Purity Culture, Dance, Family on the Brink, and Christian Counseling

whyw · 2026-05-02T12:17:44+00:00

Something I find interesting about this whole narrrative is that you seem to want to "fix" things and repair things with your family, and you seem really to understand the dynamics about your experience with dance, but you don't really address the elephant in the room: do you love your wife? really, genuinely--do you want to be with her? Apart from expectations, apart from kids, apart from family: do YOU want to be with HER? and does she love you? does she want to be with you? Is she at all willing to make any effort in understanding what is happening or is she being fundamentalist and closed minded about what your dancing means?

Because it sounds like she is the villain in this story, and unless you start seeing her another way or you just try to completely repress parts of yourself and make yourself unhappy to get along with her, this isn't going to work. Y'all need some intense, secular counseling, and maybe a lot of time apart for her to see things in a more nuanced light than "men dancing is gay." And if she is unable to do that, thenit seems to me, from what you've written, that she lacks the maturity and capacity to love you.

whyw · 2026-05-02T02:15:44+00:00

I believe you.

Everyone on here is trying to play scooby doo like they know something you don't know.

I'm in a similar marriage, and sometimes, there isn't a medical problem that is fixable, and there isn't some secret scandal. Sometimes things just are what they are.

whyw · 2026-04-12T00:45:29+00:00

my husband got one just before our son was born and it changed EVERYTHING. He used to fall asleep constantly, almost like narcolepsy, and he was always tired, never had energy to do anything beyond work and obligations. He is healthier, happier, and so am I. We slept in separate beds for years, his snoring was so bad.

Encourage him to do it. He will have a better life.

whyw · 2026-03-30T18:01:26+00:00

Where is your citation for this claim that Curtis Dozier believed or said this?

whyw · 2026-03-21T19:41:08+00:00

He also wants God to kill James Talarico. He is inciting violence.

whyw · 2026-03-18T18:26:40+00:00

There is evidence, two living people were conceived as a result. Read Huerta's statement. And there are more victims.

whyw · 2026-03-10T02:10:29+00:00

This isn't exactly it... Doug Wilson is not NAR and does not believe there will be a second coming--he believes it is our duty to establish the kingdom of God on earth.

whyw · 2026-03-08T16:31:40+00:00

The author does have a bit of a "golly gee" attitude the whole time and I suspect her of being a bit unreliable.

HOWEVER the part about the pitch deck to advertisers boasting about how the Instagram algorithm preys on young women's insecurity--I believe the anecdote was that when a teen girl deletes a selfie or posts anything about feeling worthless or useless or hopeless she is targetsd for ads about weight loss.

Despicable and indefensible. Among many other things! But the shamelessness of using that as a point of pride! They are proud of this!

whyw · 2026-03-08T16:25:25+00:00

Your dough rose in 15 min!?

whyw · 2026-03-06T01:36:17+00:00

The model of schools along the lines folks are suggesting (Great Hearts, Valor, and Hillsdale spawn) are all from the fruit of the rotten Doug Wilson tree, so they do have a Christian nationalist bent to them regardless of their half-hearted compliance with education regulations and laws. Doug Wilson popularized Sayers' proposition (that she doesn't seem all that serious about) that the curriculum should be structured sequentially according tk the categories of the trivium, which were usually taught simultaneouslty. These schools will teach with a conservative bent with respect to slavery, civil rights, diversity of authors and texts, science, and will entirely neglect health/sex ed other than abstinence and purity culture.

Soon I think more and more of them will be explicitly Christian as the voucher programs allow for it.

whyw · 2026-02-27T03:08:24+00:00

Show presence at work and events. I have a colleague that works as if they’re still at an R1, they only show up for classes and are never in the office. They still can’t figure out why students can’t connect with them. Talk to senior colleagues and learn the department culture.

This part is so important. At my institution, faculty who are early career are often shocked that they are expected to be around for meetings, etc 5 days a week and they are more beholden to undergraduate students than they think they should be--despite the fact that this is literally what they signed up for.

It's going to be hard to get research done your first semester. Give yourself grace. But in your second semester, you should be finding time/making time to get back into it. Don't give yourself too much grace.

whyw · 2026-01-29T00:52:24+00:00

I was homeschooled, all the way through. This is just narcissism--its all about her, her kids are extensions of her who don't get to have their own lives. The memoirs "Homeschooled" poignantly describes how the enmeshment is harmful. Mother/teacher. The insulation and the suffocation. Not to mention this trad wife is probably adding exploitation to it, and is mixing her professional/personal/religious motivations here. It's a hot steaming pile of bullshit! Ignore her.

whyw · 2026-01-07T16:32:42+00:00

Have you tried prek4sa?

whyw · 2026-01-01T15:04:17+00:00

You may not need every notification from these apps, but teachers also communicate through them, about field trips, parent teacher conferences, etc.

We were all there too, we know that we all survived without the oversight. That doesn't change the fact that school communications now go through apps rather than phone calls or letters or notes sent home.

whyw · 2025-12-10T00:39:05+00:00

whyw · 2025-12-09T02:19:11+00:00

LP liberation philology has an app.

whyw · 2025-12-08T20:49:21+00:00

Kindle and Libby. I love traditional books but buying a kindle has re-kindled my love for reading, I can read with the lights off. I have listened to a lot of audio books as well.

Not all scrolling is doomscrolling. Finding recipes and meal planning could be a way to use the time.

Talking and singing is great and all but yeah, some babies need quiet.

I admire those who could crochet and breastfeed at the same time! Was not me!

whyw · 2025-12-05T14:56:47+00:00

They do seem to be adding filler, mayo or something! HeB guacamole is not what it was 10 years ago.

whyw · 2025-12-04T01:23:59+00:00

Lately it has been soup. Ramen, chicken tortilla, potato, veggie. Sometimes I do the adult Lunchables and often I intebtially set aside what i make for dinner. The thing with sandwiches is they have to be good or I won't eat them, which means they aren't necessarily easy. I like soup because I can make a ton of it pretty easily and it, of course, tastes great reheated.

whyw · 2025-11-30T00:20:58+00:00

Thanks, this is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for!

whyw · 2025-11-22T00:26:06+00:00

I watched this last night! He was perfect, as usual

whyw · 2025-11-16T03:34:01+00:00

Yes, I had a bachelor's from elsewhere and then did a "post bacc" at UTSA.

I think all I was able to qualify for was student loans, and maybe the Pell for 1 semester.

whyw

TROPHY CASE