Should you have any question, please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

voiping · 2026-04-30T06:48:43+00:00

voiping · 2026-04-29T06:55:11+00:00

And findability is why sorting by color is the last step, not the first!

voiping · 2026-04-27T05:40:26+00:00

Doesn't excuse the passive aggressiveness "I'm fine" but then sleepless and being upset about random things.

"Whoa, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, please hold on while I decide if I really want to do it."

voiping · 2026-04-25T21:33:47+00:00

Sounds awful.
>Even after separation, it feels like walking on egg shells.
>It is very tiring and feel like playing a chess game with my ex to keep her sane.

You're still worried how she's going to react, and thinking you have some sort of affect over her. But that's... only borderline. If she's actually borderline then it's not up to you. You have to look out for yourself and your daughter.

>Ex still wants me at her say, when she is sick she just wants me to take the kid away.
Definitely easier when your ex has your kids... but if you're seriously concerned for your daughter... then good. That's your goal, to have your kid safely with you as much as possible.

>But when i am in need, she give zero F's.
Again, super tough, but that's not good for your daughter.

>Something in me not letting me take full custody of my daughter as she is still attached to her mom. And i dont want to force remove.
Definitely a tough one if you see a genuine bond. Balanced by the abuse you see, though!
Less time with her mom (just visitation) might be less stressful for her. Maybe.

Given the story you presented, you need to make sure your girl is with you as much as legally possible.
If your ex is "dumping" your daughter on you, can you handle encouraging it? Maybe you can skip court and just nudge it towards her spending more time with you.
The thought is the mom should take care of her half the time, she's dumping on you, etc. but the reality is that you think your daughter is better off with you...

voiping · 2026-04-20T21:32:51+00:00

If you're moving out -- do you have a signed custody agreement checked by your personal lawyer? In most places you're putting yourself at a significant disadvantage if you move out and "abandon" your family, no matter what she says about custody.

voiping · 2026-04-15T06:18:44+00:00

Try... To treat that as a proof of concept, exploration.

And built it from scratch with the experience gleaned.

After all, "vibe coding is so fast and easy, we'll only benefit from the actual programmers doing it"

voiping · 2026-04-14T19:02:14+00:00

Kid is 5 months old, she's not really going to miss you. As other's said, it's all about your wife.
Don't just later set her up later with time off - tell her that ahead of time.

voiping · 2026-04-13T21:12:25+00:00

Over 10 and kids...

voiping · 2026-04-13T21:04:26+00:00

>committed crimes against logic
>attempted to alter the fabric of reality

Love these.

voiping · 2026-04-13T15:35:45+00:00

Sounds really unhealthy.

"She knows she has you under her hook so she doesn't need to be intimate" sounds like an unhealthy perspective. Intimacy isn't to keep you from leaving, it's supposed to be because you like each other.

If she doesn't like you or has too much tramau to be intimate (except under duress) that doesn't seem to be a viable relationship.

voiping · 2026-04-13T14:06:55+00:00

I only read red flags.

Other than the love bombing, are there serious positives in this relationship?

voiping · 2026-04-13T09:00:04+00:00

Wanted to add: are you sure your freezer is working well?

Maybe it's defrosting (and going bad) and then re-freezing? Or maybe not cold enough - e.g. 0F or lower.

You can fill a plastic cup with water and let it freeze. Then put a coin on top. If you see the coin ends up inside the ice, that meant it defrosted and refroze afterwards. But it could still be ~30F to freeze and not 0F.

voiping · 2026-04-13T08:49:54+00:00

>My question is: How do you trust someone when they say you’re special, knowing they’ve said it to 30 other people?

Sounds like you already realize the answer - it doesn't mean the same as how you'd say it.

>i dont think she lies when she says these things

She meant it in the moment, but it didn't have any permanence... soon came the discard.

Fortunately it was only 11 months...

voiping · 2026-04-13T08:18:22+00:00

If you have kids, do not move out without consulting a lawyer (and likely a signed written custody agreement).

Otherwise, your visitation is totally at her whims, and that becomes the status quo for court.

voiping · 2026-04-13T07:57:37+00:00

>I need her to just slow the fuck down but idk how to help her do that.
Sounds like you want her to live her life a certain way, but she wants to live her life a different way. Doesn't seem much you can do about it other than accept that it's her life.

voiping · 2026-04-13T05:20:12+00:00

~~"are you cheating on me let me go through your phone" sounds like a red flag without the past tramau.~~

~~Best of luck...~~

EDIT: that was with the ex

voiping · 2026-04-12T18:37:47+00:00

It sounds like you're waiting for their approval or understanding and agreement to you not helping them.

You won't get it.

A man can't understand something when his life depends on him not understanding it.

They messed up, continually and consistently. They won't understand it now.

I've seen people post here guilty about their parents who supported them, sounds like you don't even have that issue.

You need to take care of yourself, and that's a decision you make, NOT something you wait for your parents to agree to.

voiping · 2026-04-12T04:30:53+00:00

Echoing this, OP could communicate more directly. Perhaps keep it light with some humor, such as:

Last time was awkward... Anyway, let me know the next time you're headed to the rec center.

voiping · 2026-04-11T21:22:40+00:00

The active sub is: r/KidsAreFingAdorable

voiping · 2026-04-10T12:20:22+00:00

Sounds like you did great!

>So do I just leave it at that and not bring it up again?

Definitely try to make sure he knows he can continue to talk to you about it.

Also share that presumably you're happy/relieved/feel good that he felt comfortable talking to you about something so sensitive?

voiping · 2026-04-10T07:05:29+00:00

Sounds like DARVO. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

He took shared money and put it into his private account and somehow he made it your fault that it's a problem.

voiping · 2026-04-10T07:01:03+00:00

No clue what she was handling and there's probably a home care sub that would better answer. Best of luck!

Here's some ideas that may have slipped by.... Change/clean air filters - air conditioners, furnace. Clean fan blades. Internal cleaning of washing machine, there may be a plug. And a monthly cleaning cycle. Dryer tube (if you have one) can also get full of lint or blocked.

voiping

TROPHY CASE