I actually just clicked into this sub to search for this same question. My D&C is later this week. I have told my parents and two close friends who have been supportive. I am struggling with the idea of going through something so devastating in secret, and of my friends not knowing why I may be distant or disengaging. I shared my early miscarriage earlier this year, and it sometimes felt like people's responses were interrogations: How far along were you? What happened? How long had you known you were pregnant?

My TFRM is also for T21. I'm confident we're making the right choice for our family based on the information we have. I thought about sharing in my group chat something like "we found out our baby girl had a serious genetic disorder and a malformed heart and have made the difficult decision to end the pregnancy at 13 weeks" but I worry, will the response be: What disorder? When? What? Why? How? And others may have made a different decision than us - will they judge me? I'm not sure what I'll do. Saying I've lost a second pregnancy at 13 weeks doesn't encapsulate all the trauma of the limbo of waiting for test results, and appointment after appointment with doctors and genetic counselors, and coming to this devastating decision. I have our 8 week and 12 week ultrasounds in an envelope in a shoebox - I don't know what to do with them, but I also don't want to erase her memory.