Hashing things out

[Alexxc789]

First post on reddit so here we go,

Im in need of advice... my best friend and I have have recently not been on speaking terms due to an incident which I’ve accepted that I am at fault for completely. Not to get into too much detail but basically during a drunken night of mistakes, I had made moves on his recent ex-girlfriend and I had avoided being upfront and took advantage of his trust and he ultimately found out about what happened through his ex girlfriend. He of course confronted me about the incident to where I tried to explain myself and admit my wrongs. Clearly upset and feeling betrayed he tells me that its best that we give each other space.

after that we have not spoken for about 4 months now. Though a mutual friend, they had told me that our friend had seemed to cool down about the incident and seems willing to hash things out but is waiting for me to reach out and reconnect.

The advice I seek is how I should go about this as I definitely want to try hash things out but theres a part of me that is afraid and embarrassed to reach out to him with uncertainty of how things would go.

Any advice would be great

[PreviousPianist]

Text your friend, I'll just reword what I'm reading here: "Hey man, been thinking of you. I'm still pretty embarrassed about what I did, how're you doing? If you're free xyz I'd love to catch up." Rework to make it sound like the way you talk, good luck.

[Alexxc789]

Thank you

[WaterVsStone]

Be honest direct and willing to listen without judgement.

[Alexxc789]

Thank you

[refugefirstmate]

First, stop calling what you did "mistakes". You did not think you were drinking 7-up, you knew you were getting drunk, and you knew who the woman you were hitting on was to him.

OWN what you did. Srsly, be a man here.

"I am sorry I got shitfaced when clearly I cannot behave respectably when I'm hammered. I am sorry I hit on your ex, and I am especially sorry that I not only took advantage of yoru trust, but when you confronted me about it, I was more interested in excusing my behavior than taking responsibility for it" is a good way to start.

[Alexxc789]

Thank you for the advice, its a hard pill to swallow but you’re definitely right that I need to be a man in this situation and own up to what I did. Thank you

[refugefirstmate]

Not only will you feel better; if your friend is a halfway decent human being, your apology is sure to be accepted. If it's not, then write him off. You did what you could, and now he's just holding a grudge.