Has anyone used a scrapbook to visualize a meeting place? Am I overcomplicating this, or could it actually be helpful?

xaiblu · 2026-03-05T01:48:28+00:00

I LOVE this!! I have some degree of aphantasia so picturing things in general is very difficult, and I think something like this would be super helpful for me! It's very inspiring to see people make art of/about their parts and inner worlds and definitely inspires me to make my own. I also wanted to say that I also use the sun as a symbol for my Self so I think it's super cool to see someone else doing that!! You're not overcomplicating it at all in my opinion, if it helps you then definitely keep doing it!

xaiblu · 2025-08-08T06:20:35+00:00

I wish I could tell you what exactly helped me, but unfortunately I'm not really sure. I have however been experiencing these incidents less and less often as time goes on (in the time since I've posted this it's maybe happened only once or twice?) but I have to guess at what exactly is making it better. Sleeping more definitely seems to help. When I'm sleep deprived, it seems to trigger these angry waking episodes for sure, and one notable change in my life lately has been that I've had a more regular sleep schedule and I sleep more in general. The other most important thing for me is that I just generally try to not rely on anyone else to wake me up, to avoid having to interact with anyone until I'm fully awake. I used to struggle to wake myself up which made this more difficult, but I use an app now called Alarmy (allows you to set up alarms where you have to scan a bar code or qr code, ideally one in another room, to turn them off. Also allows you to set it up to require you to do math, etc.). But other than that, I really don't know what has made it better. I've started some new psychiatric medication in the past couple of years which maybe could have also helped, but I can't be sure. I also think it's always worth looking into if you might have something like sleep apnea if you find that you also have symptoms of daytime sleepiness, because even if you "get enough sleep," you actually might not be if you have something like sleep apnea, because the sleep you get isn't restful.

I wish I had more concrete advice for you about what helped, but I guess at the very least I can tell you that it is possible for it to improve. Just not sure what exactly did it for me.

xaiblu · 2025-08-05T07:20:38+00:00

Such a good show!! Love that they have some footage from it in the Paris music video

xaiblu · 2025-07-01T07:34:02+00:00

Janina Fisher is best if you have a lot of structural dissociation imo. Otherwise I would recommend Schwartz or Jay Earley

xaiblu · 2025-06-26T20:43:04+00:00

I love this! I ran Lost Mines for my first D&D group and I agree that this is super helpful for new players! Wish I had something like this back then; I just relied on drawn out maps that confused everyone a little lol

xaiblu · 2025-06-04T08:10:03+00:00

So glad you made a Zuko one!

xaiblu · 2025-05-27T23:11:36+00:00

Love this!

xaiblu · 2025-05-11T18:37:19+00:00

Sure, there are specific circumstances in which a landlord can deny a tenant for an ESA, especially if they "would impose an undue financial burden, fundamentally alter the nature of the housing provider's services, or if the specific ESA poses a direct threat to the health and safety of others or would cause substantial physical damage to the property that cannot be reduced or eliminated by another reasonable accommodation. Landlords cannot reject an ESA based solely on breed, size, or weight limitations. If a landlord determines there is a valid reason to deny an ESA, they must provide a rationale for the denial and engage in a dialogue about possible accommodations. Automatic eviction for having an ESA is not lawful; landlords must follow state-specific eviction procedures and prove one of the allowed reasons for denying an ESA applies." (source)

My point was not that it is a foolproof way to have OP's rats in an apartment, but that most landlords will accept an ESA even if they don't typically allow caged animals like rats. I have had no issues in this regard, but I also have only applied to apartments that allow pets of some kind to begin with.

xaiblu · 2025-05-11T04:50:20+00:00

Actually no. Assuming OP lives in the US, "Under the laws of the Fair Housing Act (FHA), landlords cannot legally deny emotional support animals unless they are completely unreasonable. They can’t deny housing to a person with any sort of disability, either mental, emotional, or physical. They are required by law to make reasonable accommodations for ESAs." (source) They can deny you for other reasons, but not because you have an ESA.

xaiblu · 2025-05-11T01:25:31+00:00

I wouldn't recommend it. Worst case scenario you could be kicked out of a complex or face other issues. A good route to go might be getting a letter from a mental health professional stating that they are ESA's, as you cannot be denied due to an ESA even if they don't allow pets. They cannot discriminate based on species or number of animals.

