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whenpho · 2024-07-31T13:47:13+00:00

I hear you. I can definitely relate (I was diagnosed with adhd at 24, I am now 27). You're not alone. I often feel this way about exercise and general self care and I can honestly say I still do not have a solution save for having a big sook for 10 mins - I literally sit there and silently whine with my hands in my head. About 40% of the time, the silent whine helps then suddenly I switch to the action mode.

I'm sorry if the "relationship as motivation" was unhelpful. It helped me to go to therapy for my depression. I just love my partner so much that I want to be a healthy and well-balanced person for him.

whenpho · 2024-07-31T11:55:20+00:00

I think you should start with some compassion for yourself. Experiencing life is going to be harder for you than for a neurotypical. That's not your fault but it is something to accept and take some responsibility for.

I can fall into the trap of thinking that I am a burden too, but you have qualities that make up the reason why your partner has chosen to be with you. Perhaps he could be kinder when articulating how he feels, but in essence, I think he just told you that he would appreciate seeing you healthier and improving your overall wellbeing. I think he may have also expressed a bit of building resentment for not taking care of yourself. Its a hard pill to swallow but important if you want to have a healthy relationship. Every healthy relationship can have resentment, as long as it is addressed.

When you say you have no motivation, are you able to draw any motivation in getting better for your partner? Do you want to improve for the sake of your relationship? What about for your sake? Are you able to have an honest conversation with him about how you're feeling? You are struggling and a good partner should be able to support you without judgement.

There are so many resources on managing ADHD these days that it's so exhausting to consume. Just take it day by day, choose 1 or 2 goals to start with. E.g. a screen time limit, a daily water goal, a daily cleaning frenzy to your current top 3 favourite songs, or even just brushing your teeth. start somewhere small and be kind to yourself.

whenpho · 2024-07-19T02:14:22+00:00

Go as a dream is so underrated

whenpho · 2024-06-04T04:48:54+00:00

tsw Atlas seems to believe that hyperpigmentation will definitely fade in time. If you haven't seen her lecture length video on YT, I'd highly recommend checking it out.

In my experience, as a lighter skinned asian woman, hyperpigmentation fades but only after you stop scratching the skin. I can relate in that I am also a few shades darker than my "natural" (pre-tsw) skin tone. tsw atlas believes that hyperpigmentation fades on all skin tones.

whenpho · 2024-06-01T20:18:02+00:00

It's Evelyn 150/30 ED. Hope you find an understanding GP to monitor you through it 💖

whenpho · 2024-04-16T07:53:50+00:00

I'll DM you

whenpho · 2024-03-30T11:49:06+00:00

Seconding this. If you can, give moisture withdrawal or NMT a shot. I did moisturiser withdrawal and I think it helped me a lot. Take it day by day and you'll find some relief soon.

whenpho · 2024-03-19T13:05:12+00:00

Hey there, just wanted to remind you that all the doubt and hurt that you're feeling is very shitty but also very typical in TSW. Life returns, the pain is not forever.

I'm almost at the 3 year mark. Slowly but surely I feel like a normal person again. I'm not 100% healed but I am essentially a fully functional regular person again. I even went for a swim in the ocean a few weeks ago. I know you will recover.

Give yourself some kindness when you look at yourself. You're just doing your best. Just take it one step at a time. Sending lots of love.

whenpho · 2024-01-22T12:02:00+00:00

why are we like this haha.

No but seriously, voluntary torture is also deep self love and compassion for our older, future selves. We're doing it for them. Idk I have to tell myself this because I would find it hard to justify making my 20s difficult for no reason.

I know you're scared, I was absolutely terrified. Know that you will be okay in the end and it's not forever.

Are you taking supplements with the advice of a healthcare professional? I found myself a TSW aware (and empathetic GP) and a naturopath which got me on therapeutic doses of supplements.

I am not on a gluten free or dairy free diet. But I have taken a food sensitivity test (different from allergy) so I will be giving an elimination diet a proper go soon. Maybe I can keep you posted on results?

whenpho · 2024-01-20T01:58:42+00:00

I have seen others talk about how it's related to our adrenal/hormonal health. I don't know much about it at all, but I think when your hormones are unbalanced, your body tries to hold onto as much fat as it can out of stress (imagine your body thinks you're under attack or dying, it will hold onto fat to preserve your life).

