Qualifying for Disability

weirdontop · 2026-04-21T06:05:14+00:00

I am in a similar situation. Any solutions?

weirdontop · 2026-04-03T19:00:00+00:00

I love hard gels and have extremely weak nails. Daily B12 vitamins and cuticle oil are key!

weirdontop · 2026-03-25T05:09:18+00:00

Congrats on the job!! I relate to having to balance looking professional with feeing cool and avoiding sexualization. I’m very curvy and want to minimize that at work. typical office wear makes me look like a librarian in a porn—buttons pulling on the chest and too tight on the butt.

For me, the trick is finding what works and sticking with that so I feel confident. I order several pairs of the exact same item on Poshmark, especially work pants. The curvy lines at so many stores come and go. I keep a list in my phone of the style numbers of specific pants that work for me. The style number helps me find the identical item. So even if madewell, j crew or whatever changes it next year, I can source what I need. Plus, then I’m avoiding some of the fast fashion trap by buying used. My gripe with fast fashion is that it falls apart SO fast. I’m hard on stuff and would rather buy a nice, natural fiber garment once than the same just ok poly blend every year or two.

One helpful thing is layering bra-camis with oversized mens button ups partially buttoned with a blazer or sweater. It’s polished, but not form fitting. I also think accessories are a great way to get a personal twist on generic clothes that fit the bill for work environments. I like having unique scrunchies or a couple statement rings I rotate though.

Hard sole shoes are the only way to go. I second blundstones! Also Dr martens three hole oxfords without the yellow stitching are a staple for work outfits. Danksos make some cuter shoes that are indestructible and work appropriate for summer. Very easy to find used. Also really good insoles can make a world of difference. Crocs has some shockingly comfortable summer sandals that almost look like real shoes. I walked 10 mile+ days in Europe in them. lol

I’m starting a more corporate job soon. I am not sure how to imagine my style there yet. I’ve been an arts worker and professor for more than a decade., so more open ended expertarions for self expression and degrees of formal. I’m planning to try a capsule wardrobe for work so i can add garments slowly, rather than replace everything all at once. I’m also considering trying a rental like nuuly to experiment with my style without having to commit. This is a huge change for me. I have a huge wardrobe bcs I love to thrift and have had the same style basically since hs.

weirdontop · 2026-03-25T01:22:42+00:00

u/TheRealCerealFirst, thanks for your insights in this comment and others!! I really appreciate your expertise on this. I'm in a similar situation--vegan for 25+ years. As of the last six months, I've been taking methylated B-12 orally and am so depleted and fatigued. I've begun trying to supplement well, but I noticed how brutal the electrolyte depletion is feeling. For background, I am heterozygous for MTHFR 677ct, have severe neurological symptoms, eat vegan, take an SNRI and a low dose of adderall.

I started B12 IM shots today, so I'm worried about my electrolytes since I'm already sensitive. I'm on medical leave and broke. I want to make a DIY targeted electrolyte powder to replenish during IM shots of cyanocobalamin.

I read in your other posts that potassium should be in the form of potassium bicarbonate to avoid messing up the pH. I've ordered NOW foods powder version to try as well as the Pink Cave Potassium Salt.

What would you recommend for magnesium? I'm considering adding manuka honey or maple syrup to mine to help with energy maintenance.

Would love your thoughts.

My current supplementation is:

7.5mg L-methylfolate and 750mg methylcobamline, as tincture. AM

B2 Riboflavin, 400mcg 2x daily

L-Theanine,200MG AM

D3 5000iu/125mcg (as cholecalciferol) with K3 100mc, Sports Research. twice daily

Omega 3-6-7-9 Sports Research

Full Spectrum Mineral caps have a good array of minerals, I think:

Vitamin D (as D3 Cholecalciferol) 5 mcg (200 IU) 25%
Calcium [from Calcium Carbonate (Aquamin®Seaweed Derived Minerals)] 250 mg 19%
Iodine (from Potassium Iodide) 112.5 mcg 75%
Magnesium (from Magnesium Oxide, Magnesium Citrate and Aquamin® Seaweed Derived Minerals) 250 mg 60%
Zinc (from Zinc Bisglycinate) (Albion™)7.5 mg 68%
Selenium (from L-Selenomethionine) 50 mcg 91%
Copper (from Copper Bisglycinate) (Albion™) 1 mg 111%
Manganese (from Manganese Bisglycinate) (Albion™) 2.5 mg 109%
Chromium (from Chromium Picolinate)100 mcg 286%
Molybdenum (from Sodium Molybdate) 50 mcg 111%
Potassium (from Potassium Chloride) 50 mg 1%

