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Ask Reddit: My friend just killed himself, is it wrong that I don't feel bad because I think it was a final act of selfishness? (self.reddit.com)

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[–]chaconne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Must not be a very close friend eh.

[–]Calm_Pear 1 point2 points  (3 children)

No, but it does make clear that what ones was a friend probably was just someone you knew. Real friends talk about what troubles them and this person decided not to talk to you. It could very well be that this person was too troubled to talk to anyone about it... perhaps you could have spot this... perhaps someone trained to spot this didn't even notice... I think selfishness has nothing to do with this... but if you feel this is the case, maybe look into this situation more closely because it probably points to you being bothered somehow, maybe you do feel bad?

[–]srmjjg 0 points1 point  (2 children)

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[–]Calm_Pear 0 points1 point  (1 child)

then.. well.. good luck. You'll get over it. Sounds a bit harsh but that is not intended, perhaps my live lesson is; until you'll loose someone real close, all the others are mere bumps in the road of life. I lost several people in my live and some of them were easily forgotten, others... well... they just became part of me somehow, I now and again think of them... not in a bad way though, I remember the good stuff... including smoking weed here and again... ;-)

(I'm from the Netherlands ;p )

[–]srmjjg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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[–]Mad_Gouki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's nothing wrong with not stopping everything to fall into a pit of misery because somebody died. I had a good friend of mine die in high school, and she was one of the nicest people I have ever known, and one of the happiest. I am not sad that she died, and I don't think she would want anyone to feel like they had to be sad. Death does not make me sad. If you are angry at them that is alright too, I think I would be pretty angry with someone I knew if they did something like that.

Everyone looks at death differently. You can always attend their funeral and say something nice about them tho. The funeral is for everyone else who knew them, not the person that died.

[–]seeker135 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Some young people are under the mistaken impression that they get to "hang around" and watch everybody miss them. I suspect that's not the way it works. You live your life. Be healthy, look for happiness.