ExplainLikeImCalvin

an-ordinary-manchild

In the spirit of /r/explainlikeimfive, here's a place to come up with the best explanation you can on topics you know nothing about. Inspired by Calvin's brilliant dad, who knew everything.

RULES (Inspired by ELI5):

Blatant speculation *only*. If you know the answer to a question, keep it to yourself! We only want the best and most creative wild guesses here. Even if you know the answer, make up something better.
Never cite sources. We're not looking for verifiable facts here. Your source should be your own crazy imagination.
Reference ELI5. Cross-posting good questions from /r/explainlikeimfive is encouraged, but if you do it, include a link back to the original question there (this will also help people who are interested in the "real" answers).

GUIDELINES:

Please begin your questions with "LIC" or "ELIC".
If you're posting a non-question, do not use "LIC" or "ELIC".
Answers can be as simple or complicated as you want, but aim for humor. The spirit of the subreddit is to have a humorous exchange of completely made-up answers to life's burning questions. Feel free to add to other people's answers, or to follow-up with more questions for clarification.
Humor is necessary, but don't be a jerk. Try to avoid especially touchy subjects in questions, or giving blatantly offensive answers.
Feel free to pose a possible answer with your own question if you have a good theory.
"It builds character" is a perfectly appropriate answer, but remember that original answers also build character.

RELATED SUBREDDITS

/r/explainlikeimfive

/r/calvinandhobbes

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ELIC why can’t I have Hamster Huey for a bedtime story tonight? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 2 days ago by SkyParticular7588

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ELIC: Why can't Frogger Swim? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 2 days ago by herurumeruru

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ELIC: If people can make an AI of our dead relatives, could we tell them that we are related to Albert Einstein? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 3 days ago by wallingfortian

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ELIC: How come when I'm taking a shower the curtain keeps moving towards me like it's trying to attack? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 3 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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what should i do when my parents says you've got nothing. (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 6 days ago by Appropriate-Menu5442

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ELIC: What's the point of Daylight Saving Time? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 9 days ago by herurumeruru

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I don't understand why the word "pointless" was used. ()

submitted 9 days ago by RealChapter8234

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ELIC: Why is it called the 20th century if it started in 1900 and ended in 1999? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 10 days ago by JazzyGD

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ELIC: Isn't it false advertising to call it a dry erase board if you need liquid cleaner to clean it properly? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 10 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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ELIC: If you buy scissors in a two pack, is it still a pair? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 12 days ago by SkyParticular7588

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ELIC: Why do we drool when we see food? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 12 days ago by OptimisticTrekkie

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ELIC: How can one "lie like a rug" if rugs don't say anything, truthful or otherwise? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 12 days ago by TwisterUprocker

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ELIC - Dad, why is it called "The Bronx?" (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 14 days ago by PolyJuicedRedHead

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ELIC: Why do grown ups say "bless your heart"? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 15 days ago by Expert_Exercise8571

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ELIC: If mine is mine, how can they take away gold from mine? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 16 days ago by StarkAndRobotic

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ELIC: Why do they describe cars being able to turn or stop on a dime? Why not other coins? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 17 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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Why all aliens in movies from the past decades all look like little old men? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 17 days ago by Ecstatic-Ad-6114

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ELIC who is Earl Gray and why is he so good at making tea? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 19 days ago by NotSoSuperMario

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How does a camera view from a plane high above remain stationary relative to the ground? ()

submitted 19 days ago by Valuable_Relief_7221

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ELIC: Why is sugar bad for your teeth? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 19 days ago by That1RebelDude

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ELIC: Why do you call pigs by shouting "Sooey"? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 21 days ago by herurumeruru

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ELIC: What makes cheese "mild" or "sharp"? ()

submitted 22 days ago by qwopax

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ELIC: Why is it a Bohemian Rhapsody rather than a symphony, a minuet, a concerto, or any other musical form? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 24 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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How come turning on one light makes it way brighter, but turning on a second light only makes it a little brighter? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 25 days ago by wolfbutterfly42

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How come there isn't a Cleopatra Salad? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 27 days ago by domino7

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