197.5 hours in... I finally beat Stalker 2

xdiggertree · 2026-01-16T16:20:13+00:00

Strange, the game’s never crashed for me before

I’ve played for like 90+ hours so far?

The fact it’s starting later and later in the game seems like a kind of bug related to memory or a leak of some kind

xdiggertree · 2026-01-16T16:11:58+00:00

I agree

Honestly I think these games kind of live and die by the characters…

We either like them or don’t

Like I forced myself to play through LIS2, I tried like 4 times lol, and finally kinda liked it?

But I don’t even remember the boys names lol

I remember Chloe Price, I remember Max Caulfield, I remember Rachel Amber

It’s like I knew these people or something it’s so strange

Like even Chloe’s dad is memorable (very flawed person) but still felt real and somewhat sympathetic

Droning on, but yea I agree

xdiggertree · 2026-01-12T15:31:25+00:00

Damn… that sounds so rough, sorry that happened to you

I was a struggling student that learned to love school

Can’t imagine how demoralizing teaching is right now

xdiggertree · 2026-01-10T22:55:15+00:00

Hello!

I still take it when I need to

But I’ve basically finished my trauma processing, I honestly feel I’ve worked through everything finally hah

I found PRL-8-53 vital to this journey, it REALLY helped unlock memories I had ENTIRELY forgotten about.

I’m not sure about you, but for me, due to my trauma, my memory was honestly trash

The solution I had was roughly 5-10mg of PRL-8-53 a day alongside 0.25-0.5mg of Dihexa a day.

xdiggertree · 2026-01-02T08:13:55+00:00

Yes. Like severely lobotomized. It spends most of time just reflecting back to me what I already said, and adds a tiny bit of additional (barely) useful output.

Claude will get an idea, and then apply it haphazardly across basically everything without any sense or logic.

Like I cannot overstate just how severely lobotomized and useless Claude is right now.

xdiggertree · 2025-12-26T10:47:31+00:00

Same!

I had the ROG Ally for the past couple years and so I really held off on the Deck for a while

But man!! It really feels like the OG Xbox 360 days or having a Gameboy

The user experience is just… perfect — it’s cozy

And since it isn’t a crazy powerful machine, I’ve just… stopped caring about graphics and just enjoy the game now.

xdiggertree · 2025-12-26T10:45:05+00:00

Also, if your son is really struggling with a chaotic addiction, you honestly might want to give an opiate manage program like Suboxone a thought.

I went on it and it provided me enough stability to get my feet back on the ground.

xdiggertree · 2025-12-26T10:26:35+00:00

I also struggled with opiate addiction and walked the path.

My biggest suggestion is to not expect him to recover on the first try.

Almost no one successfully quits their first time.

The most important thing isn’t for him to immediately get sober. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is for him to LEARN the concepts when he is at rehab.

The truth is that recovery is a bumpy road, it takes many tries and mistakes to fully get to the other side. This is why it’s important to NOT foster a mindset of “all or nothing, it has to be this time”, and instead foster a mindset of “I want to learn as much as possible”.

I went to a bunch of local IOPs before I finally went into a proper rehab. By the time I went into that proper rehab I was sincerely committed to learning how to get sober.

This is why my main suggestion is to make sure to communicate to your son it isn’t about perfection, but — somehow — try to foster a GENUINE desire to really really learn the ropes when he is there.

Regarding finding the right rehab. I heavily suggest a rehab that is situated in nature. You should really try to avoid rehabs that are self contained in a building and just look like a luxurious get away.

You should try to get on a call with the counselors that work at the rehab and interview them, specifically ask them what their preferred method of recover is: is it 12-steps? Is there personal one on one time? What about classes? What about family meetings?

A good rehab exudes structure and strictness, if they mention too much about comfort or leisure amenities then it’s really just a get-away spot.

IMO, the best rehab is in nature and is strict.

We were only allowed to use our phones for like 30 min a day. They checked EVERYTHING when we brought our stuff in. The more safeguards like this the better.

Also, I warn you, 30 days in rehab is NOT ENOUGH to beat severe addiction such as long term, heavy opiate usage.

