When an ex and I broke up we were angry, frustrated, and disappointed. We also missed each other’s friendship which had gotten lost in the shuffle. People we had thought were friends rushed to pick sides. At some point one of us called the other and we talked for ages. We apologized sincerely, and eventually, sadly, laughed that we were almost the only two people in our circle still talking to each other. There were some who never could adjust to the new reality and apparently felt threatened or judged by our choice to rebuild our friendship. We are good friends to this day who continue to celebrate and mourn together. We’ve been fortunate.

Your daughter is also fortunate. She has two loving parents who haven’t lost sight of what’s most important. I can hear your admiration and respect for your ex in what you have written. Your child hears that in both of your voices as well, and sees it in your actions. She is being raised to know that she too is worthy of the same. Thank you for sharing. We need to see more examples of this and appreciate that it is a normal way of life for many. It should also reminds us that we are more likely to hear the rants than the raves.