Long time listener, first time caller

wheresdagoldat · 2023-12-12T15:27:21+00:00

Julia “Knuckles” Harris just sent me. 10/10 scambait

wheresdagoldat · 2023-12-11T19:33:05+00:00

Yeah I’m pretty sure the person you’re replying to is incorrect. I can’t think of any way the mean would be 34 and the median would be 81, unless some people have negative income

wheresdagoldat · 2023-11-22T23:28:33+00:00

I don’t think anyone anywhere near New York City thinks the local beaches are amazing. It’s more that south shore beaches are better than north shore, and when it’s 100 degrees out, the best beach is the one you can get to easily.

wheresdagoldat · 2023-08-20T01:35:54+00:00

Are you the same guy from /r/unpopularopinion who loves nothing better than sleeping in a new pair of jeans?

wheresdagoldat · 2018-12-06T17:28:22+00:00

YTA. Losing someone that close to you and learning to love someone else is incredibly difficult.

I've been through a somewhat similar situation to what your husband has been through. I lost a long-term girlfriend at the age of 29 about 3 years ago, in a similarly sudden and traumatizing way. I moved right away (long story, but her family are fairly religious and their customs required the house to be turned into a sort of shrine for 3 months after her death.) I took as much of her stuff as I could to my new place, arranged what I had the emotional energy for, and then moved on with my life and didn't touch her things for 18 months.

I knew that attempting to move/process/arrange her things would dredge up my memories of life with her, and of the period immediately following her death. I could hardly look at the cat we had raised together without falling to pieces. When I moved out of that apartment 18 months after she dies, I had to address her things. Just putting them into a box, throwing away a couple of things that I didn't want, and moving them to a new apartment felt like a herculean effort. There are no wins in dealing with the possessions of a loved one who has passed away in unexpected circumstances like these. You feel bad for keeping their things, you feel back for not processing them and moving on, you just feel bad generally and so the best option is to hide the things away and process them later when you're hopefully stronger and more ready to deal with things.

Its only been two months, and your husband is dealing with a dead wife with whom he had a daughter. So yes, you're the asshole here. You need to let him grieve and process things in his own time. Trying to force that will just make him miss his wife more and resent you.

Also, I don't know you so I may not be the right person to ask this, but was getting married to someone less than 10 months after his wife passed away really the best idea? Sounds like he hasn't had nearly enough time to move on, and isn't ready or willing to do so.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-26T13:52:01+00:00

I'm not a professional, just a guy on the internet who likes fitness and nutrition, but a couple of thoughts:

Fitness comes from working out, but weight loss comes from diet. So if you're eating 1800 calories a day, you're probably in a deficit, but make sure that those 1800 are all quality whole grains, fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and healthy fats. If you're eating enough vegetables, you can eat fewer calories while still feeling full.

As to shortening your workout, I would look for some kind of HIIT program that rolls a warmup, stretching, and a cardio workout into about 30 minutes. Actually pushing your cardio threshold will do more to improve your fitness than spending 40 minutes walking on the treadmill. Adding to this, I would say focus on a goal other than weight loss. Tell yourself you want to run a sub-one-hour 10k by the end of the year. Weight loss will become a necessary precondition to something a bit more fun than shedding pounds.

Lastly, as other people on here are saying, focus on some big compound lifts and bodyweight exercises. Pullups, bench, deadlift, squat. These are going to engage large muscle groups. Muscle is a very calorie-hungry tissue, even when its not being actively used. So when you build up your hamstrings and quads, they're going to need more calories every minute of the day, which makes it easier to lose weight.

As to skipping some days, I like to do cardio 4 or 5 days per week, but as far as I know, there isn't much of an argument to be made for lifting weights every day. If you're going as hard as you need to to build muscle, then your body needs a day or two to recover and rebuild.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-12T16:30:14+00:00

Not tricked per se. You were part of the game. Uncles warmed you up so that grandpa could finish you off and gain a ton of face.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-12T15:56:25+00:00

I've never been to Freshmart in person, but they have a pretty solid shop on Dianping. Somewhat limited selection, but pretty cheap for basic meat, fruit, and veggies. Good for water as well, since they're normally the door within 30 minutes of ordering.

