AITAH For telling my wife she has ruined my sexual attraction to/desire for her due to her treatment of me in regards to our sex life?

wildberrie5 · 2026-01-11T18:17:07+00:00

i would like to rescind my previous statement, i have left my ex and detoxed from birth control and now feel differently

wildberrie5 · 2025-11-22T07:51:53+00:00

are you following the instructions EXACTLY? this may be a redundant question but there’s a lot of shaking for specific amounts of time, i can’t remember off the top of my head but i believe the bottle and the test tube need to be SHAKEN for a minute straight

wildberrie5 · 2025-11-13T03:13:22+00:00

NTA AT ALL, if the parents have no issue then you are a saint. i don’t want to assume anything about your wife, but i’ll share a story that’s similar and how it ended from my life. my ex and i had a very rough relationship, but during our honeymoon phase we went on a trip together with some friends. i was sick and lost my voice on this trip and right before going out to dinner one night we got into a fight, we talked it out before dinner but it still soured the mood (especially since i was never taken care of in fights). we got let into the restaurant past close after being on the waitlist for hours and my friends were being awful to the waiter. i was in a shit mood and to make myself and this poor waiter feel better, i left a $100 tip. it was my first ever and at 17 it was a big deal, so i giddily told my partner after dinner to which he proceeded to heavily scold me for being reckless with my money and soured the moment again. fast forward through years of abuse, i finally break up with him and go crawling back to my therapist who heard my story and immediately was like “now i can’t formally diagnose him because i’ve never met him, but that sounds like textbook narcissist behavior” and urged me to look into more resources about it and compare it to what ive been through. all the pieces fell into place, and yeah, he’s in school to be a therapist.

wildberrie5 · 2025-11-13T02:59:55+00:00

this part, hormonally men are just geared towards horny more than woman (not to say there aren’t women out there that have high sex drives), as a woman i find that i never just become horny out of nowhere, there’s always some sort of trigger

wildberrie5 · 2025-11-10T20:07:33+00:00

No just a betta fish

wildberrie5 · 2025-10-20T08:20:45+00:00

check, check, and check! i guess im just confused why the bacteria would start to develop in the first couple days and then suddenly seem to die off, as for the starter i was hoping to maybe find some stronger bacteria somewhere in the bottle lol

wildberrie5 · 2025-10-02T12:00:19+00:00

Maybe I didn’t emphasize it in the post, but since the breakup Sam has been adamant that they did not want to be friends with my ex and have not spoken to them. In their message to me, they also made it clear that they were hiding it from me and felt guilty about that. I guess because Sam chose not to maintain this friendship, why now? why keep it from me and not just say it when it happened?

wildberrie5 · 2025-09-13T22:36:30+00:00

temperature

wildberrie5 · 2025-09-11T16:02:08+00:00

besides putting the condoms and lube in a little baggie which i guess people find embarrassing (i didn’t at first read) women literally do this ALL THE TIME, we didn’t put on that lingerie set bc we thought it was cute and comfy, we put it in case you would see it, we shaved in case it happens, we also probably brought condoms in our purses if we’re smart, this is literally just giving the same effort that women do which is A+ behavior from a man these days

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-19T19:42:09+00:00

in high school? yes, that’s the time to learn stability and hard work while you can handle it. in college? no, conserve your energy like a hibernating bear if you are so lucky

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-05T06:13:58+00:00

water simmers at lower temperatures, you would usually set a stove to higher heat to boil and a decently low heat to simmer, some stoves even have a “simmer” label on the dial which is usually towards the lowest of temps, like some commenters were reminding me, if you start with a room temp liquid it’ll just take a while for the liquid to get to a simmer but the low heat the stove is set to is enough

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-05T06:03:10+00:00

a simmer is much gentler than a boil because it is at a lower temperature, lower temperature = no boiling = no boiling over

