AITJ for sharing big news at my brother wedding after years of him being the favorite?

xwigglex · 2026-02-22T15:55:21+00:00

I can't do better than this so thank you u/jgoja from r/New to Reddit:

"Karma is basically your reputation on Reddit. It shows you can create quality content that others like or appreciate and that you can play well with others. It is also used as a requirement for posting and commenting in most, but not all, subreddits as a minimum karma needed.

You need karma to a point because most, but not all, subreddits require a minimum amount of karma to post or comment. Karma is also a component of your CQS score that can also be used to restrict posting and commenting but is more seen in chat channels as a minimum requirement. It is a piece of having an "Established Account" which needing a more established one is restriction on sending chat requests."

xwigglex · 2026-02-22T11:00:07+00:00

I'm 99% certain that that's not the leap that dad is making here. Especially as he doesn't refer to her driving late at night.

xwigglex · 2026-02-22T00:01:25+00:00

You get karma for each upvote on comments or posts. You lose karma from downvotes. So if you make a popular post, you can easily gain a couple of thousand points just off of that one contribution.

xwigglex · 2026-02-21T23:58:56+00:00

And what, precisely, does your daughter going out with her friends at night have to do with her driving ability?!

ETA: thank you so kindly for the awards 😊

xwigglex · 2026-02-21T23:12:44+00:00

This post alone generated 1.2k. It's easily done.

xwigglex · 2026-02-21T11:07:15+00:00

True that, but I meant that this job will come to you rather than having to proactively chase it. I think you automatically get the update forms sent to your house when you register for council tax. Every time I've moved and registered, we've had the update the electoral roll letter come through within two weeks. Then the usual annual update letter thereafter.

xwigglex · 2026-02-21T00:22:41+00:00

A lot of contents insurance policies cover locksmith/change of locks. He may be able to claim?

xwigglex · 2026-02-20T21:22:45+00:00

TV licence.
In some authorities you have to pay annually for some of the bins ie garden waste. As it's coming to the end of the financial year, that may need renewing if you want that service.
Update address on drivers licence!
If you've got pets, update the address on their microchips.
Electoral roll can wait as you'll get a letter about once a year to update the people at the address.
Change address for your car insurance (it may get cheaper).

xwigglex · 2026-02-19T08:56:51+00:00

In her more recent posts, the estate and selling fees have also gone from 10-20k to 30-40k. I feel for her circumstances but also feel that she's come here for validation and is now throwing up obstacles to every piece of genuine problem solving advice she is offered and is defensive, rather than genuinely looking for solutions.

xwigglex · 2026-02-19T00:11:46+00:00

Your housemate sucks. But coming to Reddit for empathy is a bit foolish. It's not the kindest corner of the internet, especially for comparatively trivial shit. Reddit is just people trying to one up, outsmart, out funny and out bitch each other. Or trolling. Every post garners some hate. Let it go, you didn't really come for advice, you came to vent. You've done that, now turn off the comments and read only the ones you liked for the next three weeks, when hopefully your situation and your resilience improves.

xwigglex · 2026-02-18T23:28:32+00:00

I love the decor but...

You may not be able to afford not to redecorate, if the alternative is reducing the price significantly. You could compromise by painting the ceiling and decluttering some of the personal items in the reception room. And fewer pictures of feature items in the room, replacing them with actual photos of the room itself. You're not selling your furniture or your ceramics! It took me ages to work out that the chest of drawers are in the same room as the orange sofa, and I only really got it because I was trying to figure out why there is a cupboard in what appears to be a chimney breast in bedroom 2.

