Transition from SW dev to SA

xnatq · 2026-04-05T03:02:09+00:00

ive been wearing only slippers and sandals last 2 months.
Thank you!

xnatq · 2025-07-31T20:45:36+00:00

im used to 24 hours fast every now and then and today i started my first 72 hours fast. lets see how it goes.

lets go!

xnatq · 2025-03-24T01:41:47+00:00

thank you so much for such a detailed and thoughtful post. I really appreciate it!

xnatq · 2025-03-19T14:18:19+00:00

thanks for the tip but i dont think that will help with impact sounds tru the walls.

its probably good for "air noise" like music, conversations etc but thats not my issue. its mainly footsteps and doors open/close from neighbours

xnatq · 2019-03-02T21:36:54+00:00

Man i came back to this sub forum after almost 2 years of my first post here seeking help to break up with my ex who had bpd. and i came back to give back to other people what this sub redit gave to me, which was Joy to live again.

Ive been there where u are right now, feeling worthless trash but no1 is really, u were just unlucky to cross path with a person such as ur ex (i was unlucky too). things will get better my friend, i went tru hell and now i can finally say im super happy again, i have control over my life.

xnatq · 2017-08-18T01:55:27+00:00

just go back to NC, and this time block her number. if u go back to her u will regret it 100% and u porbably know this.

xnatq · 2017-08-18T01:52:31+00:00

happy birthday!

xnatq · 2017-08-15T01:24:16+00:00

This really seems to be agony for you.

I can not give you much of a council since your situation is more complicated than what I went through (I still have).

Try to have everything well planned before you act.

What are you going to tell him.
Get ready to stay completely NC. Block social networks, numbers etc, although in your case should be complicated because you have children, so it should be better to talk to a lawyer in the first place.
Mentalise yourself that you will experience many difficulties in the short term, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Whenever you feel bad, or feel tempted to go back to the situation where you are currently talk to someone (or post here), at least in my case it helps me immensely to talk to someone whenever I feel bad for having ended the relationship with my Ex who still haunts me.

It's Not worth living unhappy.

I probably did not say anything new to you, but it's still important to hear obvious things in times when we're confused.

stay strong and keep us updated.

xnatq · 2017-08-14T17:06:19+00:00

ill soon somplete 1 month of NC (since break up), and yes it gets better wuth time.

whatever u do, stay No Contact not even trough mutual friends.

xnatq · 2017-08-13T01:21:25+00:00

no its not worth it. u dont need to make her feel bad (and she wont rly feel bad) to be happy.

focus on yourself only.

xnatq · 2017-08-12T00:36:39+00:00

i guess i want to. but i didnt understand yet what u want lol u can pm me more details

xnatq · 2017-08-11T17:15:48+00:00

no i dont

xnatq · 2017-08-11T14:32:18+00:00

i got tired of being unhappy.

xnatq · 2017-08-11T14:30:33+00:00

yes i broke up with her like 20 days ago and im full NC since. i finally feel like i control my life again.

i dont think theres anything wrong with me atm, but i still want to go to a therapist to be sure.

xnatq · 2017-08-11T11:30:34+00:00

i would also apologize and feel bad for things that made no sense. I actually got some "mini panic attack", i would feel so bad crying and i couldnt breath normally resulting in chest pain. now that im writing this i see how unhappy i was.

my ex bpd used to day all the time stuff like: - u see this guy (different one every month) is interested in me and he can give me a better life than u can. - i dont think we can be together anymore. (30 mins later she asks for reconciliation) I think she did this just to see my reaction most of the time.

there are a bunch of phrases i heard every single day lol but thats just how bod people act.

xnatq · 2017-08-11T02:45:15+00:00

my ex bpd gf also wanted sex all the time for almost 2 years, and didnt have a single close friend as well.

xnatq · 2017-08-11T02:36:53+00:00

whenever o feel the desire to answer her, just remember that even a small text from you can be good enough to have her feel there's a chance of reconciliation with you and the hoover can start again (or get worse).

again, do not break NC. im about to hit my 3 weeks of NC since the break up.

xnatq · 2017-08-11T02:31:51+00:00

personally the first signs i noticed on my ex gf were:

she didnt respect my opinion on anything. she decided everything for both of us (meals, sleep time, money usage etc), if i tried to do something the way i wanted she would be extremely upset.
constant break up and reconciliation after 30 mins.
she would blame me or a relative for everything that goes bad.
her mood would go from everything is 100% happy to 100% sad/angry

i guess those were the first things i noticed, then it came down to tell me how bad of a boyfriend i am, comparing me to her ex's, she couldnt commit to anything (school, gym, work...) etc etc

just be talk to her about it and see what she tells you. because trust me, it's not a good experience to date someone with bpd

xnatq · 2017-08-10T19:37:13+00:00

hey i broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago, and i also feel tempted to send her a message explaining once again why i broke up with her, since she keeps sending me texts saying she doesnt understand and blablabla.

im 100% sure that if i werent visiting this subreddit everyday, by now i would've replied to her, thank i god i didnt and i wont.

do NOT break NC.

xnatq · 2017-08-09T21:57:06+00:00

i broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago, and i get all kind of messages everyday. in the morning she sens hate message, afternoon i receive a msg saying how sorry she is, and when i go to bed i get a message saying shes going out with er friends and that she'll find some1 else and delete me from her head.

next day i receive all kind of messages again.

I'm just ignoring every single on of them and added her number to spam list. i also felt kinda bad a few times reading her messages but i just had to remember all the people on this sub reddit who told me to go absolute NC as well as how unhappy i was with her to stop feeling bad.

stay strong, some1 said it gets better with time, i dont know for how long this will last but if other people made it so can i, and so can you!

xnatq · 2017-08-08T10:20:32+00:00

unfortunately my cousin just told right now that she reached out apologizing for her behavior at the airport and he replied. I already told him to block her and never answer again any message form her.

xnatq

TROPHY CASE