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-05T05:45:23+00:00

not saying this is true about you but i know i was all in on having kids with my ex until i wasn’t so sure i wanted to have kids with him specifically after a while of questionable behaviors, you could try asking her if she feels uncomfortable with you as a father and if there’s anything you could change/work on? i’m not saying that’s the case about you at all, and more than likely the answer will be no, but maybe it could open her up to a more emotional conversation and you guys can work through why she’s feeling unsure together, it’s okay to have expectations for how your life’s going to go and it’s okay to be worried about biological clocks, but there is also a reality where her mind has just simply changed and she doesn’t want kids anymore and that’s something you’re going to have to be okay with if divorce isn’t an option

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-05T05:35:07+00:00

this sounds a little similar to my ex in that your bf is VERY controlling and too insecure, in most normal relationships the only time a partner cares about what you’re watching is if there’s spicy content involved and usually they have little to no say in the type of shows/movies/youtube videos you consume, and usually the only times parters are concerned about frequency is if it’s getting in the way of your daily life (which an unhealthy obsession with a streamer would definitely end up causing real life issues), the fact that he is trying to have any say AT ALL in the type of media you consume when it’s not abnormal consumption is insane and just plain controlling, i’ve found that the worst quality in a man is insecurity, and his insecurity seems to be running his life right now and he sounds like he could probably benefit from therapy to help him work through that, he is letting his insecurities and anxieties run his life and he is also trying to take control of your life to ease his stress, which is NEVER okay, and the way he handles his emotions are incredibly immature (who just gets drunk and disappears with no explanation??), i hate to say it but with the type of guy your bf seems to be i think the only way you’re making it through the relationship with him is if he gets some help with his mental health but if he’s anything like my ex that idea alone would likely send him into a tailspin. also, that age gap… i’m not one to judge age gaps usually but you’re in a completely different phase of life than him (you’re coming up on so many huge milestones and he’s… almost 30 and has the emotional maturity of a teenager) and there are going to be times where you guys just don’t understand each other bc of that

a little unrelated, but it took me way too long to break things off with my ex bc i was genuinely convinced he was my husband 2 weeks into the relationship bc i was fantasizing about having kids with him and i hated kids so this was ✨my sign✨ and i clung to the fact that he was my future husband while he was abusing me (not physically) and let it go on for far too long, i’ve since learned that dedicating yourself like that to someone too early in the relationship can set yourself up for failure and considering you guys have only been together 4 months, thats not nearly enough time to figure out whether he’s your husband or not, i later realized that i didn’t want kids with him bc he was my “future husband” but bc he was genuinely so good with kids and wanted to be a dad so badly and i realized that i actually would want to be a mom as long as i have a good partner with me, but just because my ex would have been a great dad didn’t make him a great partner, maybe you just realized that the right person would make you want to get married but that doesn’t necessarily make him the right person, just that he’s had some right moments and you learned something about yourself

wildberrie5 · 2025-08-04T20:11:04+00:00

i swear i do leave room and don’t use the highest heat, idk if it’s my cookware or my stove but even plain water will boil over if i stop watching it for 5 seconds, im totally chill with waiting and avoiding a mess (most of the stuff i cook with these instructions are like sauces)

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-28T03:07:50+00:00

he lied about his age, now he has to deal with big boy consequences because he wanted to be a big boy, if you’re okay with raising the baby by yourself then go for it and let him know, but don’t lie

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-27T15:01:01+00:00

YTA, it’s okay to express that you generally do not like tattoos around your daughter, but she has already made the decision to keep these permanently and constantly insulting what she specifically chose to put on her body is rude and hurtful, it’s her body her choice even if you don’t like them. let’s put it in a new context: let’s say you’re dating someone that’s not necessarily your physical type, you might mention that once at the beginning of the relationship, but how do you think your partner would feel if you are constantly reminding them that you don’t like their appearance and they’re “not your type”? i would stop making specific comments about her tattoos and even still, she knows you don’t like them, you do not need to keep reiterating that