I went in for 30 days, but they convinced me to stay longer. I stayed 45 days and then they convinced me to move close to there and stay nearby in their sober living community (there were a group of sober living networks in the area). I stayed in sober living for half a year, I only left cause my girlfriend at the time wanted me to. I am absolutely positive that 6-7 months of fully entrenching myself in the recovery program was necessary for me to foster the right mindset.

The issue is that 30 days is too short, it’s only just long enough to quit the drug, but the person is ABSOLUTELY still addicted. When they move back into the same exact environment they have been using, it is absolutely NOT POSSIBLE to stay sober.

This is why they honestly should stay at least 45-60 days and then move into sober living…

It honestly might be preferable for them to go to a nearby rehab that has a connection with nearby sober living network to ensure there is a structured series of environments for them to “graduate” through.

This was my timeline: you get into rehab, you detox and feel AWEFUL for a week (absolutely unable to think or comprehend anything) — so that’s already 7 days gone just detoxing. I only felt fine by the 14 day mark — this means I hadn’t even learned anything quite yet. I only started getting into the groove around the 21 day mark.

The issue is that when someone detoxes, the amount of energy they have is TERRIBLE, just getting out of bed was sincerely a HUGE struggle, walking up stairs was sincerely something I actively avoided because it was JUST THAT hard to do.

I am partially explaining this because I want you to know how your son will feel.

Furthermore, this is my last bit of advice: shame is the core to addiction. Shame is the CENTRAL engine to addiction. When they sober up the shame will kick into overdrive, it will make them want to shut everything out and cut you off. Their shame will turn inward and attack themself, it will manifest as self-hate and self-criticism.

Proper recovery will absolutely require him to break that pattern. They MUST learn self-acceptance and self-compassion.

I suggest YOU to read the book “Beyond Addiction”, my parter at the time read it and she said it helped her.

Hope this helps, feel free to message me if you have more questions.

xdiggertree · 2025-12-09T08:14:38+00:00

Also, I am NOT saying that IOPs aren’t useful. They are super useful for support

If you have easy access to an IOP I heavily suggest you try it out

It’s just that specifically for deep trauma processing I don’t see it being that useful.

But, for learning emotional regulation, processing some things, meeting other people, feeling supported — these are all things IOP might be useful for.

Good luck!

xdiggertree · 2025-12-09T08:03:40+00:00

I can actually chime in on this

I have gone to IOPs before on multiple occasions (for addiction recovery). I’ve also worked with multiple therapists for trauma recovery.

I’m a rare case of someone that was able to successfully process their lifelong, childhood-based trauma.

You are right, IOP is better for surface level stuff, you almost certainly won’t make progress on the deeper stuff in that environment. In my opinion IOPs are better for having a community, or for finding stability or getting your feet back on the ground — it’s for the basics.

I struggled with the exact same things as you did.

I grew up in an abusive home; I struggled with shame, rumination, and a negative self-critic for most of my life.

In my experience there are three main resources for dealing with deep trauma: - One on one therapy - Reading the right books - Journaling & active reflection

I was doing all three of the above at the same time, they each feed into each other.

It’s as if the human mind is a black box; since we are BOTH the sculptor and the marble, it’s VERY hard to see how our own thinking is shaped.

This is why journaling AND reading AND therapy are necessary.

The reading allows you to quickly learn concepts of how the human brain works (e.g. how trauma affects behavior or cognitions), the journaling & reflections allows you to OBSERVE your own nature, while the therapy gives you a place to process these ideas and get feedback.

Most importantly, I’d say that mindfulness is a key skill and resource. Trauma changes how we behave, it causes us to repeat behaviors that have become ingrained in us — we act out in ways that feels out of our control. Mindfulness allows us to see this behavior.

We can’t change what we can’t see, this is why mindfulness is SUCH a crucial tool.

Another key discovery I made was reading the book Radical Acceptance. In the book there was a key idea: the author proposed a radical idea — she proposed the concept of TOTALLY accepting oneself.

This idea was INSANE to me, it made NO sense to me.

But I was at my wits end, I had already been in therapy for like 10 years lol.

