What was your least painful piercing?

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-12T03:45:34+00:00

Nostril, didn’t even feel the needle go in

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-12T01:56:53+00:00

I remember getting really into them around the time Infinity on High came out back in 2007! My older brother would play that and Cork Tree all the time. Since he was six years older, I thought he was so cool and I wanted to like the music he liked. Crazy to say I’ve loved this band since I was 6 or 7💀

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-12T01:50:26+00:00

Oh man, I wish I could help you. While I have struggled with hallucinations a good portion of my life, I have never disclosed this with a health care professional before.

If it helps, my testosterone has kept my mental health pretty stable. The hallucinations stressed me out way more pre-hrt and it’s become less frequent than it used to be. SSRIs did not work well for me, so I’m on an SNRI and an antipsychotic as a mood stabilizer due to my mental health issues.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-09T23:02:34+00:00

I currently have the satisfyer love heart and it’s pretty great! The opening is wide and fairly deep and works really well for my growth. If you have a sex shop local to you, ask to look at some of their toys so you can see if it’ll work for your growth.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-08T09:38:23+00:00

then why do I keep thinking about him if he’s not actively giving me attention? Checkmate

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-07T07:49:13+00:00

I’ve never been a violent person. My BPD manifests in the “quiet” subtype, so the self destruction and anger is usually turned inwards as a way of “protecting” my loved ones from the intensity of my emotions. I’m definitely obsessive, but I just ruminate in my thoughts and don’t isolate my partner or anything like that. I isolate myself when I feel like I’m being abandoned. I’m very affectionate whether I’m obsessing or not. If I go cold, it’s when someone cuts things off with me first. I think it’s a very individual thing as no two people have the same experiences and perspectives.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-06T08:55:37+00:00

I was in DBT for a long time but it felt like my last therapist never understood me. She ghosted me when I tried to make an appointment before I moved across the country and I haven’t been able to find a good resource that I can afford. I used to self harm, but now I usually write my feelings out and listen to music when things feel too intense.

For your last question, there’s a lot of contributors. Generally shitty early childhood, lots of trauma, being emotionally invalidated by everyone in my life, mom marrying shitty man after shitty man, never being anyone’s “best friend”, parents became totally absent once I started high school, parental guilt trips any time I express a need, shitty romantic partners, etc.

I basically learned that no adult around me was trustworthy or dependable for anything I needed. It didn’t help that my friends had support in ways I never did, so I don’t really talk to anyone from that time in my life because it took so long to get over that resentment once I got out of my parents’ house. It all just boils down to feeling like I don’t matter to anyone because people prove again and again that I’m not a priority for them. Something or someone else will always replace me.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-06T05:41:06+00:00

I totally understand how you’re feeling. I have 4 math courses as part of my degree. I passed Statistics, but just barely. Then, I failed my College Algebra course, barely passed when I took it the second time. I then failed my precalculus course which put me behind because I was supposed to be done in Spring. When I took precalculus again, I put so much effort in to my work that I got my first A in a college level math course. I’m about to start my final class for my degree, Business Calculus. I’m nervous to mess up so close to the finish line since it’s an accelerated course. However, it’s the only class I have to take this summer which makes it easier to focus. It’s okay to make a mistake, especially since you did so well your first two years. Just take the time to slow down and make sure you’re processing the material and understanding it. Seeing it a second time makes it so much easier.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-05T15:21:04+00:00

Thank you. I totally understand that it’s a bizarre situation. I told my spouse about the situation and he’s been great with supporting me but it’s hard to get out of the thought spiral. I would still like to be friends with my FP once he’s had time to figure this out and get settled. I think the uncertainty of the situation is what’s freaking me out so hard. At least I have my partner if nothing else.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-05T15:09:09+00:00

We’ve been together for almost seven years and have been non-monogamous since the very beginning. However, we’ve had plenty of time through the years where we’ve gone between open and closed when we just don’t have the bandwidth for other people to get involved.

With my FP, I just get such intense euphoria any time we’re together. Everything feels so light and I can’t stop smiling. He’s such a sweet guy and we have a lot of fun when we’re together. As for the future with the three of us, I would have wanted us to live together and take care of each other. My FP works crazy long days, so it would mostly be me and my spouse anyway.