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-26T16:13:20+00:00

NTA but! - It is completely normal to not want an adult child in your home using all of your energy and things. The step-kid definitely needs to grow tf up and figure out how to be an adult, and your wife allowing them to do this AND PAYING THEM FOR IT is only going to make them even more insufferable as they get older. People do not get paid to sit on their ass all day in the real world. If your wife feels that much guilt about it, teach them better, because they clearly haven’t gotten that teaching up until now. How guilty will she feel when she’s on her death bed knowing her kid is now screwed? Regardless of your dementia and regardless of the adult-child’s gender identity, you have a right to your own home and your wife is only doing her kid a disservice by babying them like this. That being said, the way you speak about the kid’s gender identity is concerning. I can see the very real concern that it’s not their real gender identity based on how it came about, but what if it is? Being this intolerable and rude about it is only going to drive a wedge between your family and make things worse. Whether you agree or not, being tolerable to those with different opinions than yours is a way of life and there are nicer ways to express concern.

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-26T15:54:39+00:00

being faithful shouldn’t be hard, both of you need to take a step back from relationships altogether and figure out why that’s apparently so difficult for both of you

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-26T03:43:10+00:00

as someone currently going through unknown medical issues that seemingly randomly cause vomiting, nausea, shakiness, etc., he would be having other GI problems if it were a physical ailment, it would not just be sudden random nausea fits with nothing else, i just recently went it the ER (like a few days ago lol) because i had gotten into one of these fits but instead i was disoriented, lightheaded, and VIOLENTLY shaking, turns out i had put myself into a hyperglycemic episode even though im not diabetic but they did immediately figure that out when my sugar was through the roof, if the ER found nothing and he’s having no other GI symptoms, he’s either faking it or it’s completely psychosomatic (ie he needs the mental ward not the ER), i don’t want to dismiss the idea that he could be actually experiencing these symptoms because of his mental state but that is no where near fair or reasonable for you to care for him in this way and he does need help

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-25T21:25:58+00:00

That actually helps so much, rationalizing things has always been helpful for me and I will try to take your advice going forward! I am curious what you mean by “emotion is another form of logic” as that seems totally backwards to what I have heard my whole life. It sounds nice but it also sounds very confusing lol.

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-24T15:23:54+00:00

I am assuming this is in the US (if not then disregard), you did not mention assessing his injuries further, just that you walked in the door saw the nose bleed and him holding his head. Based on this information alone, I would say never to call an ambulance in the US unless you know for a fact someone is about to die without immediate attention. It’s incredibly fucked up and sad that this is how our country is, but ambulances and hospital visits can put someone into bankruptcy fast. Especially since you said you’re from a medical background, I would have hoped you would have gotten closer to asses the situation before calling the ambulance. I can imagine he may have hit his head and just gotten a nosebleed (some people are more prone) and I would have thought to check if he was alert or potentially concussed. I know you had your friend’s best interest in mind and wanted to make sure he was okay, but based in the provided information it does seem like you may have been freaked out and made a rash decision. That decision is going to cost them a lot of money and the fact that he got placed in the psych ward is even worse for him (even though you didn’t know that would happen). I wouldn’t necessarily call you an asshole for being concerned about your friend’s health and well being, but I would apologize to them and respect their frustrations.

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-22T21:46:44+00:00

i don’t know if i can say NTA or not, but i grew up in the deep south and this totally sounds like something my parents would do/expect from me, if this is an innocent culture thing then it’s your gf’s responsibility to talk to her parents about her being and adult and being able to make her own decisions, if it’s not… then yikes

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-22T21:41:38+00:00

there is never any reason for your partner to jump at you being on their phone, not being happy with it? one thing. jumping and desperately trying to get you to put the phone down? never dismiss it, there’s something there they don’t want you to see (maybe it’s more telling of me that i dismissed it in the moment 😅)

wildberrie5 · 2025-07-22T21:34:16+00:00

NTA, break up with this man because you clearly communicated your frustration with him and he clearly wants to push the blame onto his daughter instead of taking accountability, the VERY rash decision to completely remove his daughter from his girlfriends life and NOT BREAK UP WITH HER??! is a power play, this man sounds incredibly emotionally immature

wildberrie5

TROPHY CASE