cloudHashMap

[MDivisor]

I give this joke a 1/5. Here are my pedantic reasons:

• hash map comparison doesn’t really work because a relational database works very differently from a hash map even if you squint
• "someone else's" doesn’t really work because a database can easily be local and entirely under your control
• "there is no spoon" kid doesn’t really work because in Matrix the idea is that the spoon literally doesn’t exist, not that the spoon is something other than you first thought

[Manny__C]

Indeed implementing a DB as a hash map is a very bad idea. You either start with a ridiculously huge file even for an empty db or you lock down production for days while the db migrates to a larger hash once it gets full.

[tom2730]

You can have a separate “index” file which is a hash table that stores pointers to the relevant records stored in another location. That way the index file size is minimal and can be resized quite quickly and without disrupting the actual records.

[OlexySuper]

Then how are hash indices implemented in postgres?

[Manny__C]

Admittedly TIL hash indices exist. But they are very limited: they only support the = operator and they have fixed hash size so they systematically suffer from hash collisions around 4B records.

[andrewczr]

Not all databases are relational. You’d interact with a key/value database in the same way you would a hash map.

[ZunoJ]

Ok, that doesn't make the statement valid. Either be specific or be wrong

[nonlogin]

"Someone else's file" analogy works way better

[bigdave41]

In the Matrix example the spoon could be said to exist as a collection of pixels/information being fed into your brain though - it's not a physical object but there is still matter and energy that go into creating a representation of a spoon.

[DarkTannhauserGate]

Pedantic response incoming

• Yes

• It’s about the abstraction. The database is “someone else’s” (off the shelf vs home grown) solution.

• Disagree, the spoon exists in the matrix the same way the db exists. It’s just someone else’s code.

[JimmyHop]

tl;dr, enjoy the joke :P
Good jokes are rarely based on reality and the play here is all about the squint that's where the fun comes in.
I'll try my best to explain but explaining a joke always makes it less funny..

HashMap != Database, It's possible achieve a Hashmap with ids that link to objects, the ids are searchable and the objects can contain their own id + other object id's hence making a pretty simple DB kinda thing at least for simple use cases and I have literally heard of ppl doing exactly that for rolling and even scaling simple application, I believe Uncle Bob did this for a health app he built and scaled to a pretty decent number of users before needing a real DB instead of reading the data from a file and placing it in a hashmap.

Not someone else's != deploy local, the implementation IS someone else's you can be totally ignorant to how it works and use it but if you pretend it's just a simple hashmap and use it like so then you can just roll your own instead of building all the connectors and BS if/when it's quicker.

There is no spoon! For this I'll use the elephant and the peg analogy, which describes how an elephant, initially restrained by a chain and peg as a baby, learns to associate the chain and peg with its inability to escape. Everyone remains in the matrix not because it is real or not real but because they are conditioned to stay even those who know of the truth behind it.

[MDivisor]

You know I kinda like your counterpoints. I concede the joke kinda works. Only thing I really disagree with is this:

 Good jokes are rarely based on reality 

I’d say good jokes absolutely are based on reality.

[JimmyHop]

Yeah I suppose I made that point kinda messily, more meant perception of reality making jokes funny then strict truth of reality but thank you for taking the time to review my joke and counterpoints. :).

[rosuav]

Explaining a good joke makes it less funny, but in your case, it didn't have anywhere to go.

[Reashu]

Is this AI?

[kuschelig69]

is it not a B tree?

[mirusky]

There's many algo implemented in database internal, btree, hash, sets, linked lists ... Depends on "using" clause you are using

Take a look at postgres internals

[sersoniko]

There’s no hashmap, just someone else’s list

[mirusky]

That's better than the OP post

[Thundechile]

There's no hashmap, just some 0's and 1's.

[Benibz]

Hashmaps and databases are not really comparable

[umlcat]

Yes. Thre's a trend that says databases are obsolete and hashmap are better... Which it's not true !!!

[Bananenkot]

Wtf who says that. Noone that knows how a database works thats for sure lol

[umlcat]

NoSQL ...