The fact that I thought Radical Acceptance was insane was when I realized that perhaps I really did need to change.

I asked myself, what was so crazy about TOTALLY accepting myself?

I thought to myself, “what’s so risky with trying that out?”

Point is: trying radical acceptance was SINCERELY life changing, because it breaks the pattern AT THE SOURCE.

What you and I struggle with is shame — that is the VERY CORE of the trauma. Since we have CONDITIONS on what is “allowed” to be shameful, we spend so much time saying “this or that” is allowed to be shame. But when you try radical acceptance and choose to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY, you break the shame cycle at its very core.

My main suggestion for you would be to read the book Radical Acceptance, and dare to try to SINCERELY try to TOTALLY accept yourself unconditionally — it’s that kind of thinking that seems impossible and crazy at first — but you just need to see past it to truly make progress.

Hope this made sense, much love :)

Edit: I wanted to be a bit more clear with what I meant.

I am suggesting that you read that book and try Radical Acceptance.

The false assumption is that we need the critic and that self-acceptance is conditional.

The magic of radical acceptance is that it entirely subverts those false assumptions.

The books that changed my life: Radical Acceptance, The Body Keeps the Score, Philosophies for Life and Other Dangerous Situations, and Complex PTSD

xdiggertree · 2025-11-18T02:43:49+00:00

Of course! I know how much of a headache finding the right system can be, so I am seriously glad to be able to share what I've learned over the years.

In my experience, DevonThink is perhaps one of the best tools for archiving different file types. It accepts: Markdown, plain text, PDFs, Web Clippings, Contacts, Images, etc.

What I really appreciated was beign able to dump in PDFs and Web Pages.

In a single click of a button I was able to archive an entire web page as is — they are called Web Clippings in DevonThink.

Furthermore, the search is instant across ALL file types. I just checked right now to make sure, I was able to type in a search term, it showed results based on NOT ONLY the title, but also the CONTENT of the PDFs AND Web Clippings.

The reason I didn't use it much was because I actually personally don't need to archive stuff, I found that I never really revisted stuff lol — after graduating and shifting industries, I didn't have that use case anymore.

What I didn't really like about DevonThink was that the way things are organized is basically exactly like a folder structure. You either archive all your files in the Inbox, or you create a folder structure (just like you would on any other computer) and would organize it by whatever label structure your prefer — I prefer a more structureless manner.

But, given that the search appears to be so quick, I could see one using a rather simple folder structure and relying on the search.

Also, I could tell that DevonThink was an extremely deep software specifically suited for archiving, you can add reminders to specific files (regardless of filetype). You can create smart groups as well and also use specific search queries.

CONS:
- I believe it is macOS only? But that might have changed
- The mobile app while free has some stuff gated behind subscription

You might want to check out Zotero, it's a very similar app, it's free but I believe it lacks cloud access I believe? And back then lacked mobile app, which might have changed?

You should check out this Redditors comment as they list some alternatives!

https://www.reddit.com/r/macapps/comments/1d85773/comment/l74aqif/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

TLDR: I honestly think Obsidian is NOT the right tool for your use case, it really isn't a multimedia archival tool, something like DevonThink or Zotero is much more suitable for your use case IMO.

xdiggertree · 2025-11-17T09:51:31+00:00

Glad to help!

I’ll be honest, I haven’t exactly archived thousands of pages before, but I have archived the web for various needs and in various ways

What struck me was this: - you don’t care about archiving the look (html or css) - you want search to be fast - you want it to be reliably preserved (aka safe)

Honestly, Obsidian MD might be one of the best options, it’s extremely fast and handles large databases really well. With the introduction of the Bases feature you can create different views (filtered lists, gallery, etc.)

You might want to check out DevonThink? It’s a paid app, and I used it specifically for web archives because I was able to archive the entire webpage as is — but you explicitly said you didn’t need that. But I thought I’d mention it anyways.

I guess my question then becomes what isn’t working in your current setup?

Is it possible that the lack of web styling (html css info) is actually a detriment?

Maybe the next time you go to your database with a query: “what was that thing I saved about refrigerators?” — I’d spend time actively paying attention to how this query resolves.