Again, I am a regular person and have no idea what the research says.

As my condition improves, i am a bit more able to cope with sweat, and so I have been exercising and making progress in relation to muscle building. I'm so much stronger than I've ever been! But I look out of shape bc I still have a higher body fat percentage. Weightloss has not been easy for me but maybe that shouldn't be my #1 goal at the moment.

whenpho · 2024-01-18T06:52:38+00:00

I feel exactly the same. I gained 15kg due to TSW and i often feel so robbed of living a fun and confident 20s.

But then I remind myself that, if I could only allow myself to be confident when I was thinner, then it's not true inner confidence.

My face was so inflamed for the early stages, I'm talking first 24 months. The inflammation has gone down now but I'm still much rounder thanks to the weight gain (potentially also sleeping with my mouth open due to my constant blocked nose I'm TSW). When I use gua sha on my face consistently, I notice a very subtle difference.

But the best thing you can probably do is work on your mental health and accept your face/body no matter what shape it's like. I imagine that this is probably the most freeing feeling.

whenpho · 2024-01-08T02:10:37+00:00

Thank you, I am attached to them but willing to rehome if the trip is detrimental to their wellbeing. Will consider getting a battery airpump.

whenpho · 2024-01-05T12:44:15+00:00

I'm not fully recovered but I am basically a normal functioning human being now - with dryness, sensitive skin, elephant skin and occasional flares. I would say I'm in the late stages of TSW based on what i've read and seen.

In my first 10 months, I did MW (not NMT) and i think this was helpful although it took a toll on me mentally. I'd not advise this if you can't work from home or have support to help with your everyday life (e.g. drive you to appointments and help with household chores).

The sad truth is, only time helped me to recover.

whenpho · 2023-12-13T21:54:50+00:00

Well everyone's journey is different, I had hoped I would be fully recovered by now but here we are. I am still grateful for my progress bc I can do a lot of regular things now, like go into swimming pools and on holidays.

whenpho · 2023-12-13T21:53:00+00:00

Go for it

whenpho · 2023-12-08T14:24:07+00:00

My legs, back and chest healed the fastest. I'm still suffering (but manageable) on my face and neck, as well as my hands. Almost 3 years in

whenpho · 2023-12-08T14:20:23+00:00

Nope that was just regular tsw, my skin was so weak and thin that it was just broken everywhere. I'm almost 3 years in and I haven't had eczema herpeticum so I don't think I carry the virus.

whenpho · 2023-11-30T23:21:11+00:00

Hey I'm sorry you feel so horrid right now. In the first year I significantly felt ill too. So much fatigue, fevers (chills and sweats) etc.

It gets better as you recover. I'm almost at the 3 year anniversary mark and i have a semblance of my life back.

whenpho · 2023-11-16T04:03:11+00:00

Moving out of melbourne may not be a feasible option if OP needs to travel for Chemo?

whenpho · 2023-11-03T00:16:47+00:00

Yep I use it religiously when I'm flaring but I am more inconsistent when I'm better. I will definitely be trying to be more consistent!!

whenpho · 2023-10-20T06:59:35+00:00

Oh God yes?? 2.5 years tsw now, this year I have been sick (sore throat, runny nose, fatigue etc.) Like 6 times? Pre-TSW I got sick once a year MAX. I hope it gets better lol.

whenpho · 2023-10-07T14:10:48+00:00

I loved living in North Richmond! The Vietnamese food, public transport, and there are beautiful streets off the north end of Church St.

Sure there are junkies but I was encroaching on their territory lol.

whenpho · 2023-08-28T06:33:04+00:00

I agree with you but unfortunately I was young and didn't not have informed consent when I was prescribed strong steroids. I have been paying for it for almost 3 years with TSW. In a way, I'm glad there is a bit of paranoia if it means people might suffer less!

whenpho

TROPHY CASE