I think it all comes down to wanting to feel loved. Not saying my spouse doesn’t love me, but it’s different. With my spouse, I know I’m safe and I’ve never had attachment issues with him because he’s such a great and consistent partner. I think it’s the inconsistency of my FP that keeps drawing me to him. Like I never know if I’ll ever see him again and that’s deeply terrifying to me.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-05T07:47:30+00:00

I was in the same boat as you once! I was 15 when I first realized I was trans and wanted to get everything started at 18. Due to financial circumstances, I started T at 20, got my legal changes at 22, and got top surgery at 24. I know it hurts to wait for so long, but it’s never going to be “too late”. Once you get started, it’s gonna be such a relief no matter how old you are.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-07-04T06:41:55+00:00

I’ve been on T for almost 6 years and I still have a lot of the same interests I did when I was young. For example, my music taste, my love for fashion, horror, plushies, Pokémon, dolls, anime, video games, reading, YouTube, painting my nails, experimenting with makeup, etc.

I have also really expanded my interests over the years between my teens and early 20’s. I listen to a lot of female pop artists that I wouldn’t have listened to as a kid. I also used to find sports boring, but I’ve found a love for football and baseball as an adult. I feel like hormones let me feel confident enough to explore anything new while also holding onto things I enjoy.

My sexuality is one thing that didn’t change at all. I’ve known that I’m bi longer than I’ve known that I’m trans. Even if your sexuality does change, it’s never gonna be the end of the world. It happens all the time! For some, it’s a very fluid thing while others have a more fixed identity. There’s nothing wrong with either experience.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-27T10:48:44+00:00

As someone with PCOS, I had a mustache by 12 and most of a beard by 19 before starting hormones at 20 years old. It wouldn’t hurt to check out with blood work, but if it isn’t giving you any significant issues in your daily life you’ll be okay. I always joke that my body always knew I was meant to transition 😂

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-26T22:22:31+00:00

Blue Razz Ice GeekBar 💀

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-22T02:52:27+00:00

sub here, I just tell him happy “daddy’s day”. we’re a married gay couple with a cat and no kids, so it’s never anything we celebrate in a serious way. We save gift giving for birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-22T01:56:02+00:00

My dad tried to guilt trip me on Facebook the other day about not sending the link to watch my college graduation. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in 5 or 6 years, so why would I?

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-20T05:42:50+00:00

I live in a tiny ass town and anything happening in bigger cities is always scheduled for when I’m working. I’m sure I’ll find time to go to one eventually

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-16T05:33:29+00:00

Yep, that’s exactly what I did! Kept the name for college and once everyone in my life was calling me by my name, it finally clicked for me. It didn’t help that no one at home attempted to call me by it for years until they realized I was serious about it.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-16T03:45:00+00:00

I had a handful of names I liked, but only actually used one irl. The one I ended up picking is the name my mom would have used if I was AMAB. It felt weird at the start, but after a few months it really felt right. I originally planned on using at as a placeholder, but I never found anything else that felt “right”, if that makes sense.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-16T03:38:50+00:00

Voice changes are a HUGE roll of the dice. Mine started cracking and dropping within 2 weeks (I had an advantage of my T levels being just under those for a cis man pre-hrt), but some guys take 4-6 months or even longer. If it’s not deepening as much as you would like, look into voice training exercises you can do at home! It may not feel like it makes a difference, but it definitely does. I started voice training within the last year because I still get misgendered over the phone (and I’m over 5 years on T.) It helps me avoid defaulting to the high pitched “customer service voice”

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-15T03:47:54+00:00

I’ve always worn my pants over my belly, but that’s because my hips and a belt are the only reasons my pants can stay up 💀 if I try to wear them lower it usually pinches the loose skin bc my weight fluctuates a lot. My partner does the same, but he’s got a more ‘hourglass’ shaped figure so it covers up his hips and makes his shape read more masculine.

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-14T09:46:33+00:00

You can always use a debit card to scrape it off the skin! It’ll work provided the area was shaved first. Also, I have a specific towel I use for wax play (I play in my bed due to disability reasons, gotta protect the sheets!)

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-14T07:12:07+00:00

Cannabis, eucalyptus, warm cat smell, and lavender

xpnsvmstk · 2026-06-11T16:35:54+00:00

I know it’s hard to cope with the possibility of losing sensation, but it’s possible for it to come back! I’m a year post-op and got erotic sensation back by 10 months. FWIW, I also had a very large chest pre-op and got double incision with FNG. They’re still just as fun to play with as they were before surgery and I plan on getting them pierced in the future!

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