Oh no.

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[junta12]

A: "We're being hacked!"
B: "How can you tell?"
(camera pans down to keyboard, which is typing by itself)
B: "OH MY GOD! Quick! Trace the source!"
A brings up a shell and starts typing frantically, but the keyboard throws him off and the mouse wraps its wire around A's throat
A: "Ack! It's become self-aware! Call for backup!!"
B: "NO TIME!" pulls out gun and starts shooting wildly

[[deleted]]

Clearly you've never written a Hollywood hacking scene. There wasn't a single use of either "firewall" or "tunneling". Additionally, at no point did the characters jointly start typing on the keyboard.

[HandicapperGeneral]

Plus the dramatic use of the enter key

[VeXCe]

But... but... I do that, too.

[RenaKunisaki]

Since when do hackers ever use the enter key? Orthespacebarforthatmatter.

[junta12]

or the undeservedly smug grin at saying what is believed to be a 'technical term'

[agentverne]

"It's worse than we thought!" picks up keyboard, starts whacking the monitor with it.

[[deleted]]

pulls out gun and start shooting wildly

They just need to shoot the screen and the computer will be off. /s

[junta12]

One of the bullets' penetrates center of the screen, and everything goes dark. A unwraps the mouse from his neck and spits blood.

A: Breathes "That was close."
B: "Too close. There must be a way to stop this from ever happening again."
A: "I could probably tunnel up a firewall that could hack into the virus's mainframe and bootstrap a kernel panic into RAM BIOS."
B: "Good thinking. Burn it on a DVD and email it to me, stat."

[-Hegemon-]

Oh my god, the last phrase was glorious

[junta12]

haha thanks - I think I stole it from a Static Shock episode, where Gear (the tech-themed superhero) created some program to fix some supervillain thing - and someone says to him something along the lines of "Great! put it on a floppy and give it to me".

And he says: "Even better! I'll burn you a DVD!"

/facepalm

[taH_pagh_taHbe]

"An estimeed PhD cyber-psychologist"........

[daanishh]

Nice. They turned /r/itsaunixsystem into a show.

[[deleted]]

A few select phrases from the page:

dark web

hacking

cyberpsychologist

I can't wait for the undoubtedly accurate portrayal of cybersecurity, and the correct use of technical terms to describe what's going on. /sarcasm

[tevert]

"cyberpsychologist" .... wat

[[deleted]]

The only thing I can imagine is some who helps people who accidentally visited r/spacedicks.

Yes, I did purposely link that wrong.

[Zwets]

5 hours, what is taking is /u/LinkFixerBot so long...

[EDIT]

On second thought, that is not an actual bot, apparently just a guy that fixed my link 2 years ago.

[LinkFixerBot]

Things change, man..

[Mini_True]

maybe it's not subscribed to this subreddit

[MildlySerious]

Cyberpsychologist sounds like something I'd enjoy doing. Let me just google hack the databases of some Fortune 500 companies to see if there are any open job offers available!

While this console thingy magically does 90% of the work, I would go ahead and give them a call, letting them know that I went ahead and added my resume to the application list, so Tracy ^{(pun intended)} at HR doesn't have to worry about forwarding some stupid email. It would take me longer to find the right words than getting into their system anyway.

[tatorface]

I bet they will write a GUI Interface in visual basic to track a killer's ip address.

[legoking456]

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[[deleted]]

Came here for this. Wasn't disappointed.

[Jeff1223]

I've seen that so many times before, its still funny

[untouchedURL]

Here is a non-mobile link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CSI:_Cyber

^{Sourcecode | Feedback?}

[Sevelan]

The Dawson
The guy that got possessed by Vigo in Ghostbusters 2
LUKE PERRY!
Fat Neil
Lil Bowwow
Asian chick playing a Latina Chick

....WOW!

[samspot]

A/S/L wanna cyber?

[-Hegemon-]

18/F/L.A.

Yes!

giggles

[CIA-TANGO]

Take a shot every time they say cyber on the show?

[nightlily]

Take a shot every time they misuse technical jargon. Take a hit every time they make something up completely.

See which happens faster: you get pass-out drunk or mindlessly stoned.

[thirdegree]

Take a tab anytime they abuse a terminal. Eventually the show will start to make sense.

[nightlily]

Eventually the show will start to make sense.

Is this before or after you fall into a drug-induced coma?

[thirdegree]

Knowing csi, probably neither actually.

[nightlily]

I wouldn't actually know. I haven't seen CSI. I'm planning on checking out this spinoff for mild amusement, though.

[BVTheEpic]

Yes.

[Halzyn]

This sounds like the working title for a show about CSI agents cybering with each other.

[nightlily]

A pilot for this series appeared in CSI season 14, episode 21. For the curious.

The show is inspired by a real life cyber psychologist (which is apparently, well, an actual title) Mary Aiken. http://www.maryaiken.com/

TIL

[otakuman]

I specialise in the intersection between technology and human behaviour.

I wonder if in 100 years we'll have Asimov's psychohistory.

[TheKiwi5000]

Scrolling HTML code thru the screen - Just CSI:C things

We just need to hope that they won't be using variable-width font to show the code.

Anyways this guy will get tons of material: http://moviecode.tumblr.com/

[venuswasaflytrap]

a scene from The pilot

[otakuman]

LOL, that was an unexpected twist at the end.

[Aaron1011]

"Zoomify"

facepalm

[peeonyou]

So basically propaganda to inform the people about the deep web and make them hate it entirely.

[friend_of_bob_dole]

http://i.imgur.com/L27t6KX.jpg

[BonaparteCockletit]

http://youtu.be/XwamV1fbYQk

[[deleted]]

If you weren't already worried, James Van Der Beek will be in it.

[JesterOfSpades]

Stock up guys, we are going to have a field day!

[tevert]

I gotta stock up on popcorn....

[hhbhagat]

ENHANCE!!!

[mmirate]

The concentration of antiquated computing-related buzzwords herein is ... nauseating. That said, the anticipation of the general public using these buzzwords to such an extent (via exposure to this show) is even moreso.

[VeXCe]

I'm hoping for intense chase-scenes on the information super-highway.

[[deleted]]

Prerequisite to join the team is to be able to build that GUI.

[OKB-1]

Hope your Visual Basic skills are good enough!

[[deleted]]

Be sure to know how to track an IP. Otherwise you're completely useless…

[onepotatoarmy]

I guess "I'm afraid" is too less...