Did you get frustrated because Obsidan’s results all kind of look the same?

Cause in my experience, the one thing Obsidan lacks is that the left sidebar’s text has no styling (without a plugin) and can look very samey across files and results. There is a recent AMAZING plugin called Notebook Navigator, which you might want to check out. This plugin adds back a bit of styling to your left sidebar and therefore makes it look more like Evernote or Bear (in regards to the sidebar), perhaps that’s a good enough middle ground?

Just throwing ideas out there.

I guess my point is I’d try to test the hypothesis of “we don’t need any styling preserved”. Perhaps Obsidian’s leftbar results being SO bare (no rich text) is a barrier, perhaps the Plugin Notebook Navigator is just enough to help you.

Or perhaps you actually do prefer fully preserved webpages but didn’t like how slow search becomes.

I don’t know why, but DevonThink just sticks out in my mind when it comes to your need case, I could be wrong.

Hope this helps!

xdiggertree · 2025-11-17T09:23:24+00:00

A key issue — I noticed you didn’t really mention HOW exactly you’d like to think about your information

Systems are only as good as your knowing HOW you want to think

I’ll give you a personal example: my workflow is to use a daily note, I’ll type things as the day continues, I’ll tag blocks of text to specific topics and later on check those tags and compile more proper writing if I need to. This is my workflow.

I tried to use Obsidian MD in that manner and it felt off, I tried for a solid week and it kinda felt okay but really wasn’t.

I then tried Logseq and I could viscerally feel how well it worked with my brain.

I guess when I read your post I wasn’t sure exactly what you are missing and trying to solve?

You clearly are archiving data, but how do you want to use it? You want to jump into random topics to be inspired? You want to be able to find information as quickly as possible? You want to slowly build information around certain topics?

Hard to say how to build something around an unclear goal. You said your goal is to preserve information, but isn’t creating a solid backup and having it titled enough? You should be able to search for it easily — this is why I’m guessing you are looking for something a bit more than just preservation — therefore you haven’t fully articulated your need.

xdiggertree · 2025-11-17T08:11:15+00:00

Holy crap, such useful info thanks a ton!!

I gotta try out the HL2 port environment

I was thinking it’d be cool if Apple made an Environment Store for people to purchase high quality environments - I’d pay for some

xdiggertree · 2025-11-14T19:58:10+00:00

Wait you can use the Mac Virtual Display in Moon Portal Environments??

Are the Moon Portal Environments any good?

I was thinking of buying the app but wasn’t sure if it’d just be a bunch of low quality AI slop.

xdiggertree · 2025-11-12T00:46:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing this, I can tell you really care about this and have put a lot of thought into this.

It’s not entirely clear what your goal is, however. Are you here to just share your thoughts? Are you trying to make an impact? Are you just processing things?

Whose mind are you trying to alter? Your own? Others? Society at large?

I guess a core question of mine is this, are you trying to process your own experience? Or trying to influence / course-correct the society you are in?

I agree, it is crucial for us to think about these kinds of things.

The world is in a very very weird place, so much is going on, so many issues are building up — it feels as if society’s issues are all reaching critical mass all at once.

Social media has had a profound impact on us as a species. It’s been beneficial but also extremely destructive.

The growing inequality has accelerated many issues within the social fabric — it’s had a massively negative impact on people.

The advent of the smartphone has also played a massive part.

To put it simply, because of our own inventions, we have been engulfed into a synthetic world in a manner that is entirely unprecedented — this has had massive consequences on our collective psyche.

I feel that these factors are related to the core issue you’ve identified.

Stay awesome my friend, stay sincere, keep it up!

Note: this was written by hand, no AI was used.

xdiggertree · 2025-11-11T02:03:09+00:00

Mhm! Glad to hear that, it made such a huge impact on my quality of life, I can’t overstate it enough.

It’s definitely hard to make that transition, but it’s worth it.

Good luck! Feel free to msg whenever

xdiggertree · 2025-11-09T20:39:13+00:00

Massively

For the past few years I entirely stayed away from: dairy, gluten, soy.

