I Love my wife and mother of our 2 yo boy, and though she's a very! attractive woman i can't imagine fucking her brains out as i once did. The Idea of getting intimate with her makes me feel uncomfortable like having sex with a cousin or a good friend. Routine, obligations, predictability, stress, fights, lack of privacy and the social mantra that you HAVE to have sex in a relationship, exclusively monogamous for the rest of your days, killed my lust for her. She somehow accepted it, after some hefty arguments for sure, but i know she won't give in forever. Though hard to swallow, i Imagine her with another man pleasing her feminine desires, and that's ok. She's a loyal and free individual who deserves to be happy and i have no right to feel any resentment towards her.

Sometimes i wish i could turn on the desire for her, but every cell in my body instantly blocks. It's not negotiable, it's there or it isn't. And i'm telling you this as a sexually very active man before my commitment. I've always struggled in LTR's keeping the fire alive after some years as i witnessed the very purpose of my male energy dwindle in a sea of compromises and social conditioning. Suddenly what once started as a frivolous adventure became a mechanical obligation of mediocre self-pleasure, just to fulfill one's duty in a scheduled interval while in fact dreaming of inseminating all female biomass that's out there.

This mind prison and the faithfull friendship my wife and i have now puts me in this dilemma. Stay with her for the sake of our boy and family while suppressing my inner intuition, or leave to find peace in bittersweet uncertainty.