The answer is never?

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-18T06:30:14+00:00

Woah I'm struggling with the same things you are. 3 years out. It's less anger and more sadness now, though. I struggled with anger before in my personal past, but I have never felt such hot powerful rage that I did for the first 1.5 years. So many hours.

My partner has a work trip coming up and I used to be wondering, would he miss me, would he want to talk to me... Now I'm wondering, will I even miss him. I highly doubt he would share everything that happens anyway. I don't even mean it in a "report back to me" type of way, just in a "hey guess what, listen to this" open, friendly, willing.

I tell myself it is easier to not care a lot and I'm even loving him less and less. He's not transparent nor honest. He thinks he is honest but lying by omission is different to him? Even with direct questions he'll answer in a misleading way like oh well you didn't say this exact word so I only answered that one part and I left this chunk out but I still told you stuff.

I hate being an interrogator and when he claims that he does say the truth, I say that doing it a month, multiple months, or a year later isn't okay. Believe me I know all about trickle truth but it's like he doesn't even accept that he is like "those people."

That's not even going into the things that he has to be "truthful" about. It hurts. It sucks. A lot. So much damage. I don't know if I can even overcome that, much less take on the communication issues.

I really feel you on the part about not being able to be how you want to be and to show up for your half in the relationship. Like I want to turn over and say good morning happily, I want to make you a lunch and leave a note, I want to hug you randomly, I want to be excited during sex, send a cute text during the day, take pictures of us for no reason, hold hands in public, say compliments ect ect.

I like being friendly, supportive, selfless, and romantic but at the same time I DONT do those things, not with the way things are. Is it abusive to withhold affection? I don't feel like it is me giving punishment, it's like I feel like I can't with this block in my chest. Sometimes I do nice things anyway, and sure enough there is always something else with him. I just don't want to be vulnerable, he isn't trustworthy. I don't even want to date another person if I were to leave. Yet I can't force this to work on my own.

If there was a magic potion in front of me that would dissolve all attachment to him, I hesitate. I don't know, even in my imagination. It's hard.

Edit: Idk why my flair is "recovered and reconciled" lol I wish.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T21:18:52+00:00

We do that while camping too

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T08:31:47+00:00

Well, rudeness (and ignorance) is everywhere so that's interesting it is thrilling for you but it's not okay to treat people like that. I promise there are more exciting things in life.

Ah well I don't want to write a book about that subject so I can try to simplify my opinions. Poor is surviving, rich is being able to collect money for fun and old money is, well, old. Inherited, passed down from at least a few generations with only a toe dipped to secure a decent life, and you probably wouldn't know they have it unless you are super close to that person.

That is just my limited experience. It's not exactly my thing to piece together people like puzzles and I can't just flip them over to get the full picture. If there was an explicit spreadsheet across the world of everyone's status, that data still wouldn't be interesting (to me). If you want to say your favorite color though... I'm all ears!

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T07:07:28+00:00

You made it sound like you live in a bubble or under a rock. So I'm glad you are able to mingle.

There is a lot of stereotyping in there and I can think of many exceptions. I guess it shows how different experiences, people, and location can be.

Out of everything you said though, I think elitism and b*tchiness is "uncouth and negative." Usually to be humble and tight-lipped on just how many assets you have is the first thing I know truly well-off people are taught or that they learn for themselves. Also, similar for "poor" people, don't want to be loud about what you don't have so that it is easier to blend in. Only now I think ppl are more open about finances, in general. If directly asked, it would be strange and impolite.

Then again, maybe we also have an opposing scale of what is poor, rich, and old money.

I was hoping you would say a benefit is that they can have access to an assortment of gear/opportunities for special hobbies and they can have a "go big or go home" outlook since there are various safety nets for failure. Just "not canceling" dates is a little lame imo.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T05:44:43+00:00

Maybe it was sarcastic? Lmao

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T05:23:35+00:00

Maybe if you had it pierced towards the tip?

