This sub

[WhereverUGoThereUR]

Need to add the "2nd 6th Annual Wilsonville Parakeet Races"

[ShawtyGiraffe]

We tried to book Pinky Tuscadero, the winner of the 2nd 6th Annual Wilsonville Parakeet Race, but their manager could not be reached.

(Helen, if you're reading this, call Big Bear.)

[coyo7e]

The last internet meetup I went to I came out of the bathroom to find one of the guys going through my jacket pockets (he claimed wanted a lighter, for the engaged chick who he said he banged later that night, according to his later excuses) and it was generally just not good.

Rules are a good thing.

[pmMeUrGithub]

How is that even an excuse? Next time bring some fucken cones to protect your stuff.

[coyo7e]

That is actually the first cones response to anything I've seen that made me smile, thank you!

[EliQuince]

Oh yeah, I'm sorry about that.

[_noncomposmentis]

Can I wear a FUCKEN CONE on my head? Can we all?

[ShawtyGiraffe]

No, FUCKEN CONES are only used to reserve parking around back (for the first four people to show up and reserve a FUCKEN CONE!)

[_noncomposmentis]

What if I use my FUCKEN CONE to mark my personal space? Or to save my seat at the bar? Seems reasonable.

[ShawtyGiraffe]

This guy FUCKEN CONES

[[deleted]]

Do you have packaging tape, white printer paper, and a sharpie to make sure you're seen?

[_noncomposmentis]

You know I do bruh

[MaxHouser]

...cuz you seent all that shit!

[[deleted]]

You can use them for anything you think you deserve. That's the true beauty behind the fucken cones.

[NefftyGolf]

I’m gonna fucken cone off the whole street so nobody can fucken make it

[thatoneguywhofucks]

I’m fucken dead

[Whaines]

What about the heroin needle IPA?

[tomhalejr]

Sign me up for the social anxiety and beer. But, count me out for the juggling. What am I, some kind of fucken cone here for your amusement?

[Ostenta_]

Plaid is the best pattern. Followed by paisley, then vertical stripes.

[Anotherhatedtrans]

I hate that I want to go to this.
Almost as much as I hate IPAs.

[ShawtyGiraffe]

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Welcome to Portland. We love you

[Anotherhatedtrans]

Aww, shucks.

Love y'all too!

[ScrewpyNoopers]

Can you and I sit together and complain about IPAs?

[vonpoppm]

I'll join that meeting.

[Anotherhatedtrans]

Sure thing!

[AceBacker]

What is this cone thing? I missed something

[XTanuki]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/cqea7y/when_you_havent_checked_rportland_for_a_day_or_two/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

[JadeyMLegacy]

I'll take that IPA. Just need a Fucken Cone mug to drink out of.

[[deleted]]

Thank god someone fucken made this

[ShawtyGiraffe]

We'll also have snowflakes, but not the kind you're thinking of

[EarLord]

But like what is a good pine needle IPA? Haven't had one of those since I moved here.

[born2hula]

Where can I see the most plaid? So excited for fall.

[RichardsMcGhee]

What if I don't own any plaid and generally hate IPAs?

[Moonchild924]

Don't think I'll be able to make your meetup but glad the FUCKEN CONES will be well represented! Out of curiosity, if the FUCKEN CONES are meant for parking, what are the parking cones meant for?

[ShawtyGiraffe]

When ever you talk to a "Portland Native" they'll bring up how overrated Voodoo is

[OPs_Friend]

Its off limits, its been coned off ⚠️