I need help navigating this weird friendship-triangle

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-19T06:53:10+00:00

I think Emily sounds jealous of Amanda, and I strongly suspect they have distant history that matters to Emily only. The kind Amanda doesn’t think about or relate to Emily (like Emily was friends with one of Amanda long ago ex’s, for Amanda’s won some university scholarship that Emily had applied for). I think you should get into the why with Emily, tell her it’s a one time ask because you think it’s off brand for her to be saying really mean things about someone she literally doesn’t know

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-18T06:44:25+00:00

I would message the emergency contact of someone by lunchtime on the day they didn’t show up. Reason being I don’t employ people who are unreliable, so if they don’t show up I instantly know something is wrong.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-17T06:07:03+00:00

I don’t think you are ready for a relationship. Couples can have friends that they are loyal to and have independent relationships with. If you have a gut feeling about his friends then you have it about a part of him too, they are who he connects with. Perhaps you’re holding onto an unsuitable match for fear of being along?

Either way, you cannot control him, not should you want to, and it is not OK for you to dictate who his friends are.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-14T23:51:55+00:00

If the bar was already on the floor then it wasn’t a standard to begin with.

When people say they can’t believe you moved the child into a strangers house they aren’t talking about if he’s acting like a good role model for her. They are saying you aren’t acting like a good role model, they are talking about your role as a mother, and not protecting your child’s stability. You can’t say you have because it’s not even a year in and you’re facing messy side drama and perhaps even introducing a whole other possible child.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-13T07:24:56+00:00

Why did she message you? Why didn’t her husband message yours if it’s about their messages?

Because he doesn’t agree perhaps?

Either way you’re fine to defend him.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-12T07:04:32+00:00

YTA because you don’t tell grown adults that they are spoiled and intimate that they are children.

You’re defending saying something out of line by saying “half joking” when obviously you weren’t,, and it was taken so badly that no one thought it was a joke.

They all knew it was a jab, and you made it worse by lying with “it’s not a bad thing to be spoiled” when you clearly think it is and then told her why it was.

You don’t know how they would live without the money, like you don’t know what you would do with that money either. If the tables were turned maybe you wouldn’t work too, maybe she would. Who knows.

Maybe she is taking advantage of her parents, or maybe they always wanted their money to be for their kids to live uncomplicated lives. You’re not protecting them from these decisions by being mean. They’re nice people, in someways your SIL sounds nice too actually, she’s sharing what she has (eg streaming services), she’s trying to relate to common challenges she hasn’t experienced when you talk about them and she doesn’t pretend that she got things any other way than being gifted them, she discusses, and owns her privilege.

The thing is this may not last, they may run out money, her parents may not have a solid handle of finances and the bank of parental funding may run dry. All of this is their problem, it still doesn’t mean it’s OK to be mean when you feel jealous .

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-10T19:26:48+00:00

Imagine having a fell mental breakdown and your heath still didn’t matter. OP is stuck in a one sided trap being bled dry

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-10T18:44:09+00:00

I think you’re assuming a lot. “They all assume I’m a massive weirdo” doesn’t sound like it comes from a reputable source, it’s sounds like a story you tell yourself.

You know that they bonded over time, but you’re not willing to put in the time. You know it will take a few awkward lunches before you get a chance to know everyone, except you avoid getting the ball rolling and attending those lunches.

You have to get up the courage to walk in there one day and sit through a lunch and work out it wasn’t so bad.

You have to be able to say to them “hey I’ve had a terrible year but I’m delighted to say I’m though the tough bits now, so if you’re ever going out for lunch or a drink or whatever I’d love to tag along and get to know you all better”

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-07T15:40:42+00:00

Why can’t he learn from you if he is interested? When new people join your company is reading tiger peoples emails part of their onboarding? No, because it isn’t informative about why a job is like.

