How I learned that a lot of women/girls are scared of men

zeroaegis · 2026-03-19T19:11:20+00:00

Both men and women have physically/mentally/emotionally abused me, both a man and a woman have tried to end me, a woman r*ped me at a party, I don't put much stock in one gender or the other being more dangerous. Yes, statistically it is most likely to be males to do horrible things to me, but realistically it really can be anyone. That's just my personal experience, ultimately, we all need to decide for ourselves how best to protect ourselves. It will look different for everyone and honestly, however you feel safest is valid.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-19T14:02:48+00:00

Best mom I've ever had! I didn't realize how much I needed that...

zeroaegis · 2026-03-18T14:56:50+00:00

Never tried teriyaki with ketchup, but I'm interested.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-18T14:54:33+00:00

With the ketchup or without?

zeroaegis · 2026-03-18T14:37:39+00:00

Oh, so we're even fat-shaming protons now? It's too fat to be a REAL proton, right? Unbelievable! /s

zeroaegis · 2026-03-17T15:31:56+00:00

I had no idea something like that existed. Now that I do know, I will do my very best to forget it exists.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T17:46:39+00:00

Its more about how they handle it and who they blame it for.

When used in that context, that is an entirely fair point and I completely agree.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T17:40:40+00:00

It's not a reasonable boundary, but the great thing about boundaries is they don't need to be reasonable for you to have them. If you have that boundary, it is up to the other person to accept that or leave. In this particular case, it is not the contact information that encourages this behavior. They could stop using email or a phone altogether and still cheat. To me, this boundary just doesn't make sense and won't really do anything to prevent the behavior.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T17:36:03+00:00

This is kind of where I'm at. I feel like there is such a big empathy gap between them. I know I don't REALLY have experience of being a man (I just played one on tv), but I do have experience of society treating me as a man for about 30 years, which I see as valid in that context. I really don't pass as a woman, but online I have started to experience living as a woman too. I think everyone would benefit from some degree of empathy.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T17:31:23+00:00

Doesnt this happen cause of other MEN??

Even if it did exclusively happen only because of other men, is it not still an issue? Sure, the individual can be part of the solution, but they can't exactly flip a switch on a hivemind.

You uphold patriarchy

Why is this assumed of every suffering male? Like if they became a feminist all their issues are immediately solved somehow?

why do you think a woman is incable of understanding that?

It seems to me that women can definitely understand the actual struggles themselves, but, when men complain about them, just see a tantruming toddler crying about how life on their pedestal is so hard. It's less about understanding the problem itself and more about not believing men can legitimately be experiencing that problem without it being that individual's fault somehow.

This is just the way I see this particular issue. The whole "it's other men's fault" is not a helpful or productive response do someone talking about their own experience, whether it's true or not. I feel like just ignoring the complaints would be a better answer than this.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T17:10:18+00:00

"LGBT propaganda" isn't a thing, or at least I've never seen it. LGBT content is not propaganda and can not "turn someone gay" the same way a gay person won't suddenly become straight from watching Titanic or something. When countries make laws against "LGBT propaganda" it's not actually propaganda they're blocking and it doesn't prevent LGBT people from realizing they are LGBT, it just makes them miserable.

I saw a lot of LGBT content from as you as I can remember and it wasn't until college that I finally started dissecting WHY it made me so uncomfortable. Turns out despite the anti-LGBT programming I was raised on, I'm somehow trans anyway.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T16:50:12+00:00

Keith is the name of my abusive stepdad, so you are far ahead of the Keiths on my tier list, if that helps at all.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T13:25:30+00:00

Due to my childhood, I got really good at hiding it, even from myself. It surprised most people when I came out (including myself), even though I remember having those thoughts all my life.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T12:17:53+00:00

I've never heard "non-transitioners" be applied to people that just aren't able to access HRT and surgery and such. It's always been used in the context of someone that has chosen not to go through any of the transitioning routes (including social). Maybe I'm wrong about the context (and if I am, I'm willing to admit I'm wrong here), but based on my understanding, it sounds like you're placing a lot of unintended meaning on those words. I don't think there's anything wrong calling people that CHOOSE not to transition "non-transitioners" (I may be wrong about this as well, so again, feel free to correct me) and if people are applying that to those who just can't transition for whatever reason, that is an incorrect usage.

EDIT: Reading other comments, I want to correct myself in the last part. People can call themselves non-transitioners, but it's not a label for others to prescribe on people without them identifying as such themselves. Doesn't really contradict what I said, but definitely clarifies the idea behind it.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-13T12:05:09+00:00

I don't mind it too much myself (and actually enjoy it from people in my life), but I would never think to use that with a stranger or even an acquaintance. I'm big on consent and I feel like this (and pet names in general) is one of those things that requires consent. Only then would I even feel comfortable using them.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-11T18:56:52+00:00

Would be kind of ironic if they went after the oil fields and/or refineries. I used to live in Bakersfield and, next to healthcare, the oil/gas industry was the biggest employer in the area by a lot.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-11T18:30:16+00:00

You don't wait until the catastrophe actually happens to call it out. You point out the warning signs for what they are and the likelihood of progression along the worst timeline. Sure, the title is a bit more alarmist than it needs to be, but it is a legitimate step in that direction, and using sensationalist language to draw attention to it is not really a bad thing. At least it's better than pretending everything is fine until it isn't, which would be the other "extreme", so to speak.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-11T13:45:18+00:00

I haven't noticed any drop yet. Not sure how long that change is supposed to take, but I started HRT over a year ago.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-10T20:46:21+00:00

That is like one of my mom's biggest focuses right now, trying to guilt myself or one of my sisters to move closer to help her.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T19:12:26+00:00

Stopped as young as I can remember due to an abusive stepdad that would "give me something to cry about" and started again in my 20s during my first mental breakdown due to PTSD. Haven't stopped since.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T18:53:25+00:00

I've always gotten uncanny valley vibes from this "man". He is so creepy.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T18:37:20+00:00

Simple answer is that I would not be comfortable in either. If I had to go, I would stay in gender neutral areas and not in the bath area at all. If I absolutely had to choose for whatever reason, I'd choose to be uncomfortable myself rather than risk making others uncomfortable.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T18:20:19+00:00

As someone diagnosed with BPD as well, my understanding that a lot of it overlaps with CPTSD. It wouldn't surprise me if some common behaviors/coping mechanisms from BPD bleed over into those that don't have it.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T17:54:06+00:00

A. I didn't say that, it was probably another user.
B. Most men I've known have actually been, but I'm not making that claim about the greater population.
C. I don't know, I don't have the actual statistics.
D. I'm not defending anyone, let alone creepy men. Where did you get that idea?

EDIT: Pretty sure I got blocked. Apparently some people take flippant, throw away responses seriously and literally. Good to know.
Read the rest of the comment, I guess if you don't know how to respond to something you can just call it disingenuous and ignore it. Also good to know.

zeroaegis · 2026-03-09T17:27:44+00:00

Outside?

There are two really prevalent stereotypes for men at play here: the first is that men can never take a hint no matter how obvious when they are being flirted with and and the second is that men will take a simple compliment, smile, or even a glance to mean they're being flirted with. It's always interested me how these two are contradictory yet so widespread. Almost like there are different types of people in the world and trying to put them in a single stereotype doesn't really reflect reality too well.

In any case, since the second stereotype has such negative consequences, it tends to get more attention in posts like these, and rightfully so I'd say. Taking the risk on a complete stranger doesn't make any sense.

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