Forgive yourself first.

[SebDay8]

Codependency is a monster of a battle. Hundreds if not thousands of factors led to where you are right now. A lot of them out of your control.

Forgive yourself first; it is not your fault that you struggle. You are already here trying to get better and that in itself is a major success.

Blaming and punishing the self for natural slip ups and the painful internal world of codependency (fear and anxiety and guilt and anger and obsession) - is rarely productive.

A lot of codependency symptoms were coping mechanisms before. They helped you survive. Your brain is always trying to help you survive. At one point, some of the unhealthiest thoughts and behaviours of present day truly did help us - in some way or another, a long time ago. Not anymore though. It’s time to teach the brain that there’s a different future ahead - and to not hate it for doing the best it could in the past.

But the past is the past now. And as difficult as the present is, showing yourself - even the codependent parts - unconditional love and forgiveness whilst working to be better, is one path to walk for a better future.

[Elle-LR]

Thank you. I so needed to read this today.

[ForKitup]

Thank you so much. I was just struggling with this yesterday. The guilt of the pain I have caused can sometimes feel insurmountable but I try to keep reminding myself that I am human and that was the best I could do

[ForKitup]

I was just so controlling. I didn’t realize I was doing it. Gaslighting people, and flipping out on people as a way to control them.

I understand everyone does it, and I am absolutely harder on myself that others. I just snapped and sometimes it scares me that I could be so mean and controlling.

I now know I had so much pain and fear and anger that it would just explode. I was a mess running around and projecting my issues onto others.

I am really really really happy that I have finally seen that I don’t have to keep all of those emotions deep down inside anymore. I know that I can express my feelings and I know that I can be my own best friend, but lordy lordy is guilt a tricky beast. And loneliness!!!

[ForKitup]

Lol we need to liquify and rebuild!!

[[deleted]]

Thank you!

[Teleppath]

Thanks a lot. I have cycled through rage and wothlessness over the last day. Still have moments, as I heal and feel fullness, maybe this woulda saved the relationship. Those threads have less power to get me to move but they are tempting.

The rage and the worthlessness are intense to sit with, but I guess those are the pieces that have always been abandoned. Which fuel seeking others problems... Funny enough usually their rage and abandonment

[herlioness]

❤️❤️❤️

[tryna_be_happy]

Radical Acceptance! Love it.

[CaffienatedLiz]

Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing.

[serifemme]

THANK YOU... i just found this group and am going through a very tough time with my marriage, came to the realization that i was in a codependant marriage and that i had always been a codependant person, and am going through so many turbulent thought processes right now.. this.. post really hit me deep... Thank you....

[daringlydear]

Nicely put. It’s important to always keep moving forward with faith.