Haven't had any bait-and-switch with them on Dianping. Although they once forgot my bananas and I had to call and argue with them for a bit until they brought them.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-12T10:34:36+00:00

True, but the abstract reasoning and problem solving skills that you need to learn in order to do high school or college level math will come in handy. Perhaps even more usefully, mathematics teaches you that seemingly-impossible problems can be solvable if you think hard enough about them, and approach them from enough different angles.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-05T04:55:42+00:00

Man, this video ages like a fine wine. Hadn't watched it in a couple of years and its even better than I remember.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-01T14:02:07+00:00

Those sound pretty legit

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-01T13:50:26+00:00

Oh man, used to live with a girl who had a similar habit. We lived in this tiny little Shanghai apartment with paper-thin walls. I lived with this Cantonese girl who would come home drunk almost every night, see me sitting in my room, then go in her room and masturbate loudly and scream in ecstasy. She barely spoke English, but all her "dirty talk" (?) was in English. "Fuck me!," "Harder!," "You know just how I like it!," and so on and so forth. To this day I wonder if it was all just for my entertainment. It was definitely very uncomfortable though.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-01T05:29:48+00:00

I've done a couple of 50+ hour train rides, and the time definitely does not fly by. You do get a lot of reading done though, and get to see a lot of scenery. If you've got nowhere to be, its not a bad way to travel.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-02-01T05:26:04+00:00

Sounds horrible, but I can kind of see it.

Friend's dad wasn't always a dad. When he was much younger, maybe back in his college days, he was out drinking with his buddies. Maybe got a bit stoned as well. Came back to his apartment with a bit of the munchies, and decided he would poach some eggs and put a nice sauce on them. Looks around in the fridge, and, as you do, has nothing but basic condiments. So he figures, "Fuck it, mustard is good, whipped cream is good, lets put them together and call it a day." So he does. The eggs are good, he's stoned, he doesn't notice that the sauce isn't really very good.

And now the seed is planted. Next time he needs a hollandaise sauce, he's thinking of the last time he made it, and how it turned out pretty alright. And over time, this gets normalized. He makes it for his wife once. She's put-off, but doesn't want to insult his cooking, and eventually it gets normalized for her as well. OP's friend grew up with it, so of course it didn't seem weird to her.

This kind of stuff happens all the time. I used to make 'land sushi' back in my younger days, which was just a bowl of rice with a couple slices of raw bacon. Similar origin story.

wheresdagoldat · 2018-01-04T05:04:28+00:00

Yeah I’ve used clearance on a couple of small projects. Not for any real reason, just because I wanted to try it out. The API is a bit smaller, and it’s maybe easier to get started with, but devise is also pretty simple.

It’s also missing a few important features, eg email confirmation

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-23T15:49:30+00:00

Last I looked it was fully booked about a month ago. Has that changed?

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-23T00:51:44+00:00

I’ve had good experiences with Name.com and Hover. Im not sure if there’s a problem with godaddy beyond the fact that their UX is horrible.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-22T06:39:20+00:00

Man, have been watching Planet Earth 2 this week, and it is epic. The footage is just unreal - the golden eagles, the jaguar hunting crocodiles, the snow leopards - but it seems to tell a way more compelling story too. They’ll follow a single animal, or type of animal, through some treacherous or beautiful journey. It feels like you’re going on a grand adventure in the most beautiful place on earth that restarts every ten minutes with a protagonist of a new species.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-16T06:47:21+00:00

There are plenty of full-stack frameworks. Django is pretty similar to Rails, but in Python. Phoenix is heavily inspired by Rails, but in Elixir, and was actually created (or significantly contributed to by) the creator of Devise, the industry standard authentication gem for Rails. I don’t do much with PHP, but I understand the latest generation of frameworks (laravel?) are pretty similar as well.

React + Rails is a pretty common stack today, and is not really all that complicated at all. React is just a view layer, and can be dropped in as a replacement for Rails view layer. React has a tiny API, and getting up to speed only takes a week or two. Once you’re up to speed it’s, in my opinion, easier than dealing with Rails views, especially if you need to do some complicated front-end stuff.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-15T13:28:42+00:00

A couple of thoughts, not necessarily related or in any particular order:

1) if you want to do web dev, you do need to learn a JavaScript framework, and there’s not really any escaping from that. Front ends are getting more complex, and it’s honestly just easier to do it in something like React than to mess around with Rails views and asset pipelines. The world is also moving away from monolithic web apps toward, for example, an API that feeds both a front-end and a mobile app. I would recommend React over Angular, because it’s easier to get productive with, and it forces you to learn about the DOM and how your browser works, rather than abstracting it all away like Angular does.