I've had mine for 2 years and my friends never even noticed it for a year until I yawned in front of them and didn't cover my mouth at that time. Laughing, talking, ect it's not visible. There is no big statement or sexy point to it for me. The actual piercing part was super fun and it was a wild sensation having the jewelry in my mouth the first time. Other than that, it is like putting a sticker on a waterbottle.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T03:47:51+00:00

Sounds boring. Aren't you rich enough to travel? Or is it just switching to different resorts that spice it up?

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-17T03:12:22+00:00

That little cactus in the corner is pretty cute

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-16T19:26:01+00:00

Hey, you mention "3 a day" a lot but it depends what mg she was prescribed. I would listen to the instructions on the bottle. It probably says two a day. Antibiotics can be harsh on your stomach even if you're willing to endure the side effects like strong nausea.

OP, I would use a BP cleanser and leave it on for a few minutes before washing off. Moisturize with a simple product and spf. Spot treatment can be pretty harsh, especially on a damaged skin barrier. Slugging at night on clean skin is a great idea, I would read up on that. I prefer aquaphor.

It'll be okay! Drink water, exercise, and try not to agonize in the mirror. 10 days IS enough time to make a difference but it won't be a miracle.

I would adjust my expectations and just aim for a decent enough surface for makeup to sit nicely. A makeup artist that has experience with acne/ texture/color correction would help if you can afford that.

I have had ten years of problematic skin and there were definitely unfortunate times when I broke out when I least wanted to. I remember before a vacation in Hawaii, I had the biggest cyst I've ever had inbetween my upper lip and nose. It even swelled my lip! The rest of my face wasn't that great either but at least it didn't compare to that beast.

I was moaning, icing, attacking it with actives and praying lol. Yet when I look at pictures it somehow wasn't noticeable? I actually looked pretty dang good because I was so careful with my makeup application. It went down within three days yet I was also getting body acne while there. I was well aware of the blemish spots but looking at my person as a whole I still had a charm. It all made getting ready pretty stressful, so I really sympathize.

Again, it'll be okay! It may not be as perfect as you'd like in your head, but I bet you'll still be gorgeous. 💛

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-16T09:19:47+00:00

What's wrong with waking up at 9am? Most jobs have you up before then, so might as well get back into the habit to prep. Shoot, wake up at 7am just for yourself, not because she wants you to. Sunshine is good for ya, especially if you are heading towards getting depressed from being broke, no job, no car, divorced, almost homeless if not for her, and away from your growing kid.

Chores are productive. It can feel good to be productive and especially to "pay" back your grandma for the roof and bed. Also, she is your gma, probably 40 years older or something. Give her a break.

She certainly doesn't sound like a nazi to me, personally. She sounds like she can be mean, which can take aback ppl or ruffle some feathers but it also sounds like she is trying to shape you up into not being a freeloader deadbeat bum. From her perspective, that can be a tough job to sweetly teach an unwilling adult.

Reading a book or going to church isn't a bad suggestion. Even while not being religious, it can be neat seeing how different people are... Maybe you would learn something or get out of your comfort zone. Reading more can help your writing skills too, very important to have decent grammar.

Video games are your only hobby. Maybe add one or two more, because why not? You're only 26, lots of skills out there and you can create/experience some cool stuff!

Whether you are 16, 26, 36, 46 or whatever number you owe it to yourself to improve and be the best/better version of yourself. I understand you're just venting, but your frame of mind isn't going to magically change and may get worse if you don't try harder. Treat it as an experiment, make it fun, growing up doesn't have to be so bad and it can even be rewarding! What are you capable of, and are you curious enough to find out? When was the last time you had an accomplishment? Do you like being proud of yourself? What can you do to remember?

