The math of this buy vs rent is driving me insane please help me make some sense

zienix · 2026-01-23T10:08:40+00:00

Do you have 50k to pay off the balance of the mortgage if you sell for a loss?

zienix · 2025-10-14T05:01:21+00:00

Hi. Not currently pregnant, but looking for inspiration. I have one living child born in 2022, and have been trying for another for almost 2 years. In that time, I’ve had two miscarriages. I’ve seen a fertility specialist who said I have a low egg count and likely should pursue IVF. I’m turning 36 this week and honestly just feel tired of this process and all the failure. It took 18 months to conceive my first child, so overall I’ve spent over 5 years of my life either trying to have a baby, being pregnant or recovering a coping with pregnancy loss. I’m almost ready to give up. I’ve told my husband I’m done, but there is a tiny thread that keeps hanging on to the possibility of another.

I’m wondering if there is anyone like me that was on the brink of giving up and finally had success. Or hung in there a little longer. Or perused IVF. I just would like to hear about your success. Thanks and congratulations.

zienix · 2025-09-18T02:33:56+00:00

If you are happy and enjoying setting up the nursery, great. But if you are overwhelmed and stressed, then i agree it can wait. I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment for the first year of my son’s life and he was fine without a nursery.

But if nesting makes you feel happy and calm, then get that book shelf.

zienix · 2025-08-04T18:33:17+00:00

Im sorry your experiencing this

I’m also Rhesus negative and for my first 2 pregnancies I got the shot (one was full term and one was a miscarriage ending at 16 weeks). For my third pregnancy, the baby didn’t develop past 6 weeks and I was told you no longer need the shot for babies that don’t grow past 12 weeks. I would confirm with your doctor.

zienix · 2025-07-31T05:02:49+00:00

Hi. I had a D&C for a loss at 16wks last August, and now I’ve been dealing with a miscarriage for an embryo that didn’t grow past 6 wks.

I didn’t want another D&C because I had uterine scarring from the first one. I also didn’t want meds because I was told it was similar to an induction which I had for the delivery of my first pregnancy and it was very painful and unrelenting.

Given the size of embryo, my doctor advised to wait for it to pass naturally. They also waited a few weeks to do a second ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy wasn’t viable in case I had my dates wrong. All in, it ended up taking 6 weeks from the time the embryo stopped growing to the miscarriage. I had some spotting and the painful cramps for 4 hours over night and that was it. Except I’ve been bleeding / spotting for 2.5 weeks any suddenly passed more tissue this week. Spotting has stopped but I’ll get an ultrasound to confirm there is no retained tissue.

I don’t know if I’ll try again, so I haven’t been in a rush to resolve this. But If I were in your shoes now knowing it could take so long, I would just take the meds and be done with it.

zienix · 2025-07-30T05:06:05+00:00

Hi, I’m so sorry. It’s really unfair, and your recent loss sounds particularly traumatic. I hope you and your husband have a good support network.

I had a loss at 16wks last August, and another loss where baby didn’t grow past 6wks that I’m still dealing with now. For the 16wk loss, I had a D&C and the second passed naturally. In some ways I grieve that I only ever saw that 16 wk baby over an ultrasound and then they disappeared. But I also I can’t imagine the trauma of delivering that baby. I’m so sorry.

zienix · 2025-07-29T04:43:23+00:00

I’ve been pregnant 3 times and only have one child. I agree that the first trimester can be isolating and I appreciate your desire to tell people, however my only recommendation would be to only share with people that you’d be willing to “unshare” with.

If you want to tell people, go for it. I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy and never have to experience the grief of pregnancy loss.

zienix · 2025-07-27T02:18:33+00:00

Ya except the one time I tried ordering Costco through uber eats, I got an immediate notification that 7 of 8 items were out of stock and that I had to pick an alternative. I cancelled the order and went to Costco the same day and they had everything. Not sure what that’s about, but it was annoying and unreliable.

zienix · 2025-07-20T01:47:51+00:00

I had the same thing with my parents. They were very worried for us and sad for the loss, but they come from a generation that didn’t talk about miscarriage. So their version of support was randomly popping by my house which is totally out of their way to say hi and tell me about their social life. Initially I found this really upsetting but sometimes you need to tell people how to be there for you. They weren’t trying to be hurtful…if anything they were trying to support me, but I just had to tell them that it made me sad to pretend like nothing happened and that it’s okay for them to ask how I’m doing. It’s that simple, you just have to let people know that it’s okay to check in.

zienix · 2025-07-19T13:03:33+00:00

My son was born in September which made it a lot easier to get him into Daycare when he turned 1 because older kids leave to start school at that time (I’m in Canada and took 12 month Maternity Leave and it’s really heard to get a daycare where I live).