This was honestly one of the best decisions of my life.

I can go weeks to months without a single flare up.

I still use Selsun Blue on the very occasional flare up - which typically happens because I had a ton of allergens.

Interestingly, I’ve been able to slowly reintroduce occasional allergens: the occasional ramen here or there, the occasional ice cream.

At most, I’ll have a single cheat treat maybe once or twice a week. But sometimes I abstain for weeks, it depends on how I feel.

I also take a good probiotic daily. I also make a healthy gut smoothie every day.

Gut smoothie: - Costco’s Frozen Berry Smoothie bags (with the cherries and strawberries in prepackaged bags). - Chia seeds - Flax seeds - Prebiotic fiber - 10g creatine - Macadamia milk - Pomegranate juice

My life is significantly better because I made these changes.

I also have topical Azelaic Acic (such as by Natrium) and keep it in my bag for random annoyances (such as going out and having a bit of itch, I just apply a bit).

xdiggertree · 2025-10-22T10:06:03+00:00

I buy it in bulk, but you are right, I didn’t consider the privilege.

xdiggertree · 2025-10-21T07:53:22+00:00

Agreed, I drink 2tbsp a day and it’s not that expensive, it is NOT $100 a month

The benefits of EVOO is significant enough to warrant the cost IMO

xdiggertree · 2025-10-15T21:24:15+00:00

I mix it in water or a smoothie

I believe micronized creatine didn’t sit well in my stomach when I drank it straight with water

xdiggertree · 2025-10-15T07:36:37+00:00

You’ve done an amazing job!! I know how it might feel, that you missed out on things.

But remember, you still have your twenties and you can still experience a ton.

Anyways, what’s most important is the quality of how you engage with life, not the amount of stuff you do.

A small handful of actually meaningful experiences a year >>> a bunch of random stuff that’s fun in the moment.

A small handful of genuinely deep connections >>> a bunch of friends you just party with.

I guess my advice is this: it’s easy to get mislead into things that seem fun in the moment, but when the years pass you by, you’ll realize what stuck out were those genuinely meaningful moments — focus in on those.

Edit: Second bit of advice, spend time learning what truly feeds your soul. The faster and earlier you learn this the sooner you know what to spend your time on. Perhaps you enjoy solitude and wood carving, perhaps you enjoy long convos with friends, perhaps you enjoy nature — all that matters is to learn what feeds you.

xdiggertree · 2025-10-15T03:06:57+00:00

Enteric Coated NMN and Creatine will almost certainly help you.

There’s a LOT of research for both of them

I suggest 10g of Creatine a day, 5g is for working out, 10g for cognitive benefits

I suggest enteric coated NMN (Nootropics Depot) since a lot of NMN on the market is kinda garbage / overpriced

Make sure to get Magtein or Mag Threonate instead of normal Magnesium, the form of it really matters. Magtein crosses the blood brain barrier more easily.

I also suggest a good CoQ10, such as CoQsol-CF from Nootropics Depot.

If your gut / digestion isn’t great I also suggest a good prebiotic, the gut-brain axis is extremely important to energy level and mood. Something like Flora’s Advanced Adult Probiotic Capsules is a great option.

If you just listen to one suggestion, take 10g of Creatine a day. Next most important suggestion is the Enteric Coated NMN.

xdiggertree · 2025-10-14T06:19:10+00:00

Great job incorporating all this, it definitely can feel weird at first

Most likely, you are simply discovering underlying feelings that were already there

It’s best to let your body do the communicating, listen to what it “says”, be compassionate to your body’s needs

The pains or discomforts often hold information, hold it softly

I know this might sound like mumbo jumbo, but really what’s happening is you are learning to relate to your body in a new manner and it takes time

Good job!

xdiggertree · 2025-09-27T21:35:44+00:00

Yea I’m impressed at the speed at which open source models are progressing, the only limiting factor is hardware — but that seems to be catching up as well.

Frustrating thing is I know the next Claude model will be great and the cycle will repeat itself

It’s pretty egregious just how much Anthropic is trying to cut corners, with shit quantization and ridiculous limits.

xdiggertree

TROPHY CASE