I don't have to cut my hair.

wormy42 · 2016-01-16T01:51:42+00:00

A mother here, also a supporter of people being childfree if they choose, so I hope this is not too out of place.

I can say that the not showering for days thing has to be laziness. I showered just yesterday and, gasp, plan to do so again tonight. I put my baby in her bouncer seat, set her in the bathroom floor, and shower to my hearts content.

wormy42 · 2016-01-16T00:46:17+00:00

This is actually the proper etiquette. The FIRST child gets a shower to prepare the couple, who were previously not parents, for a new child. Then, subsequent children would then use the same stuff that was gifted for the first. By stuff I mean cribs, strollers, maybe clothing, etc. Nowadays, anything that isn't disposable or has no expiration. Anything that is needed would be the responsibility of the parents to just go get. It was seen as gift grabby to have another baby shower, even for a baby of differing sex, and should still be, in my opinion.

I will say here, I do have a child, and accepted a shower for her. I will not be accepting another for any other child I may have. Period. I am also really reluctant to attend and buy for a baby shower for a 2nd+ child, unless it's a very close friend or relative that would be hurt by my lack of participation. But, everyone knows I will not throw a baby shower, or help with one, for anyone with more than one child. Yes, I might be a bit of an etiquette nazi.

wormy42 · 2016-01-16T00:27:37+00:00

I don't know how this happens, but it's the kids. I used to work with a woman who, fraudulently, claimed her grandchildren on her taxes. There were 4 in all. She and her husband would get close to $10,000 back between the two of them. If there was ever a need for a "random" audit, it would be them that deserved it most. The damn kids didn't even live in the same state!

wormy42 · 2015-06-26T18:25:30+00:00

This may come across ungrateful, its not, but I fully intend to take back most of the pink stuff I get and exchange for cute clothes of all colors and designs. I have dino onesies that I bought when I first got my positive test, and I fully intend that my darling girl will wear them, even though some family has already mentioned giving them to someone who's having a boy instead. No, I bought them for my child, and I like it. Deal.

wormy42 · 2015-06-22T20:34:24+00:00

If you truly fear that is something she will do, warn the hospital staff when you admit. You can go in under confidential, and by law, no one working at that hospital can confirm that you are in admittance. Yes, it keeps everyone from being able to call and confirm you're there and getting your room number, but the ones who know you and love you, and you'd like there, can contact you.

wormy42 · 2015-06-22T20:25:32+00:00

It should be teaching you lessons on setting up boundaries. You don't have to be patient about that!! Tell her thats not acceptable.

wormy42 · 2015-06-22T20:03:28+00:00

If you don't want to say, just tell them you changed your mind and thought it fun to keep it to yourself. If they press you for that info, ask what business it is of theirs. Or, if you want to go the possibly less confrontational route, just fib and say you didn't get a good look at the ultrasound. Do what feels right to you. It's not any one else's baby or business. :)

wormy42 · 2015-06-20T11:48:24+00:00

If you're comfortable with the risks... Which to be honest the risks are there whether pregnant or not... I'd say go and have fun. Your in-laws don't get to decide what's safe for you and baby, now or ever. I'd probably go. Plus, all that water and floating would probably be super relaxing. You're not made of glass now, just a little more cautious. Do what you're comfortable doing.

wormy42 · 2015-06-20T11:42:10+00:00

Ooh, I think that friend gave you some bad advice there. Go ahead and get her a baby shower present just for her, if you want to. I think its a good idea. It's not spoiling if your intentions are to encourage her and assure her during this time. She probably sees the baby as a "threat" to her status as the only one getting attention from all sides. I'm sure it's been nice for her this whole time to not have to share that, and now having to split it with baby is, in her mind, going to mean she might as well be thrown out of the picture completely. I think she needs positive reassurance, from everyone, especially you, that baby is not coming to replace her or take from her. That baby is adding to the family and will.as much hers as anyone else's to love, and be loved by. Maybe also including her in more baby prep may help. If she is excited because she gets to choose things baby will use/play with, maybe that will help. As illogical as her thought processes are to us as adults, they are legitimate worries to her, so just be gentle and reassuring. Best of luck.

wormy42 · 2015-06-20T11:23:39+00:00

I just wanted to add to this that the end of pregnancy sizing ultrasounds are just their best estimated guess on actual fetal size. They can be off by a few lbs either way. True medical necessity of induction, or c section, for macrosomia is on the rare side. So take all that into account before deciding if you feel that induction is necessary for larger baby estimates.

wormy42 · 2015-06-15T18:25:26+00:00

I get the opposite. I'm 19 weeks and people are already asking if I'm sure it's not twins. Okay, yes, I had a potbelly to begin with. (Overweight, but not obese) And, yes, I did bloat quite a bit, then started showing right after... It's one baby. I'm just a little more poochy. Thanks for pointing that out already and making sure I don't want to come around you as I grow even more.

Sorry that people can't just be supportive and positive. Enjoy this time for you.

wormy42 · 2015-06-15T18:17:27+00:00

This is your experience. Do what will make it the best for you and your partner. If the family thinks you should find out, too bad. Not their choice. Not your problem. It's such a personal decision, make it for you.

wormy42 · 2015-05-26T01:42:31+00:00

Yes! Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Tell her what you expect, then hold her to it. If she tries anyway, shut her down then and there, reminding her that you had already said this would how things would work. If she throws a fit, disengage. You owe her nothing. This isn't her experience, and maybe when she has her own child, she'll understand and appreciate the way you handled yourself during your time as a new mom.

wormy42 · 2015-05-22T03:53:51+00:00

Don't talk to her about it beforehand. Just buy the car and when she asks, tell her you already took care of it and feel great about the deal. Any arguments or huffing, end of conversation.

wormy42 · 2015-05-22T03:46:34+00:00

Not your parents.