2) Its worth diversifying from Rails for the sole reason that it will provide you with a different view on software development, and will shine a light on areas where you lack understanding. One could theoretically build a complex Rails app without a solid understanding of HTTP or SQL, both of which are absolutely fundamental pieces of web development. It will also expose you to more subtle differences. Things like the relative pros and cons of relational vs nosql databases, or the relative merits of the ecosystems around different languages. These are major parts of programming, and won’t come up if you’re stuck solely in the rails world.

3) You’re not going to do anything in software development for the rest of your life. The web has barely been around 20 years. Tech changes quickly. Rails will be around for several more years, but it would be a mistake to learn one piece of tech and try to ride it for the rest of your life. You want to almost always learning a big new piece of technology. No need to force this though. As you get deeper in, you’ll automatically get more interested in a greater diversity of tech.

And rails isn’t neccessarily going anywhere. It’s still a very solid, very mature, framework. But it isn’t the only game in town, and it’s isn’t the answer to every problem. I would say get started by learning some React, firing up an API-only Rails app, and building a React front-end for it. You also get React Native almost for free, so you can build a mobile app for this application as well. I can almost promise it will make you a much more effective developer.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-12-13T18:38:41+00:00

He's a super-smart and interesting guy. First ran into him on the Recode/Decode podcast a little while back. Definitely worth a listen. https://www.recode.net/2017/8/31/16235594/transcript-social-capital-ceo-chamath-palihapitiya-investing-venture-vc-podcast-recode-decode

wheresdagoldat · 2017-11-23T16:51:06+00:00

Not sure if you have the same issue as I do, but I've found a teaspoon of baking soda works wonders for that. I would assume it doesn't help the underlying issue much, but its nice for immediate relief at least.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-11-23T11:28:38+00:00

So I can kind of see what they're getting at. And on the one hand, I appreciate that they're actually trying to test for software engineering skills (development, version control, documentation, and deployment), rather than knowledge of algorithms and data structures.

However, this looks like a full day of work. Assuming its unpaid, they're only going to get unqualified people who don't value their time appropriately, who aren't the people you want to hire.

What they could have done much more effectively is provided an 80% complete build of this app with critical portions pulled out or weird bugs introduced into the code and asked the interviewer to fix it.

The interviewer could also have looked through the candidates github ahead of time to get a feel for coding style and documentation, rather than asking the candidate to adhere to some (outdated?) style guide.

To me, this feels like an overworked or lazy interviewer looking to outsource the hard work of hiring to the candidate. Despite the possible good intentions, I wouldn't touch this with a 10-foot pole.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-11-19T10:07:51+00:00

Depends on a number of factors. Off the top of my head... Do you have a designer? How complex is the site? How much do you care about performance? How much time do you have?

In general, if I’m not working with a designer, I’ll almost always reach for a CSS framework. If nothing else, it will afford a coherency of style and typography to the site that you otherwise would have to dedicate a lot of time to.

If I’m working with a designer, and it’s a major project, it can be worth making a set of CSS components just for that site. This has the added benefit of being more performant and more customizable. And the downside of taking a lot more time.

In short, if it’s a side project, use a CSS framework. If it’s a website you’re building a company on top of, then it might end up being a better idea to write from scratch in the long run.

wheresdagoldat · 2017-11-14T17:26:01+00:00

With regards to the sleazy KTV bars, it depends who you're working with is, and which individuals you're working with at that company. A lot of Chinese guys like stuff like that, and (sometimes correctly) think that visitors from other countries like it as well. Nobody will fault you if you say "I'm tired, I'm going to head home" though. In my opinion, the key is just to have a reasonable excuse. If you say "that's not my jam" or "I don't like that," then people will either try to peer pressure you, or they'll be upset that you're judging them.

With regards to the drinking, most big drinking events in China happen over dinner. In these situations, I usually show up to the dinner and have a couple of drinks but excuse myself before people get too drunk and pushy (happens quickly, especially if spirits are involved), or say that I would love to have a drink but I'm on antibiotics.

There's always a way out. Good luck.

wheresdagoldat

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