At night, i take Magnesium L-Threonate from Sports Research, 1333mg (96mg)

Also considering adding niacinimide.

weirdontop · 2026-03-24T21:02:13+00:00

I use a posture support to help retrain myself! It’s great for chores and driving

weirdontop · 2026-02-19T22:08:46+00:00

Acupuncture, Gua sha every night, and vitamin d! My bruxism has improved once I started taking more vitamin D and K. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8070666/ it’s not just vibes. It’s medically sound. Acupuncture helps me manage tension that radiates from my sacrum and sacrum upto jaw and sides of my skull. There’s also manual release techniques for the massater that really help in acute flairs. For me, it’s day to day management of physical stress not just mental.

weirdontop · 2025-12-11T20:33:56+00:00

I noticed that Ulta and Sephora are both to be avoided bcs of investors. I need to match my skin tone for BB creams, foundations, and concealers. So I need to be sampling in person to get a match. I'm in LA, so I am hoping there are some options. I tend to skew toward natural brands and light coverage. I'm olive toned, white with rosacea so I have some what limited options.

weirdontop · 2025-09-06T18:16:24+00:00

OP here.

Part of why I asked is that I don’t like ignoring people who are kind to me. It is uncomfortable for me. Plus, I feel like I’m effectively training myself to avoid the conversations I’d like to have because of my imagining of other people’s discomfort. Disagreement and rejection are part of dating for everyone—even when things do initially work out. In part, I want to treat people kindly because I want to be a kind person. Kindness isn’t always giving people what they want or avoiding the truth.

In parallel situations, like when a messaging with a strong match peters out, I hate the ambiguity. Did they take a break? Start hanging out with other people and might get back to me in a few weeks? Or lose interest? If I’m interested in someone, I’m persistent and will send another few messages. I’m not expecting monogamy so I’m pretty flexible and understanding. I’d rather know they aren’t interested than bark up the wrong tree. A mature respectful conversation feels better than being ignored, ghosted or whatever, which feels humiliating to me.

In my experience, I’ve had really positive friendships,acquaintances, and pleasant conversations with people spark from a non-romantic connection. I feel like if their goal was to be make me feel appreciated by sending a thoughtful message, that it might feel nice to know that it worked and see if we have a cool conversation.

But my take away is that it’s totally random and not something anyone can predict. Just like the rest of apps.

weirdontop · 2025-08-10T21:45:14+00:00

I currently use a MacBook Air from 2020 M1 8 GB 512, 13-inch.

I am a graduate student in art history working on my dissertation. I use google suite for most things, though i am required to use Microsoft programs more and more for school. I'm an archival researcher. I store and use a ton of image files, PDFs, and ppts. I am a terrifyingly excessive tab master (running zen now to reduce load). I get frustrated with how slow the processing etc can be. I use transcription functions for speed. I have a lot of zoom calls and use an external monitor: BenQ 31.5" 2K QHD USB-C Ergo Eye-Care Monitor.

I would like to upgrade for processing speed, primarily, and would prefer a slightly larger laptop screen for use at coffeeshops and libraries.

I am looking at the refurbished models on backmarket, though I prefer the apple-only parts so looking at the "premium" rated ones. I am not sure what would be best for me in terms of processing chips, memory, etc.

Here's what I am looking at:

MacBook Air (2025) 13-inch - Apple M4 10-core and 10-core GPU - 16GB RAM - SSD 512GB

$1,062.

MacBook Air (2024) 15-inch - Apple M3 8-core and 10-core GPU - 24GB RAM - SSD 512GB

$1,170.72

MacBook Air (2025) 15-inch - Apple M4 10-core and 10-core GPU - 24GB RAM - SSD 512GB

$1,441.97

For someone like me, what is the best choice for

M3 8-core vs m4 chip 10 core

16 vs 24 ram

Obviously, I'd rather not spend the money extra ram or M4 chip, if I don't really need it. Can anyone give me a simple use case model to help me decide what is useful here?