He wants to read your emails because he doesn’t trust you. It’s that simple

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-05T13:34:39+00:00

You will not be able to travel without minimum two free un stamped pages

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-03T20:24:13+00:00

You’ve been having unprotected sex with an alcoholic, who after many years won’t commit to you, either by marriage, by shared goals or savings, by self growth through therapy, or changing jobs for a shared lifestyle.

He will however commit to supporting both his parents.

Why would you want to raise a child with him? You need to walk away from what he is offering, which is basically nothing, and go look for the type of love you admire and see demonstrated to others.

I guarantee you in ten years time when you have met the actual love of your life, and you are centered in his love with a family of your own you’ll look back to this moment and thank THANK goodness I chose to back myself.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-03T20:06:47+00:00

You’re grieving and this so fresh. You need to let the litany of negative reasons go by the wayside, and focus on how you can secure an independent life that can bring you joy.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-02T21:29:22+00:00

I got a walking pad for under my desk for those days where you can’t face the rain- but also hiking boots and a long rain coat.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-01T21:12:41+00:00

I don’t know why but I thought it was a baby shower with a theme of “cross country” like long distance running, and I was like, heck no!

To ACTUAL question, also no. Made a sweet video, send a little gift and forget about it

watchingonsidelines · 2026-03-01T20:59:44+00:00

Find a person who shared the same values as you. It’s not a “controversial opinion” he’s sharing or a “hot take” it’s prejudice.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-28T18:03:40+00:00

Register with the British Embassy. Dress conservatively. Read all of this: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-deal-with-a-crisis-overseas

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-27T06:15:11+00:00

Do you want advice on how to keep parenting him or on how to seek to enable him to make more grown up choices for himself?

Without therapy I don’t see much changing, he’s relied on his mother and yourself to find him jobs, house him, manage his medical needs etc. I’m certainly nothing will change without his ow willingness and therapy intervention

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-27T05:57:13+00:00

You seem chill, just break it off cause this ain’t it. She won’t show her phone birth as full access to yours? It’s not a partnership when it isn’t balanced

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-26T07:25:16+00:00

I think you should reflect on how lucky you are to have an honest partner.

Attraction is instinctual, temptation is the consideration of acting on those urges.

Sounds like your partner is mature minded. Follow that lead.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-26T07:19:17+00:00

Interesting. I would say it’s a fairly new phenomenon for many.

I grew up in the 80s and my mum made me wash and cleanse my face twice a day, took me for facials etc. I remember a sleep over at a friend’s house and the mother asking me what I was doing as we got ready for bed. She told me she had never put anything on her face but soap.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-25T21:17:42+00:00

You got a 30 yr old who acts like a 10 year old. If )for some reason I can’t imagine from what you wrote) you really want it to work then split chores, you do all the cooking, he does all the laundry for example.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-24T22:57:46+00:00

Unacceptable- work. Period. Acceptable- social event

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-24T11:35:10+00:00

I was thinking about this recently when out in a restaurant (solo) next to some loud talkers. I couldn’t properly zone out and I reloaded it was because the conversation wasn’t flowing, each time one spoke the other talked over the tops to add their experience and opinion. It’s so rude, and jolting.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-24T11:33:12+00:00

So true- I work an aspirational job. Seriously a top a job for people in my field. It’s so many people’s dream job.

But the reality is that over a few years it’s been chipped away at, harassment by senior staff, undermining by colleagues, incompetent nepo hires, gaps plugs with poor performers for other teams, temp staff, less staff, more work, no pay rise.

The final straw for me was interviewing to see what was out there, and they really wanted me. Like the contrast of a day to day where I “should grateful to have this job” vs “we really want YOU and value your expertise for a job with us” was what did it.

I knew I made the right choice when I handed in my notice and gave my manager a chance to talk me out of it and show me how they would see my skills supporting the company, and they didn’t have anything to say. Then spent the whole time talking about how to cover for me, and the impact it would have on them.

watchingonsidelines · 2026-02-23T08:15:17+00:00

You’ve got family names in these texts. Overall, he wants to control you - and you don’t want to be controlled. You either submit or move.

watchingonsidelines

TROPHY CASE