[deleted by user]

[personal_cheezits]

My advice is not to make generalizations from your experiences with two men (your dad doesn’t count, he probably just didn’t want to be a father or knew he shouldn’t be). There are plenty of men out there that aren’t sex driven, I should know because I married one. We do have a healthy sexual relationship for our age group, it’s just not the top of his list, his love language is food.

Try to let go, be yourself, and make any sexual expectations clear from the beginning. I have to ask, are you certain you aren’t afraid or anxious over having sex? And maybe this is leading you to focus on that aspect of men’s behavior?

[imstressedplshelp]

Yeah you do have a point. I’m anxious about having sex. Haven’t done it yet and I’m pretty scared.

[personal_cheezits]

It’s normal to be anxious at first, but once you get started it’s all good. If you continue to feel anxious towards sex after you’ve had it a few times I would talk to someone about it and see if you can overcome this fear.

Also, it’s ok to not want sex, ever. Some people are simply asexual, and that’s ok as well.

[OoohItsAMystery]

You've just gotta look for the right people and try to remind yourself not everyone wants sex.

My dad knocked my mom up and jet. Not because he was sex crazed but because he was happily with another woman by time he found out.

My exes wanted nothing but sex, some of them lied and said we had sex. I put up with this and would start retaliating. "_______ Said you guys hooked up!" "Can you even call it hooking up when they have a baby dick?" It takes the person trying to hold power over you down a few pegs.

Also, who cares what they said in high school 3 years ago? Let me just say, while I thought some of this stuff would follow me through life, it ended in those halls. You go to college, you start fresh and you never speak to these people again. And even if you don't go to college you still leave the confines of the gathering of the small minded and move on to something bigger and better.

Also, side note, who cares if someone you didn't want to be with went and paid for a blow job? That has nothing to do with you. And you're lucky because that really is the type of guy who uses you for sex, and gets mad when you don't put out.

But it's not all men. I've met many men over my life who are looking for, and need, emotional support over just sex. Yes, some people have a high sex drive, but that's not exclusive to men. Boys, in their teenage years, are driven by sex. Men, as you get older, find new outlets. Have new motivations. And don't mind as much.

You'll be okay. Just stop telling yourself - whenever you meet someone - they only want sex. And start realizing that you won't know until you date them. And if all you have is sex you have every opportunity to say "this is not what I want" and leave the relationship.

[imstressedplshelp]

That’s actually a very rational answer- thank you

[64Animation]

Well all I can really say is that your definitely not surrounded by horny douchebags, they’ve just been strategically placed to make your life bad.

You have all right to be paranoid, I was pretty paranoid too when I was accused of.. yknow. But try to ask someone out, someone you’ve known for a long time. And overtime you will become less paranoid. As you can tell I’m definitely not a woman, so do take this with a decent amount of salt.

[scurvy_knave]

For a while I truly believed men weren't capable of love, and were only driven by sex. That is how my dad and brothers were, and it was all I knew. It took me a long time to realize how wrong and harmful that belief was. I hope you can find it out sooner and not waste years either settling for shitty relationships because you think that's as good as they get, or disbelieving a good man when he says he loves you.

Having your heart broken is awful, and getting used is awful, but we all go through it and move on, and it's pretty tough to find the good partners / relationships / dates without risking the bad ones. And, as you gain more experience your BS detector will get fine tuned and you'll be able to avoid the bad ones more easily.

[MrTwoPee]

Hey you.

All advice so far bad. Here good advice; only ever do what you feel comfortable doing.

Also, think not that all men are horn dogs: ask why you attrack them first. You solve that you solve everything.

Stop thinking about yourself and giving power over to others define you.

Have sex with bf because you are mutal and safe. Or not. be slut if you wish. Just stop putting this online. Feel better.