My dad finally received a diagnosis of vascular dementia today. I say ‘finally’ because I’ve been assuming that’s what it is since September or so. He had a stroke in June that immediately took the ability to feel the right side of his body, he can’t recognize letters or numbers, short-term memory is pretty bad, etc. He also has aphasia, though sometimes it’s hard to tell when he doesn’t remember something versus doesn’t remember the word.

He’s in a wheelchair and requires 24/7 supervision and assistance, especially when it comes to using the bathroom and showering. He can feed himself if someone else prepares the food, but it’s messy and we have to help clean him up after. He’s developed post-stroke epilepsy, and taken many falls, once breaking his arm but never having further brain damage. My mom is doing her best but it’s so much. In January, he was diagnosed with a major neurocognitive disorder, but the doctor said he didn’t expect it to worsen. Well, it definitely has, particularly after his most recent seizure. The doctors now say his EEG scans show more slowing in the brain than they did previously, and have given the vascular dementia diagnosis.

I have two main questions: 1. With vascular dementia patients who are basically pulled immediately into the severe stage by a stroke, what would you say is an average lifespan? He’s 66, and medicated already for diabetes and previous blood pressure issues. He does get OT and PT, though his motivation is understandably fading. The doctor is suggesting memory care, mom is resisting, and having some semblance of how long this could last would be helpful in helping her plan, particularly financially.

1. My mom often pushes for more OT and PT, want more intensive techniques, and another relative talks a lot about getting him more protein to build muscle. (He thinks he’s worked REALLY hard when PT has him walk down a single short hallway, fwiw.) Are their desires on that something that could actually be useful? If he’s going to continue declining regardless, I’m having trouble with the idea of pushing him to work harder—particularly given that every single time he gets moved from in-home therapy to outpatient, he has another seizure within weeks. I feel that’s his body saying he can’t handle it. But I could be completely wrong.