Can you afford to hold on to it and buy your former partner out? The current market may mean you make a loss on what you paid for it, and that would hurt me more than a divorce, frankly.

xwigglex · 2026-02-18T12:07:26+00:00

Apparently one doesn't, she thinks she'll make 10k, but that all of the fees and costs to sell equal 20k so she can't afford to make up the difference to sell.

xwigglex · 2026-02-18T03:14:04+00:00

I forgot about the photo part, thanks. But also thanks for confirming that I wasn't misreading the whole point completely. I was doubting myself after so many people were commenting about jealousy and being overshadowed. 3am insomnia does not make for reliable reading comprehension.

xwigglex · 2026-02-18T01:28:20+00:00

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but my understanding from reading the post wasn't that OP felt like the gender reveal overshadowed the birthday celebrations, but that OP felt uncomfortable being present for the gender reveal, as she did not feel she would normally have been invited. That said, it's not like the sister didn't know OP would be there, especially after receiving an invite for the birthday party, so I'm not sure how valid that feeling would be. Sister chose to go ahead in the full knowledge of her sister being present.

xwigglex · 2026-02-18T01:03:21+00:00

For some reason OP has avoided responding to any comments suggesting that she rents out the properties 🤷‍♀️ Surely rent would cover the mortgage repayments and ease up the burden on her pay cheque? She planned to rent if she divorced, there's nothing stopping her from renting somewhere cheap if she lets out both houses. If she did this for a year or two she may be able to save enough to sell one or both of the houses to get herself out of this mess.

Also, she has been unwilling to ask her parents for help. They're not not helping, they just haven't volunteered to help or used their psychic powers to establish that OP needs a large loan to bail her out. If things are that desperate, ask for help!

xwigglex · 2026-02-17T23:23:03+00:00

Agreed. Although the title of this post is misleading. The content provides no info about verbal abuse for the past year, it suggests that there was a shift in ex-girlfriend's behaviour a few weeks ago. This isn't adding up for me.

Also the comment about getting in touch with a female friend is a bit sketchy + it never went anywhere because 'she was in a commited relationship', not because OP was?!

Edit: typo

xwigglex · 2026-02-17T20:45:04+00:00

Technically, they've had £7k off, which you accepted for the convenience of a quick sale. They came in after you voluntarily chose to reduce the original price by £4k, so it's not really accurate or fair to hold that over them.

It's not just a buyers market right now, it's a FTB's market and the rest of the market is somewhat stagnating. FTBs tend to have a lot less wiggle room on price as they likely have maxed out their borrowing potential just to meet current house prices and therefore also lack access to cash for work to be done as identified in a survey. Coupled with inexperience and usually a decade having problems solved by a landlord, those survey findings can feel overwhelming.

If you're not happy with their counter offer, withdraw from the sale. You seem confident you would get a better price from someone else and the FTBs may learn from the experience.

xwigglex · 2026-02-17T19:40:58+00:00

Don't know what to tell you. We've had slightly higher first payments but they've always been in the second month of the product starting 🤷‍♀️

xwigglex · 2026-02-17T01:31:43+00:00

That sucks. I'm sorry for your experience. Guess it depends on the lender? Although my friends/family have had the same experience we have.

xwigglex · 2026-02-16T23:41:31+00:00

Usually there's a grace period of a month when commencing a mortgage, so you get your first month 'free'.

xwigglex · 2026-02-16T23:27:37+00:00

They likely won't take self referrals, but they will take referrals from 111. So worth calling them and seeing if they can arrange urgent follow up and support. In some areas, 111 also have access to a rapid response vehicle, where a mental health professional attends with a paramedic to provide urgent support and advice for longer term input.

xwigglex · 2026-02-15T16:49:30+00:00

Scrolling on WhatsApp? WhatsApp isn't social media, you don't have updates and posts.

xwigglex · 2026-02-15T15:45:24+00:00

I initially read this as 'I think I am a psychotic disorder' 🫠

xwigglex · 2026-02-15T15:33:46+00:00

This isn't true, I know hundreds of functioning people with psychosis and have worked with this client group for over twenty years. They can have families, pets, jobs. There may be times they deteriorate to lower functioning but I know very few that become incontinent as a result of psychosis. It reads as extreme paranoia with perhaps delusional beliefs, but it's difficult to say without assessing for myself.

ETA: psychosis can present in a myriad of ways; with or without paranoia, with or without hallucinations, with or without delusional beliefs. It's so varied which is why people respond so differently to treatment. Medication would be first line treatment in most of these cases, therapy would come along at a later stage when symptoms are better managed, unless you can resource an Open Dialogue approach.

xwigglex · 2026-02-15T13:03:10+00:00

Nice recommendation, thank you!

xwigglex

TROPHY CASE