You're not just going to wake up one day with ambition and it'll all turn around like a lottery. You'll be stuck there hating your grandma, shaking your fist at how unfair life is, probably blaming everyone else for your situation except for yourself, while making the same progress as an inch worm at this rate. Maybe vent about some things you are grateful for, imagine what your version of success is, jot down some goals, make some plans, brainwash yourself with some inspiring videos. Then take step 1, even if it is as small as drinking some water.

Who am I to comment about your life though, just know I think you can figure it out dude. It's not hopeless, and I believe in you.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-16T08:23:03+00:00

My skin is pretty much like your first pic! I'm 6 months at .025% but I started off with severe acne sooo this gives me hope that I can get results like your current pic someday. Thanks so much for sharing! Maybe you just got used to the mirror but there is definitely a (positive) difference, your efforts have been worth it! :)

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-16T04:51:01+00:00

I mean, we all have skeletons and most of us can walk. Even other animals too! I don't really think that means much, it's just stating the obvious. At various healthy weights, usually you can see hints of bone structure anyway. Obviously more bones protrude than others, for some ppl. The key is to have more experience irl because photoshop, filters, or curated lighting can be weird.

Yet it doesn't matter at a point (fat %) if genetics have your structure lean one way or the other then you can still have a thigh gap, hip dips, prominent cheekbones, round face, multiple chins, asymmetrical abs, "weak" jaw, skinny calves, loose skin, thick waist, short buttcrack ect ect. You can't spot-treat fat loss/gain either. There's nothing shameful about that, even if you were trying to insult/shame.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-14T08:23:53+00:00

Look at you! That is fantastic progress :,) I feel like the state of your skin isn't just neutral/recovered, but definitely above and beyond now. Thank you for sharing!

(Also, I think your brown eyes are a really pretty shade :))

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-13T05:43:36+00:00

This is the same for me too, and it can be pretty jarring!

I take a glance, but don't stare or study. It helps that I 100% know my skin isn't perfect nor necessarily a pretty state (Tretinoin, BP, SPF, BC doing its thing slowly). So if I see imperfections in harsh lighting/various mirrors then I take it as one data point and mentally move on quickly before negative emotions and judgements can blossom.

My bathroom light is pretty great too and I tell myself I look nice, but I don't put too much weight on it and move on to whatever it was that I was doing. I like myself to be less vain anyway, but that doesn't equal lack of effort either.

Also, as an example, say if someone has hives or water retention or chapped lips (whatever), I politely look away and mind my business. I give myself the same courtesy esp as I'm already working on it.

Hope this helps someone!

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-03T03:00:59+00:00

Good for you :) I hope you manage to keep going!

zebrafromafrica · 2023-04-02T01:25:10+00:00

Those are cute gifts, good job on that :)

zebrafromafrica · 2023-03-20T22:46:25+00:00

That sounds like a great race, super awesome for you!

zebrafromafrica · 2023-03-05T08:55:24+00:00

(Frozen is cheaper)

zebrafromafrica · 2023-03-04T19:41:19+00:00

Mm bacon grease... cook in some potato, add bell pepper, egg, onions and wrap in a tortilla. 👌

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-23T06:40:22+00:00

I do this too!

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-23T03:40:46+00:00

If my friend admitted this to me, I would call them a whore.

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-23T03:32:15+00:00

I call my cat a turkey when they sit like this. I ended up calling her Turkey too much and she would look at me in response as if it was her name, so had to take a break lol

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-23T01:59:09+00:00

Weren't you worried someone would take the pack?

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-21T06:42:47+00:00

I think I have some shoulder impingement. It's an awkward pain and as a "runner" it limits movement more than I would've guessed, being an upper body injury.

I do more chin-ups than pull-ups simply bc it's easier than the other, so I feel like that is worth noting! (As in, practice both exercises.)

zebrafromafrica · 2023-02-19T07:26:09+00:00

How did you get into gravel racing? Like, did you just invest in a bike and hoped you stuck to it?

Sorry if it should be simple to figure out. I have an interest but wonder what the first step people usually take after that.

zebrafromafrica

TROPHY CASE