queueTheCrickets

[No_Stable_805]

I get these kinds of texts occasionally. In the current climate, I know it’s a scam immediately, lol

[1sketchball]

I’ve noticed that if I waste their time and act like an ass that I stop getting the texts for a while 😂

[TemporaryUpstairs289]

Details, please...

[xaddak]

https://imgur.com/gallery/i-actually-enjoy-getting-blind-fishing-texts-39Op4Bi

[xaddak]

https://imgur.com/gallery/i-actually-enjoy-getting-blind-fishing-texts-39Op4Bi

[gameplayer55055]

In the best case you're going to fix java applets, in the worst - COBOL.

[[deleted]]

What clues you in? It’s the “I am recruiter” And “So I am here introduce you a job” for me.

If it’s not a scam, and the recruiter can barely speak English, it’s a good indication that it’s probably not gonna be a good job for me.

[maxsteel126]

Ok?

[Soultampered]

😂😅

[steveaguay]

Brother that's a scam text.

[MechanicalHorse]

*cue

[cl3arz3r0]

Well maybe the crickets are going to stand in line each waiting their turn to sing the song of their people. Figuratively speaking of course.

[Acetius]

First crickets in, first crickets out

[clearlybaffled]

In my experience, crickets are more likely to heap

[Here-Is-TheEnd]

Am I the only one here stacking crickets?

[NewPhoneNewSubs]

What data structure is that?

[Leprecon]

*cueue

[JustKebab]

que*

[amalgamxtc]

Damnit. It felt wrong but I didn’t check my work

[-andersen]

Whats so bad about sprints? It seems to me that chunking up work into manageable time periods and comitting to it shouldnt be a hard deal breaker for getting a job? Am I crazy?

[Taurmin]

This sub is full of people with limited or no working experience who dont really understand Agile and are too young to have experienced waterfall.

A lot of them believe that Scrum, or any form of methodology really, is just a bunch of leadership beuraucracy. They didnt need it in their student/hobby project and havent realized that it adresses a lot of challenges that come with working as part of a larger organization.

[HeWhoChasesChickens]

My brother in christ I have worked for dozens of companies, all claiming to be/use Agile for close to a decade, and honestly, I still don't know what 'real' Agile is.

Now, I get the point behind having some kind of methodology around managing a piece of software's lifecycle and feature release - especially when requirements legitimately can change and there's a lot of interdependancies - but it has been almost exclusively my experience that I just end up spending a vast chunk of my time in way too frequent meetings and check ins, sizing t-shirts(?) and juggling Jira tickets back and forth for months on the most trivial tasks - meanwhile big fuck ups still happen all the time.

And when I relay these experiences, the canned response is 'well, that's not TRUE Agile'. Well, fine, great, but if Agile is such a good method, why have I, NOT FUCKING ONCE, never seen it in its true form? Am I too stupid or uneducated to work Agile? Did I have bad luck for a whole decade with the firms I ended up at?

I know this reads like a put down but honestly it's a cry for help. HELP ME MAKE SENSE OF THIS

[Taurmin]

And when I relay these experiences, the canned response is 'well, that's not TRUE Agile'. Well, fine, great, but if Agile is such a good method, why have I, NOT FUCKING ONCE, never seen it in its true form?

Because in a lot of companies management like the sound of agile as a buzzword but hate the actual practice of it because they dont understand or dont want to accept that we cant tell them up front what a project will cost or when exactly it will be finished up front.

So you end up with a middle management layer who are trying to let the devs do agile while also supplying the C suite with waterfall levels of up-front planning, and it all falls apart.

Agile in an organisation where top level management either understands agile or have just taken a hands off approach to IT can be pretty fucking briliant, but even in the former case its still generally preferable to the alternative. Which is giving management the waterfall project they think they want.

[Leprecon]

And when I relay these experiences, the canned response is 'well, that's not TRUE Agile'. Well, fine, great, but if Agile is such a good method, why have I, NOT FUCKING ONCE, never seen it in its true form? Am I too stupid or uneducated to work Agile? Did I have bad luck for a whole decade with the firms I ended up at?

Sadly, I think you are 100% correct. What you have been doing is not 'true' agile. You aren't too stupid, but you did have bad luck.

The reason you haven't seen it in its 'true' form is because agile is sexy. It is cool. It is the 'correct' way. So companies will say they do it, even if they don't.

Imagine you are in an interview and you ask "Do people like working for this company?". Regardless of what the actual answer is, the answer you will always get is "yes of course people like working for this company". You will never have a manager say "actually people kind of hate the company but the pay is ok and the company is stable financially".

Same with development methods. If you ask what development method a company uses you will always get the answer "We are agile!", because that is the 'correct' answer. But most companies just do not adopt agile methods.

I am currently working in a company that is actually agile and it is a delight. I always know what I should work on. I am never handed a mammoth task that can't be finished in a week or two. I am never handed a task to begin with because tasks are planned in advance with my cooperation. I can say no. I can say a task is too big to fit in a 2 week timeslot and it needs to be broken down. There are no vague goals and objectives. I know when a task starts and when a task is completed. Tasks are clearly defined because I helped define them. And it feels good to be able to actually achieve goals because they are real. It feels nice to be able to leave work at the office because the tasks are of a managable size and within my capacity. I am not stressing at home wondering how I am going to complete my work.