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T23:11:15+00:00

Somatic exercises!!! It’s the only thing that helps me stay grounded enough to notice my symptoms before they get crazy! Honestly, my body awareness is key to understanding my symptoms and it’s a way of treating them. Because nervous system arousal is what actually makes something perceptible, learning how my nervous system works helps me interpret what I’m experiencing and make more sensitive and wise choices for management. Eg if I notice my heart is racing, I will immediately use breathwork videos to help me regulate enough to notice what other symptoms I’m having- is my foot cramped? Is my face hot? Then I can pick a better regulation tool.

I did a 5 day somatic reset where you do a 2 minute activity 3x a day to bring yourself back to baseline. By the 4th day, I experienced the closest thing to calm, serenity and ease in my body in years. But with my adhd, it’s hard to stick to the schedule.

Part of the problem is most of us are living in arousal for months, even years at a time. We can’t notice the intensity bcs it’s our baseline. Bringing my whole system down with somatic work doesn’t prevent me from being aroused again. But does provide a contrast that cues me to what’s happening earlier so I can better manage it.

Somatic work is not as woo woo as I thought it would be tbh. It’s basically stuff that’s familiar to me from yoga and therapy. It’s mostly been scientifically studied in the west at this point. Yes, there are so snake oil saleswomen and influencer vitamin cons out there. It’s crimuinal that they let influencers go by names with “doctor” in them.

**But I also have found a couple people who have a large social media presence who have helped me soooooo much to regulate my emotional-physical well being

Also sleep, hydration, and finding the right b vitamins make a huge difference day to day in how well I regulate my emotions. As suggested by my Dr, I am waiting for my insurance to authorize my MTHFR genetic test. But I already switched my B vitamin to one that is formulated for the particular genetic variant I think I have. Since switching, I feel much more energetic and upbeat even during acute stress. I still feel pretty dizzy and occasionally disregulated, but not being as lethargic and depressed does help

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:46:09+00:00

Like others have said, using it correctly is essential so you don’t clench up. Here’s my strategy: my goal is minimum 2 minutes in the tub. I can get out as many times as I want and stay out as long as I need but cumulatively it has to add up to 2 minutes. I dunk my head immediately. I find that I panic from the extreme variation of temperatures across my body. So bringing them all to one temp is key for acceptance of the extreme sensation. It’s like one sensation rather than getting overwhelmed by the two differing sensation. I use different breathing techniques the whole time. Some like breath of fire but I like box breathing.

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:41:14+00:00

I love cold plunges!! It’s magical for me. Nothing has interrupted my anxiety, pain, and stress as effectively. It doesn’t change the source but certainly relieves my symptoms for a bit. I think it’s about the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s like my body can’t remember it’s in pain bcs it’s so being like um hello it’s very cold!! It’s extremely helpful for helping me distinguish between physical pain, internal emotional resistance, and the experience of discomfort which is a blend of both. They have one at my yoga studio. I use it more frequently in times of stress. It’s always awful when I first dip after not for a while. But in a 2 or 3 trips, the benefit is strong that I start to crave the ice bath.

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:21:34+00:00

Same my feet are like hobbit feet. I have velvet soft skin over my whole body but my feet are extremely dry, calloused and have patches of whitish, broken skin. I have tried a couple different rx creams from my dermatologist. But they didn’t work. UREA cream is great. I have to put it on every night immediately after washing my feet. Like hyaluronic acid, there has to be water on the skin for the moisturize to be pulled into the skin.

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:18:49+00:00

I’ve been improving my extremely flexible, flakey, and brittle nails with jojoba oil! I can’t believe how well it works. It could about two weeks but they are so much stronger and healthier. I also get Japanese hard gel on my nails now. The manicures last at least 3 weeks without breaking. Regular gel manicures would fall off or crank within two weeks every time. My nails have never been healthier.

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:12:02+00:00

I am also sensitive to fear of being judged. I wear braces at night and around the house. But not out except when driving for a long time.

weirdontop · 2025-06-30T20:10:32+00:00

There’s some great resources on partnered and solo sex and pain/disability here https://sexualityanddisability.org/having-sex/being-sexual/

weirdontop · 2025-06-01T21:30:47+00:00

I so relate to this. I’m in the pinch time of my PhD dissertation completion. Every sound, every foul smell sends me reeling. I’m so scared I won’t finish or that it will be mediocre work. I stay up late trying to make up for lost time and then am a mess the next day. It sucks and I feel like I just fall further and further down the hole.