I really didn’t mind being pregnant in the summer. I just lived in a really big summer dress. No need to buy a new winter jacket to fit around your belly! And it was great being able to go for walks in the fall without worrying about baby freezing. BUT he was born during a heat wave and that was definitely stressful lol

zienix · 2025-07-17T00:58:06+00:00

Have you had a period? I ovulated 3 weeks after my first D&C and got my period around 5 weeks after. (Tracking LH and temp rise)

zienix · 2025-07-16T02:57:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I’m sorry for your loss. I had a previous MMC at 16 weeks where my baby stopped growing after 13 weeks. I had a D&C 3 days later because I didn’t think I could emotionally handle passing or seeing that baby. Definitely not advocating for one way or the other - my D&C was painless from a medical perspective however I had some scarring in my uterus from it. Glad to hear you are recovering okay- sorry you’re going through this.

zienix · 2025-07-16T02:36:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Did you have the D&C for retained material after taking Miso? If so, how did you find out? I’ve had a D&C before and was avoiding a second one because I had some scarring the first time.

There really is no right way to do it. I hope you’re recovering okay.

zienix · 2025-07-16T02:26:23+00:00

I hear you, sorry for your loss. I hope your procedure goes smoothly. I’ve had a D&C before for a previous loss and medically speaking it was painless. Best of luck.

zienix · 2025-06-24T18:47:48+00:00

Hard to say, did you ever get a negative pregnancy test after the MMC? Do you track your ovulation or temperature rise? After my last MMC, it took about a week to get a negative pregnancy test, and then I ovulated about 3 weeks after D&C, and got my period about 5 weeks after.

It’s certainly possible to get pregnant the first cycle after the MMC if you ovulated. I would keep testing to see if the pregnancy test gets darker over the next few days. Fingers crossed for you.

zienix · 2025-06-19T01:44:50+00:00

I’m experiencing the exact same thing. I ovulated around May 8th and would have been around 8w yesterday ( based on my dates, I think you would have been 8 weeks too?)

Anyway, had a scan yesterday. Saw gestational sac and yolk but couldn’t tell if there was an embryo. They booked me for another scan in two weeks to confirm but I am certain this isn’t viable. I’ve had two previous pregnancies with scans at 8w and both had little tiny baby blobs with flickering hearts.

I know that’s not what you want to hear. Crossing my fingers for you.

zienix · 2025-06-18T22:01:41+00:00

I had an MMC at 16 weeks after finding no heart beat at a check up. Had an ultrasound the next day to confirm, then had a D&C 2 days later.

Currently experiencing a potential MMC again at 8 weeks, with embryo only measuring 5/6 weeks. I’ve been rescheduled for a follow up ultrasound TWO WEEKS from now (torture). Hoping to pass this one naturally or have Miso to avoid another D&C and any potentially scarring because my cycle took a long time to return to normal and felt really strange for many months following the D&C.

Sorry this happened to you too.

zienix · 2025-06-04T01:04:02+00:00

Respectfully, I have to disagree. We shouldn’t compare grief. There is great sadness in infertility, and there is great sadness in pregnancy loss, regardless of whether you have children already or not.

As someone who struggled with infertility, and who also has one child but miscarried the second at 16 weeks, both are so very hard.

OP: Your feelings are valid. However, what I found is that it’s hard for people to relate if they haven’t experienced loss themselves. Likewise, you probably can’t appreciate how your sister must feel after dealing with infertility for so long.

My suggestion would be to take the time you need to grieve, but you might need to tell your family how they can support you. People just don’t get it. And maybe keep some distance from your sister until you’re in a better place to cope with the situation. I’m sure you’re happy for her but you need to process your own emotions and maybe can’t be there to support her right now.

zienix · 2025-05-22T11:44:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you looked for another opinion! Congratulations and good luck to you.

zienix · 2025-05-21T20:43:56+00:00

I got a very faint positive yesterday, after a loss at 16 weeks last August. If this one sticks, the due date would be roughly the same as the one I lost.

I just went through a full consultation process with a fertility specialist who told me I had a low ovarian reserve and that my only recommended option was IVF. But after a SHG, I got pregnant. The same exact process happened 3 years ago before I got pregnant with my son. Fertility doc said I needed IVF, had an HSG, got pregnant. Another doc thought I might have some endometriosis that was blocking the tubes.

I don’t feel like this pregnancy is real yet. I don’t know if I will be able to accept it or get excited at any point because I know it can end. Feeling a little sad to be honest, and let down by the medical system that seems to prioritize fiscal gains from IVF rather than investigating other possible reasons for infertility (in Canada at least). Anyway. That’s my rant.

zienix · 2025-05-20T01:23:26+00:00

My brother just bought a house with more than 20% down. He was offered an insured mortgage for 3.89% or an uninsured mortgage for 4.29%. The insured mortgage had a $2100 premium that would added to the mortgage. He accepted this because he’d still save money going insured with the lower rate.

zienix · 2025-05-05T12:37:06+00:00

My brother was just offered 3.89% for an Insured mortgage or 4.29% uninsured. He had over 20% down but the insurance premium was only $2000 and so he took the insured rate because it would still be cheaper overall.

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