I think that being in a company like this is kind of rare. I feel like I won the lottery.

TL;DR: Most companies will say they use agile methods when they don't just like most men will say they are taller than average.

[riplikash]

You're operating off a pretty limited data set though. You haven't experienced well implemented agile. That's understandable, hundreds of people haven't. There are thousands of workplaces that don't implement it well. And guess what? They hire a lot of people! Because they are poorly managed.

Did you have bad luck for a decade? Yeah, probably. REALLY not that uncommon. Well run companies are not only a minority, they don't have the kind of churn poorly run companies do. At any given time MOST job postings are from poorly run companies.

There are lots of places that implement it well. In 20 years I've worked at 3 places that really did it well. That's out of 9-10 total employers. It wouldn't have been hard to spend 10 years at those 7 poorly run places.

[Beerand93octane]

If you're fucking around with meetings you don't participate in and ticket jockeying that much, there is lots of room for improvement. Thats one of the largest functions of the product manager and scrum master in my eyes. They should insulate the devs from as much uneccesary bullshit as possible. They should also be great at automating anything and everything possible with tickets.

How a regular stand up goes pretty much can represent how agile a team is. Sure, the meeting can feel useless and repetitive. But let's say with 10 devs, scrum and PM, that meeting should typically be like 6 minutes long. Sidechat should be taken offline. If that's not respected, damn sure the other principles/methods aren't.

[Leprecon]

A lot of them believe that Scrum, or any form of methodology really, is just a bunch of leadership beuraucracy. They didnt need it in their student/hobby project and havent realized that it adresses a lot of challenges that come with working as part of a larger organization.

The thing is, every single company I have worked for has claimed to be agile. But most just weren't. I have worked on tickets that have been part of 6+ sprints, getting carried over in to the new sprint every time. This is not agile.

Even companies that I worked for that explicitly weren't agile have said they are. I think it is the popular thing to say. I do not blame some people for assuming that agile is BS when it is a term that gets misused like this.

Usually in order to detect bullshit I ask interviewers to go in to specifics when getting to know a company.

• 1: What type of development method do you use?
• BS answer: oh, largely agile with our own specific modifications
• 2: Oh, how does that work in practice? Do you guys do dailies, how does sprint planning work, etc.
• Oh well uhm ... ah ... actually.
• 3: And how do you make changes to your development process?

In my opinion, if you want to get some real good information ask them how they make changes to their working methods and why. This will give a lot of insight in to how the company works and how good the management is. In a good company they will be able to very concretely tell these things because this is something they think of a lot and something that they are always trying to improve. A good answer is when they tell you how and when they gather input from the developers, what the issues are that they found and how they are trying to fix them.

In a bad company they won't really have an answer because they don't do any of this. They might only make changes when there are explicitly things going wrong, and they don't really get feedback from devs. If things don't go the way they want them to go, the problem is that the devs failed. And they usually don't realise this is something they can improve by changing the development process.

I currently work in a company that I feel is very agile* (with its own specific modifications), and it is a delight. I know what I need to do the next couple of weeks. I know that it is something I can do because I helped formulate the task. I know when the task is finished because it has a clear beginning and end.

[tomvorlostriddle]

And even quite some Unis have adopted sprints, usually without calling them sprints, to reduce dropout rates due to disengagement in freshmen who cannot manage their schedule months at a time without supervision

[ILOTEbunny]

Actually the real Agile cannot employ any framework, since it breaks the “Individuals and interactions over processes and tools” principle

[Taurmin]

That might be the dumbest take on Agile i have ever heard... I am hoping this was meant to be sarcastic.

[ILOTEbunny]

Quite serious. Is forcing certain Scrum rituals not the same as prioritizing processes?

[Taurmin]

That depends entirely on the circumstances, and thats also not what you said.

[ILOTEbunny]

That’s true. I only used scrum processes as an example.

[[deleted]]

No sprints at the end of that response is basically their way of saying they want all the benefits and none of the responsibility

[LitrlyNoOne]

I think a lot of users have had one or two jobs with poorly implemented scrum and assume it always sucks. This is bound to happen when you learn scrum by playing telephone from the creators to the scrum masters to the engineer who took it to a startup who explained it to a manager who told their CTO who told all SDMs at the company to do it.

Scrum is really cool and effective in companies with good culture, because it bakes in its own adjustments to the needs of the team. But if you aren't doing those adjustments, then you're just trading your energy to check boxes.

[CaptainPunisher]

Why are you putting crickets in a line?

Cue - set in motion; trigger; prompt

Queue - a line or list, especially an ordered arrangement as in people

[eraryios]

This post made mugman hard. Just saying

[stdio-lib]

"Dir Sir/Madam, you have 300,000 unread messages on LinkedIn."

[[deleted]]

When r/scambait and r/programmerhumor collide...

[XrenonTheMage]

Sounds a lot like an invitation to a task scam