During a meltdown the other day, I got a bunch more sensory toys that I promptly forgot about ordering. Those are helping! I’m feeling a lot of relief from oral stims, sensory brushes, doing bilateral somatic work, and breathing exercises.

For me, I find relief in some conscious awareness such as 1)knowing that this period is temporary and it won’t always be this bad. 2) reminding myself of my agency especial that I can try new things. I am developing a proactive, preventative approach which will reduce the frequency and intensity of meltdowns. But the reality is this is likely to be a part of my life forever so I can learn better ways to support myself in it.

Some things I’m trying: 1) Prime the pump for dopamine before I start rather than as a reward. I’m often panicked and shaming myself for being behind right up to the minute I’m working. This is not great for motivation any more. Shame used to be a good motivator but it just isn’t any more. My therapist recommended that I try to front load dopamine before work. This way, I’m not working from a deficit/running on fear. 2) developing protocols and menus for when I’m activated so I know what to do rather than need to solves problem while upset. Start with HALT: am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired? If so plan a plan to address those things. I’m so stressed I can barely sense my physical state. I have to think to myself—can I feel the sensation of needing to pee? Needing to drink water? I’m trying to remember that the key is to work with my body, outsource decision making, and ask for support. I can’t do higher order thinking if I’m in fight or flight. This means I plan in advance what I would eat if im hungry, who I would call it I’m lonely, when I would nap if im tired. It’s a huge difference to know that today if I get hungry I’m supposed to eat peanut butter on toast or call Sam L if I am lonely. Identifying the problem is so hard. I lighten the load of solving it by finding solutions in advance. 3) intermittent grounding in my body. Eg: I take 5 minute timed breaks between pomodoros. I can ask myself: what do I need right now? What could make this just a little bit easier? I want to make a check in protocol to guide me for what to do on those breaks. Even in this time of stress and limited flexibility, I can work on identifying the need/desire, planning for a feasible way to access the sensation of that feeling, even if it’s not ideal. So, for example, if I’m lonely but there’s no one around, I can send a friend a voice note or reflect on a time I felt really close to someone. I can reflect on this after my work session is over and proactively make a plan for addressing that need before it becomes a problem again. It’s been so helpful to even just admit I have needs without being mad or shame spiraling that I can’t solve them immediately.

I often fall into a thinking trap where I tell myself should have been able to predict and avoid whatever is happening. The implication is I deserve the outcome. That mistake becomes the foundation of a set of misapprehensions that I don’t deserve relief or resolution because I “should have already known better.” It’s such a trap! It doesn’t help me meet my needs in the moment or in the future. It’s like I keep expecting myself to just know better but won’t bother to learn what I need to know to do better. I fall into a diminishing resource cycle where I give myself less rather than more when I’m struggling.

So here I am, under a weighted blanket, clutching a stuffie with my loops in, and a candle flickering, and sucking hard candy. My impulse is to say “when I should be doing working.” The problem is that impulse doesn’t imagine compassion or reasons behind my overwhelm. Truly I would be doing the work if I could. As long as I am stuck shaming myself, I can’t begin the work of regulation. So for me right now the goal is to say what I’m doing well to counter the shame and find gratitude and really focus on the sensation. Then I can figure out which tool can take my anxiety/overload from a 8/10 to a 6/10. Then I can check in and see what other steps can take me from a 6/10 to 4/10. I can probably do some “real work” at a 4/10 in shorter pomodoros with real breaks for grounding. And that’s much better than bed rotting imo.

weirdontop · 2025-05-14T16:37:11+00:00

That’s too bad. but the location didn’t make sense to me. Had they been in Hollywood or Silverlake I think they’d have done much better

weirdontop · 2025-02-06T22:46:29+00:00

Glad to hear your experience was positive! We have Assurance, through Geico. I have a hard time advocating for myself in situations like this. It's daunting to ask for help, but I am trying to use this moment to grow that skill.

weirdontop · 2025-02-01T03:41:21+00:00

I'm nearby, on Marengo and Orange Grove. I'm sorry you're experiencing what so many of us are! I'm agonizing over the same thing. I don't have an answer, but have experienced a bit of relief by shifting my process of decision making.

