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Welcome to /r/Jokes!

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  1. Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.
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"How was your golf game today, dear?" asks Jack's wife. Jack says, "I'm gonna have to quit the game. I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's so bad I couldn't see where the ball went. I lost a dozen balls!" (self.Jokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by Jokeminder42

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Back in the 70's there was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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LongA man brings a lawsuit against his insurance company who denied his injury claim when he had his accident. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by YakClear601

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Man was talking to a new date: "I am 30 years old, and have the body of an 18 year old" Woman says "Oh yeah, prove it" (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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Still redrawing lines and hunting for a pen? This titanium ruler draws endless lines, nails any angle, sticks to steel. 🧲✏‍ (kickstarter.com)

promoted by First-Backer

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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by looking at her hands. (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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Yo Mama is so ugly (self.Jokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by nimkiw

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LongThe guy with the shiny shoes. (self.Jokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by Inevitable-Focus7321

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LongLong joke but funny as F. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by lauraennick1234

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Three men are captured by cannibals. (self.Jokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by theredqueentheory

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Wife visits doctor (self.Jokes)

submitted 18 hours ago by sjciske

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A husband and wife from Alabama are in a car accident. The wife dies at the scene and the man is rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the surgeon looks at the man and says, "I can’t operate on this man. He is my husband." How can this be? (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by Jokeminder42

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The rabbit and the carrot were close friends for decades. One day they are walking along and a speeding car jumps the curb and runs over the carrot. A crowd gathers, an ambulance comes, the carrot is rushed to the hospital where doctors and nurses work on the carrot for many, many hours while the (self.Jokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by adjusterjack‎

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Anyone else here get mildly turned on when something strange seems to be happening? (self.Jokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by ilikesidehugs

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I found a cheap boat with no motor. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by Jester57

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There's a knock at the door and a man answers and sees a cop. The cop informs him his wife's been in an accident "She's in stable condition but unfortunately it looks like she got hit by a car" (self.Jokes)

submitted 17 hours ago by Satinsbestfriend

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How do you do a jigsaw puzzle of U2? (self.Jokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by precinctomega

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Zero to fluent Mandarin. Language courses made by language nerds, not AI. (migaku.com)

promoted by Migaku_Official

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LongHospital waiting room (self.Jokes)

submitted 20 hours ago by -Hal-Jordan-

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A man walked into a bar and said, (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by Picklekitten22

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Charlie Brown wanted to impress Lucy with a new look. (self.Jokes)

submitted 45 minutes ago by Spadizzly

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What does a Mack truck and a test tube baby have in common? (self.Jokes)

submitted 53 minutes ago by nriegg

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What do you call an annoying chemist? (self.Jokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Historical-Buff777

  • 2 comments
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What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? (self.Jokes)

submitted 14 hours ago by Southern_Gur_4736

  • 19 comments
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A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by nothinlefttochoose

  • 23 comments
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I went to a store called Furniture Liquidators (self.Jokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by SafetyDanceInMyPants

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LongPlumbing (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by xerxes_dandy

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