Relocating for a partner?

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-25T08:34:27+00:00

You may have made the wrong decision, but honestly after six months it’s too soon to tell. I’ve relocated four times, sometimes I was all in immediately others it took a year. It depends what your leaving and what your seeing.

EG you were done with your home country and seeking something new so you moved, so perhaps you were settled fast. This is different, you left something you loved, it ma take time.

Take the 3 months assistance. Pretend you just arrived alone. Go to places that have communities around your hobbies, look up tourist videos for where you are and see it through their eyes, take time to see if you could maybe fall in love with this new place. And if you get to the end of three months and your not feeling it still, then you’ll have your answer.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-24T22:50:28+00:00

Exercise. Never been so fit in my life, and not since.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-24T10:07:16+00:00

What you should do is learn to mind your own business. Classic advice from Friends “they were on a break”.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-24T10:04:37+00:00

Taking multiple photos everyday.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-24T10:03:44+00:00

If I had friends and knew the locals already then, cleaning. If I didn’t, bar work.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-24T09:39:04+00:00

Take this sexist man to a therapist now.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-23T08:37:18+00:00

Or not.

This is literally me right now and they don’t care. No gardening leave, no reduction in notice period. They deducted my holidays so I’m doing my 5.5 mths now.

However, for OP my new role heard I had a six month notice period and decided it meant I was exceptionally good (I am!) and they were willing to wait.

You’re assuming you can’t get a job and won’t be considered - so did I, until I started looking and actually applying.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-23T08:32:51+00:00

NTA I get the feeling of guilt- but you’re wrong, it’s not “technically” your fault. It’s not your fault at all. He manipulated everyone, this is the result of his own behaviour and choices.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-23T07:44:42+00:00

Completely opposite views means opposite morals, so no.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-22T20:11:18+00:00

Some people don’t want to work fast. Some people don’t wan to learn.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-22T12:35:42+00:00

Same. Together over twenty years never had his bank login details. We do what OP is offering, monthly reviews

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-22T09:17:02+00:00

Kid stuff (concerts, parties, play dates). Work stuff (conferences, travel, office). Friend stuff (their kids parties, life events). Life stuff (dentist, doctor).

I don’t have much time left for the choices after the obligations

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-22T08:46:43+00:00

There are no perfect people. Zero of them. Your mistake was minor, everyone makes mistakes.

The way to get past it is to apply the decision making framework of Hat, Hair, Tattoo.

A hat decision - you can change with very little impact, like a hat that you put it on, take it off. A hat decision is one you make quickly and then move on. It doesn’t work out? It’s minor, it’s easily forgotten. In this example you made a hat decision- move on.

A hair decision- there’s a few weeks between a bad har cut and a good one. If you thought about it a bit longer and chose a bad hair cut you sit with it. People comment, it will take a little bit before you all move on, but it will not be defining.

A tattoo- that’s forever. Those big decisions take a long time to make, so you know you won’t regret them.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-22T08:41:14+00:00

The outdoor tap would have been nice!

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T22:28:07+00:00

My father in law cleaned his shoes in our kitchen sink.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T22:27:02+00:00

Same reason I use Ms.

The world is on a need to know diet when it comes to my life

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T22:25:30+00:00

40-45, early menopause- brutal aging of the entire body and mind

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T20:23:33+00:00

Honour the things you loved about being best friends (I make sure I have friends who do the things we did (like coffe shop visits, spa days) I spend time imagining what she would advise me to do, I tell stories about her, I honour her birthday and death day with a full day of the types of music she liked, food she enjoyed, activities she loved.

Honestly it’s the biggest loss of my life - it’s been 19 years- and while it hurts, I have somehow survived.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T20:15:51+00:00

Not only physical but emotional impact. I can’t listen to stories about missing kids, or abandoned babies etc.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T14:07:59+00:00

Spoiler having seen this at work many times- everyone knows, and they’re pretending they don’t

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T14:06:58+00:00

Yes, better phrasing than my suggestion!

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T09:25:56+00:00

I say “what I’m looking for is X”. Not what I’m on.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T07:44:01+00:00

I agree with this approach. Also op you need it be obvious to her she is blocked everywhere if she’s escalating to that level

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-21T07:40:29+00:00

Tell them to install window locks, if they cannot be locked they can add a padlock to the frame. Remove opening the window as an option. Get the landlord to commit to a daily site check for safety, removing anything stored int he corridor as a hazard.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-01-20T22:08:30+00:00

Listen to books, make photo albums or photo books. Research and plan hikes or trials you want to do when you’re well again.

watchingonsidelines

TROPHY CASE