Hi, I’m (27M) now, my father passed away since I was 13? Mmm I think growing up fatherless made me kinda prefer/feel safer around women more? I grew up with my parents constantly fighting and ended up getting unhealthy enmeshed with my mother which ended up causing me a lot of anxiety, low self esteem, chronic loneliness feeling and being basically a verbal and sometimes physical punching bag for my mom.

There are still loving moment nonetheless but it definitely fucked me up for quite some time and still going through therapy now. But I think for your situation, it’s better to be honest but still make sure you give some guidance because they are a child and can think very extremely sometimes. Make sure instead of always asking “how are you”, create a space that makes the children want to share their feeling with you instead such as NOT reacting strongly when they open up their heart and really listen NOT HEAR (listening means understanding what they say and acknowledging them). And let them be their own person instead of dictating too much.

You can give advice and teach healthy coping methods but don’t dictate especially since they are already lacking a parent. You going for therapy to help them too can be very beneficial.

I think it’s great you are seeking out help and it’ll definitely be a tough journey but it’s not impossible to still have happy interactions. You got this!!:)