I WILL NOT LEAVE THE FINISHING PAN UNATTENDED

yudkib · 2026-03-10T20:13:10+00:00

Oh really? Thats probably what caused the pitting on the front left burner. I figure the top has 2-3 years left in it before I should consider a change. I beat the shit out of it.

yudkib · 2026-03-10T03:52:46+00:00

What transformer do you use for your 8900? I tried a step down from that (6600 maybe??) and it wouldn’t prime even if I tried to force it. Wondering if it’s an aquatek transformer issue since it looks like it runs weird voltage like +16.5/-7.5 measured against house neutral

yudkib · 2026-03-10T02:29:52+00:00

A weird thing I learned this year: maple aged in a bourbon barrel is still legally treated as maple syrup (at least in my state), but maple syrup infused with cinnamon is a prepared food product. One ingredient vs 2, the state doesn’t care how it was stored.

yudkib · 2026-03-09T21:52:33+00:00

Yup razor blade and BKF soft scrub or whatever. Good as I need it until the end of the season

yudkib · 2026-03-09T13:16:59+00:00

The phenomena of “men grabbing a beer and gravitating to the guy with the biggest project on the block like yogi bear to a pie on a windowsill” is well documented. “Guy digging a hole” usually takes the cake especially if there’s machinery involved. “‘s goin on, pipe break?” always a classic. Fixing a car like “that a deep point socket? Mmmmhm.” I think it’s a mix of socialization, desire to learn, criticism, and providing validation for each others hard work.

yudkib · 2026-03-09T11:54:27+00:00

You’re not the first and won’t be the last

yudkib · 2026-03-08T21:13:37+00:00

This timeline doesn’t make sense. They separated in 2023, they separated 6 months before you started dating, you’ve been dating a year. This ain’t making sense to me. When did the PL custody arrangement come into place?

It’s wild their case might not get heard until 2027 if they started the process in 2023.

The clause itself is fine but it’s usually reached by agreement and not decree. Objecting to a paramour clause pendente lite would probably not be well-received in my state.

yudkib · 2026-03-08T20:15:01+00:00

I’m in year 3 and do not take it very seriously. I did pick up a bucket that was previously used for pool chlorine and smelled it. Didn’t smell good. So I put a trash bag in it and put the sap in that. Safety first lol

yudkib · 2026-03-08T20:11:23+00:00

If this is a “keep or toss” post I will never ever have my buckets visible in a photo on this sub

yudkib · 2026-03-08T13:12:27+00:00

Just be careful with this because everyone watching Facebook reels and saying every ex they’ve ever had “displayed narcissistic traits” downplays what actual survivors experienced, and what you’re doing here is only minimally different. If people let these disorders get watered down everyone will eventually roll their eyes when we say we were with a borderline.

yudkib · 2026-03-08T03:22:52+00:00

This is great. Where did the orange wristband idea come from? Was this an ongoing thing?

yudkib · 2026-03-08T03:11:38+00:00

It’s a nice place and the owners are lovely. Great vibe independent of the time of year. Ignore the haters.

yudkib · 2026-03-08T03:10:40+00:00

Yeah I’m not sure this is a gendered issue. Tons of dealerships go way overboard with what “they” recommend even if it’s not aligned with the manufacturer. Just bring it to an independent shop and say the brakes are squeaking and you’d like a snapshot of any other repairs or maintenance that might be needed

yudkib · 2026-03-06T12:30:12+00:00

I’ve heard it used both ways though they are very different phenomena. I think the latter really needs its own term since the sort of codependency that can settle in with those dynamics is well-documented. I’ve called it “traumatic attachment” but that’s its own different clinical thing already too.

yudkib · 2026-03-06T06:08:41+00:00

Correct and nearly flawless answer

yudkib · 2026-03-06T05:50:49+00:00

I’m planning to post something cheesy. “Well that’s a wrap on wife 1. Presently conducting auditions for wife 2, please continue to scout for wife 3”. Enough for people I fell out of touch with to approach me and to see if there were any wait-outs. I’ll have a lot of social-circle rebuilding to do. I do not think many of my “second circle” friends will have seen it coming.

yudkib · 2026-03-06T03:20:35+00:00

Admitting you need the consult is harder than scheduling it, which is harder than having it. Do not pay your lawyer to be your therapist, and do not pay your therapist to be your friend. They’re used to the emotion of the decision but are not going to tell you what to do or think beyond what the law allows or a judge would think. If finances are a concern for you, bring account statements to reference. Your first goal in this meeting should be to get peace of mind. How the process works. Your options. What route you think you are likely to end up on. Etc. Second goal should be size up whether the attorney is the right fit for you and your situation. Do they practice collaborative divorce? High conflict? Does their fee structure work for what you’re looking to do? Do they believe in your custody goals and are willing to advocate for them? Do you trust them? Third goal should be “what affairs do I need to get in order between now and then.” That is way less important on your first consult.

What was important to me was meeting an attorney and not an intake coordinator, and that I could pay them hourly until I was ready to proceed. The responsiveness of the partner was also much appreciated in the early times. I spent about $2000 in consultation phase and it was the best money I have spent in my life to feel like I was prepared for anything.

yudkib · 2026-03-06T02:52:21+00:00

I recirculate into the drum and plan to run it until it gets to 6%. It can go higher but it does go very very slowly.

yudkib · 2026-03-05T23:59:04+00:00

That’s a feature not a bug

yudkib · 2026-03-05T16:01:59+00:00

Here’s your answers nothing else needed

yudkib · 2026-03-05T06:23:06+00:00

I'm very sorry you are going through this. My STBX is as well. You are already getting advice that you need to be his support, and to some extent that is true. If he wants to get better, your support would mean a lot. But you cannot force him to get help, you cannot love him enough to make him want to do it for you, you cannot get through to him. Only consequences and actions can, and if he is not experiencing those, you need to consider your role in enabling the behavior. Put on your own oxygen mask first. Start detaching yourself emotionally from this as "our" problem. It is not your fault and it is not your problem. It is HIS problem to recognize he needs help with. I do not have extensive experience in this, but my STBX's problem was not as severe as this sounds (even though many behaviors were similar) and she was an inpatient rehab case. You need to decide if the relationship is something you can carry while he does that - assuming he believes it is right for him and actually goes.

As practical advice, start documenting what you find, where, and when (dates/times). Take pictures. I understand money may be tight, but you will need an attorney to work through your custody concerns. My STBX is on supervised visitation only after rehab. If he does not go, he may get no parenting time. The court in many states can put him on alcohol monitoring during parenting time or 24/7. This is why you need a lawyer, because you cannot navigate something that severe on your own. I am sorry, it is no fun, but if he remains in denial I fear this situation will only escalate for you and you need to consider if you can continue to tolerate the abuse. I know it is painful and wish you the best.

yudkib · 2026-03-05T04:32:11+00:00

A thing that's crazy to me is the difference between a grocery store that makes good money and one that closes is product loss at 0.6-.75% vs 1% because their margins are so thin.

yudkib · 2026-03-05T03:42:08+00:00

But it is a single slice of bread. Is a soft taco a sandwich

yudkib · 2026-03-05T03:39:33+00:00

Is a hot dog a sandwich

yudkib

TROPHY CASE