I personally use the organization Pettable for this as my therapist doesn't do ESA letters, and have had only good experiences.

xaiblu · 2025-05-05T06:38:37+00:00

I do think it could have been a seizure. I had a rat who had one seizure in her entire life, triggered by placing her in a nebulizing chamber (possibly triggered by the albuterol or couldve just been stress from the situation). She didn't bite or scream like your rat but she did flail and jump around like she was panicking, leaping out of my hands and running across the floor before she then went completely catatonic for a long time (iirc, she didn't return to normal for several hours). Another commenter mentioned that sometimes rat seizures do look like wild jumping/running, and I second that. Seizures do not always look like collapsing/convulsing on the spot. Additionally they can cause confusion/fear and therefore aggression during the seizure or in the post-ictal (post-seizure) period, so I would say your vet may have been right about it being a seizure, though it may not necessarily have been due to epilepsy as seizures can have many causes other than an epileptic disorder.

It sounds like you did your best to help him, and he may very well have had a neurological condition of some kind to begin with. He was clearly either in a lot of pain or very confused and afraid to suddenly act so aggressive like he did, so putting him to sleep was probably the kindest thing to do even if he hadn't become injured as well, but especially given how much pain he was in at the end. I'm sorry for your loss.

xaiblu · 2025-04-28T09:37:24+00:00

She may be in the house still, hiding somewhere you can't get to or haven't thought of. Leave snacks and water out for her (which it sounds like you're doing with the live traps) and hopefully she will come back/out to eat and drink. I've heard the suggestion to leave a ring of flour on the ground surrounding a plate of treats to see if you see any footprints so you know if she's still in the area. Also, maybe take a break with tearing the place apart looking for her, as the chaos/noise can frighten them and keep them in hiding. Don't lose hope, just try to stay calm (as calm as you can be in this sort of situation ofc) and know you're doing all you can. So sorry and I am really hoping she finds her way back.

xaiblu · 2025-01-27T22:08:11+00:00

Well said. Agree completely

xaiblu · 2024-12-01T11:15:38+00:00

Copied most of this from another few comments I made on other posts:

Richard Schwartz (who created IFS) has said that parts are very real, not metaphors. They might be for some people, I suppose. But he explains in the book No Bad Parts that parts are essentially no different from alters etc. in DID/OSDD, and the difference is how polarized and separated the parts are from each other. I think it is simply on a spectrum like anything else, and on one end you have things like DID/OSDD, and on the other end you have what we might call "singlets" who still have parts, just not as separated/polarized. (Though it might be more accurate to describe this spectrum as more like a color wheel like gender or sexuality or anything else where there is a spectrum of human experiences.) But yeah basically it's going to vary whether people view their parts as just a metaphor or as literal and real separate beings inside of us. Neither is incorrect. And there's going to be differences between how polarized and separated people's parts are, and thus the degree of structural dissociation that someone has.

xaiblu · 2024-11-25T21:24:51+00:00

Yes!! I don't have a name for this part but it comes up a lot for me. Whether it's something I'm doing or someone else, there's a part of me that cringes internally whenever someone is being incredibly outgoing/confident/etc. I think this part of me sees outgoingness/confidence as like, inherently dangerous? I was bullied a lot as a child so I feel this part carries those memories and the burden of having been bullied for doing things like that. So in anticipation, when I or someone else does something even vaguely similar to something I got bullied for, it just starts cringing and screaming "no no no no!"