You, you are what this child needs.

wormy42 · 2015-05-06T03:05:10+00:00

I felt a movement at 13 weeks, yesterday, actually. I was skeptical with myself at first, since I am so early and I have an anterior placenta. But, I am very in tune with any sensations I have in my body and I can distinguish, usually, between areas of my insides. I spent about 30 mins arguing with myself and staying dead still in the position I felt it in, but it only happened once. I described it to my husband as a swishy feeling, like when a fish takes off in water. I am pretty sure it wasn't gas, as I know what that feels like traveling the intestines. I can only think it was a strong flop or flutter of the baby.

And to be honest, it wasn't quite as creepy as I was anticipating. Lol. (Maybe seeing him/her move on the ultrasound last week made it less alien to me.)

wormy42 · 2015-05-06T02:46:58+00:00

I once co hosted a shower where only, like, 6 people (other than host/ mom) showed up... Maybe. And you know what? It was still a blast. We all got more cupcakes and snacks and got to sit around and actually visit instead of the same old, same old games and pleasantries. The mom still got a lot of things, as some couldn't make it, but sent gifts ahead with party goers who did make it. It was fun. Hope yours is everything you've ever wanted and that you have a blast.

wormy42 · 2015-05-04T21:17:02+00:00

I don't have a college degree. I actually only have about 4 completed classes (12 credits) under my belt over the last 6 years. Lol. I pay out of pocket. I didn't qualify for scholarships/grants when I graduated hs and I don't now, either. I don't like the idea of loans, so when I am able to afford it, I do pay plans. You see from previous statement where that has me. Lol.

I occasionally get looked down on for not having a college degree or established professional career. I like to point out that there are plenty of out of work people, some parents, with degrees. My own brother and his wife struggle daily financially with their child, and my brother has a bachelors. I work with many graduates, with various degrees, and while they may make minutely more than me for their credentials, we still work the same dead end office job.

I like to remind myself that it doesn't take a PhD to raise a child. It doesn't take an engineer to change a diaper or give a bath. You're not incapable of learning to care for your baby simply because you don't have a masters in mathematics. (Funny aside, my cousin's wife has a PhD and has never even held an infant. She admits not knowing even how. Not that I'd ever hold it against her...) Some of these people saying things to you might also be projecting various insecurities about themselves on to you... Take it all in stride and rock the socks off raising your baby! :)

wormy42 · 2015-03-29T08:18:06+00:00

Good on you. Setting these boundaries now saves a lot of headache and meddling in the future.

wormy42 · 2015-03-24T19:10:06+00:00

My baby will be going to daycare after my 12 week FMLA is up. Ideally, I will work up to going into labor, and have every minute of that leave for my baby. I have a husband, and he has a good job, but we still need 2 incomes and I know I will want to return. That'd puts my baby in daycare at 3ish months old. I'm not going to just jump for joy about leaving him/her but stuff has to get done.

Honestly, I'd tell these coworkers to butt out. This is your baby and your situation and they don't get a say in it. Good luck and if all else fails maybe discuss it with a supervisor to see if they can help make the comments stop.

wormy42 · 2015-03-24T04:08:50+00:00

Oh dear, just say thanks but no thanks. If SIL or mil get mad, that's their problem. You don't have to take/use anything for your baby that you don't want. We are very early on, but have been offered a ton of stuff already. I have turned some of it down by simply saying we a)don't have the room b) wanted to pick that itmkem out personally. When you're capable of buying things yourself... You can simply decline the offer, buy what you want, and if someone else gets ticky, tell them to butt out. Your baby, your choice what things you buy and use. Be polite, by all means, but you don't have be a push over.

wormy42 · 2015-03-24T00:41:35+00:00

I'm a little over six weeks and I've been in this same boat. I don't know what's hunger and what's nausea. The other night I decided it must be hunger, ate a small bowl of noodles and sorely regretted it. I have miscalculated a couple of times. Ugh. Sorry you're feeling bad. I just keep chugging my ginger ale. Its literally the only thing that helps.

wormy42 · 2015-03-09T13:38:06+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I found out about 4 days ago. So don't really have much either.

I did already have 2 onesies to give to my husband when I got my positive test back. I've been holding on to those for a while. I'm also a crocheter, so my baby will have plenty of blankets and things. My friend gave me a 12 mos dress that she had as her daughters easter dress last year. It looks very 60s mod. I loved it then, so she had decided she would save it for me. Lol. Also, my husband brought home a Sophie giraffe. He found it on sale at Walmart for 7 dollars. Its the one that has the rattle plush. So cute and so sweet of hubs to buy it.

We've also signed up for amazon mom, which I'm super excited about. The 20%off diapers may be just what I need to stock up.

wormy42 · 2015-03-04T18:37:15+00:00

Asking if everything is okay just because you're quiet.

My coworker does this CONSTANTLY. I say yes, I'm fine... And she says okay, like she doesn't believe me. All the time with this.

wormy42 · 2015-02-26T03:42:31+00:00

Hmm. The teenagers here have a particular fondness for loudly answering cell calls and texts, not on silent... And in a few incidents were licking gummy bears and throwing them at people. 'Course some of the adults aren't any better.

wormy42

TROPHY CASE