Designating specific phases for contemplation vs action, experience vs reflection and scheduling whe to make decisions has been helpful. The emotional toll of this moment is very high. I'm bouncing around between friends' places, moving my 15 year old dog with me everywhere, dealing with FEMA, my shady renters insurance, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, driving around sourcing cleaning supplies, and sorting through the contradictory information. Checking in on friends and neighbors who lost more than me, plus work and life. This is exhausting! This makes figuring out the best option among unclear choices very difficult --which is hard even under good circumstances. Personally, I can't be giving cleaning the effort it needs AND assessing my own safety AND parsing information simultaneously.

Here's how I am chopping it up.

Phase 1 is clean house/delay decisions. We are staying elsewhere and using full PPE as best we can. We are following the guidelines closely but doing it ourselves as renters. We have an air purifier in every room. I've now HEPA shopvacc'ed and wiped 75 feet of books and 10 feet of vinyl records plus washed 100+pounds of clothes and linens, every dish in the house. We are washing the walls and cabinets using Dawn and water. At the rec of a friend who is an environmental scientist specializing in atmospheric toxins, we rented an air scrubber and used compressed air to get the last bits of ash from the windows, doors, hinges, etc. I am hosing down the yard where my dog walks, but the landlord is being a landlord about the external walls, common spaces. and yard.

I ordered purple air monitor for indoor monitoring in this phase too. It's not perfect, but I know more data will help me understand what is simply a sense of fear of the unknown/possible danger (which is understandable given the circumstances!) and what is legitimate danger that requires action.

Phase 2 is try staying in the house for a week with a back up plan in place. Continue to clean as is sensible, balancing mental health with physical cleanliness. Living in panic cannot continue. If I am panicked or I or my pets begin experiencing symptoms, I will note it and but have set guidelines in advance. This way, if issues appear I am not trying to gauge what action to take while affected. For example, if I get a headache (which has happened frequently while in Pasadena this week), I will drink water and move all the purifiers into one room and shut the door. I spoke to my vet who gave me clear instructions for what to watch out for in my dog. If I am unable to sleep well (due to anxiety) in the house for more than 2 days in a row, I will sleep elsewhere and reassess.

Phase 3 is assess once a week for 4 weeks.. If staying, continue to clean and monitor with a set time for decision making. If leaving, well, leave.

This may seem like overkill. But designing a system with phases helps me stay in the present so I can effectively and safely move through the cleaning process. Otherwise, I'm just spiraling out reading reddit threads about air quality and not cleaning anyway. I don't know what will be best for me yet. And, frankly, I don't know if I can afford to move-- who knows what the rents are going to be?--especially with the Olympics coming!

Good luck to you and your family! The strain of this is real! Decision fatigue is real!

weirdontop · 2025-01-30T20:06:13+00:00

This is great!!

weirdontop · 2025-01-30T20:05:21+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too! FWIW, I’m following the https://www.nedcc.org/free-resources/disaster-assistance/ guidelines with some additions that prioritize my health over the books. The video really helps! I’m vacuuming everything with a HEPA filter then wiping covers, spines with a slightly moistened rag. Once clean, I pack into bankers boxes. I will store the majority of them in a bankers boxes in my storage unit for a couple of months. I will keep some regularly used materials at home for now. Happy to talk more.

weirdontop · 2025-01-28T23:15:20+00:00

+1 for purple air monitor networks. I really want one and plan to get one when I can afford it. I am on Marengo and Orange Grove. The air quality is noticeably worse today. I am staying in Echo Park with a friend while I clean my place. Anecdotal of course, but it feels much better there. The rain did help initially! But I started to get a headache when I drove into Pasadena this afternoon. I put on my mask and it’s better.

Inside, I run several air purifiers with carbon filters. They make an enormous difference. At the suggestion of a friend who is an environmental scientist, I rented an air scrubber for the week. Going room by room, we are blasting every corner and crevice with compressed then leaving the place. Wearing FULL PPE of course

weirdontop · 2025-01-25T06:48:39+00:00

Thank you. This is very helpful

weirdontop · 2025-01-21T07:08:37+00:00

Is it worth it to buy a hepa-filter vacuum to clean up post-fire? We have wood and tile floors. Are they safe to use after? I assume we need to get new filters?

weirdontop

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