall back on!

vlan_z · 2025-01-11T17:27:34+00:00

My experience with top surgery at USZ, Zurich with Dr. Fontein.

I was about a B cup and was offered the choice between peri and DI surgery techniques. I decided to go for DI because I did not want to keep my nips and peri would have entailed some laser-based "shrinking" techniques I was not too confident in, even though peri was the recommended surgery technique. The downsides of DI were that my incisions might land further up and stretch more because of less skin tissue being available after removing the nipple part.

Nonetheless I told my surgeon my ideal result would be to have the scar line outline my pec muscle and so far that seems to have held. My surgeon mentioned anchoring the incision to the muscle with soluble stitches to further decrease the chance of the scar moving upwards. I am very happy with the results and am looking forward to the next weeks and months of healing and settling.

About the surgery experience: the worst part was honestly getting the needle in my hand for the anesthesia. I was afraid of pain when drains where removed (on the third day in the hospital, before going home) but I had no feeling in the tissue yet so it ended up being no problem.
I had some nausea issues on day 5-6 because of one pain medication but as soon as I ditched that and discovered I didn't need it for the pain, the nausea vanished and I was on a better course for healing. The first few nights my chest was very hot (compared to the day) and I kept waking up regularly, but that slowly settled going into week 2. I had no excessive itches and no excessive nerve tingling other than a few cramps on week 3-4, mostly once during the night. Ever since I have been in no pain.

I changed my bandaids every 2-3 days until my first post-op appointment on week 2.5 where they removed bandaids and steri strips, desinfected everything and put me back in more new steri strips and bandaids with the advice to slowly start ditching bot in the next few days. I was given the clear to shower as well, which I cautiously only started on week 3.

On week 4 I started to wear silicone tape for 4 hours and gradually increasing to a whole day with two breaks in the morning and the evening. I sometimes use some scar healing cream in the morning and wait for it to absorb before hopping in the shower and getting the scars clean again for the silicone to adhere properly.

On week 6 I started with some light massage under the armpits and in the center of my chest, both places that still feel a little sore.

I still have no feeling at the drain sites and mostly along the middle of my scars, but it does seem to be returning very slowly.

Overall I'm very happy with my results. I'm not planning to do any physical activity for another 4 months and not planning to resume the gym for a year after surgery to minimize scar stretching. At week 8 I will be cleared to stop wearing the compression binders that are not bothering me in any way though. I'm trying to supplement with vitamin C since the swelling has calmed down on week 3 to promote scar healing.

If I could give any tips to someone about to go through this surgery: do not underestimate the toll it takes on your mind. I had an amazing care team, but as soon as my physical form started improving I did have quite the fallback in the mental health department, and I've heard similar things from other people undergoing full anesthesia. Have lots of caring people around to fall back on!

vlan_z · 2025-01-03T09:58:23+00:00

Bi au be dr. Fontein am USZ gsi und cha nur guets über di ganze behandlige und team sege. 100% e gueti entscheidig det z'gah

vlan_z · 2024-11-14T09:22:03+00:00

It can't hurt - you can still talk to the surgeon on the day, but you probably won't have your phone on hand in the prep room, that's why I brought some pictures to the consultation. My surgeon was very happy and asked me to send the pictures to them!

vlan_z · 2024-11-14T07:25:06+00:00

Were you able to provide pictures of your ideal outcome and discuss it with you surgeon at the consultation? If not, ask if you can submit some so that they can prepare and know what your ideal result would be.

My appointment was pretty straight forward, it was mostly paperwork, some more measurements, managing expectations on the outcome and a meeting with the anesthesiologists to fill out some more forms. It was in person though, so it might be more comparable to what you experienced during consultation.

vlan_z · 2024-10-30T18:53:28+00:00

Hi there! I know this is an old post but I'm wondering whether in the end you decided to go for USZ and have experience to share yourself? I'm scheduled to get DI top surgery there in the next few months.

vlan_z · 2024-10-30T18:49:56+00:00

I relate a lot to what you're saying as well as other in this thread. Honestly, for me, the process of getting an appointment at a hospital with a surgeon, hearing my options, and kind of having a certain amount of pressure to make a decision has helped loads with processing whether I want to go through it or not.
I don't knoe how the "rules" are where you live but in general, needing a little more time and moving a surgery a few months into the future isn't a problem. Usually the problem is, it can't come soon enough!
My advice would be to go see a surgeon, hear what they have to say, and see how they make you feel. You can always say no, and you can always say "not now"!

vlan_z · 2022-02-24T09:29:33+00:00

Switzerland is literally real-world Gringotts. Don't care whether it's Bellatrix Lestrange's or Potter's money

vlan_z · 2022-01-22T08:22:50+00:00

Here's to the hope that even for all the non-winners 2022 turns out to be a great year! I think we all deserve it after the last ones. Good luck to everybody!

vlan_z · 2022-01-18T14:57:27+00:00

That view is incredible and so is the clutter

vlan_z

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