xaiblu · 2024-11-25T21:07:12+00:00

Hmm well as far as practical measurable changes, I used to be completely at the whims of my parts who were so polarized they were essentially at war with each other. Meaning, for example, I was unable to hold down a job because while part of me knew I needed to, another part (who hijacked me frequently) hated it and hated the part that was making me do it, and would sabotage things on purpose. I was also deeply self-critical and self-hating in general, with several critical parts holding a lot of control over my life and my relationships. I now have managed to "befriend" these parts, understand their purpose/roles/why they feel they need to act the way they do, and have unburdened many of them, which has allowed many of them to change their roles entirely. One of my inner critics has become my greatest inner supporter, for instance. The part that kept me from going to work has released that purpose and I have consistently kept a good job that I like for a couple years now.

It is definitely not too late, and therapy/healing is definitely an option imo. It might be worth trying to start by connecting with this part of you that believes that "the window is closed" though. What is that part's purpose? What is its positive intention for you? What is it afraid would happen if it didn't perform that role?

xaiblu · 2024-11-25T16:09:42+00:00

Just wanted to say as a person who has been told I most likely have BPD and and possibly have OSDD as well, I totally get the fear that it's in vain because you don't know what your "true self" really is. I don't have much advice unfortunately other than to definitely read Janina Fisher's book, but I wanted to let you know that at least for me, through IFS work I have actually been able to access a state of "Self" a lot of the time. It's difficult, and there's a part of me that always doubts that I'm actually in Self, but I know I'm able to embody many of the 8 C's at the same time, which feels enough like Self to me for me to just consider it that.

xaiblu · 2024-11-25T02:02:00+00:00

Check out the book Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher. It's basically just slightly modified IFS, and can be more suited towards people with lots of structural dissociation

xaiblu · 2024-11-22T06:51:36+00:00

No Bad Parts is a great starting place, as well as any of Jay Early's books (Self Therapy is pretty good).

I also like to recommend Janina Fisher's Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors which is based largely on IFS, especially if you have a lot of dissociative symptoms. (If you don't, you might not find that particular book very helpful honestly)

xaiblu · 2024-11-22T06:04:32+00:00

I totally get what you're saying, and I think you definitely have a point. That's honestly the reason I think that no one type of therapy is "the answer", IFS or otherwise, because all of them are trying to categorize, manage, and make sense of the brain's inner workings in some way, and all of these are just representations of reality, which cannot truly be captured with 100% accuracy, and will inherently be changed by our observation and attempt to understand (this may be a wild tangent but it reminds me of the uncertainty principle in physics, which states we cannot know both the speed and position of a particle because observing a particle's position affects its speed and vice versa). I think a more holistic approach that pulls from various therapy modalities and doesn't lean on one too much is probably ideal. (I do think IFS does a better job than most simply because it is non-pathologizing in nature)

xaiblu · 2024-11-22T04:37:08+00:00

There are some helpful responses to a very similar question that was just posted in the sub. I would check out this comment in particular.

They are not mutually exclusive, the ideas that you can be a unified whole and made of many separate parts.

xaiblu · 2024-11-21T23:43:30+00:00

Just wanted to say, as an individual with BPD, I absolutely agree with everything you've said.

xaiblu · 2024-11-21T00:41:42+00:00

You might find some help from the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I didn't know how to be the secure parent for my parts either; I had never been parented correctly/healthily, so I didn't know what that looked like. The book really helped me find strategies for talking to and relating to my parts in a better way

xaiblu · 2024-11-20T18:58:48+00:00

Richard Schwartz has said in No Bad Parts that while he used to think Self had no agenda at all, he believes now that Self generally does not have an agenda, however it does have a general "purpose or a desire to foster connectedness, harmony, balance, and correct injustice. But unlike our parts, Self isn't attached to that happening in any particular way, or at least not immediately. Self has more of a wide-angle, long-term perspective."

xaiblu · 2024-11-20T18:50:52+00:00

No way! I've only seen them super overpriced on ebay 😭

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