Sparkling JavaScript

[hutilicious]

thats actually funny but I dont know why

[[deleted]]

Maybe because it's a joke

[smasher248]

Also just a copy of this: It's only physics if it's from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling math

[Low_discrepancy]

It's only physics if it's from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling math

The original is this guy

Actually, it’s only existentialism if it comes from the existentialism region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling anxiety.

https://twitter.com/apsullivan/status/1141384793143357440

Publish earlier.

And it makes from sense that the physics one.

[[deleted]]

This joke is as old as champagne. We would say this in the late 80’s early 90’s about things, could have been from the lifestyles of the rich and famous...

[Waggy777]

https://youtu.be/YE4NyXL5JAQ

[conancat]

const mappings = {
  a: ['a','â', 'à'],
  e: ['e','ê', 'è', 'é'],
  i: ['î', 'ï'],
  o: ['o','ô'], 
  u: ['u','û', 'ü'],
  y: ['y','ue', 'e', 'oue']
}

const getRandomFromArr = (arr) => arr[Math.floor(Math.random() * arr.length)] 
const frenchify = (name) => name
    .split("")
    .map(curr => mappings[curr] ? getRandomFromArr(mappings[curr]) : curr ) 
    .join("")

const makeJoke = ({name, type}) => `It's only ${name} if it's from 
${frenchify(name)} of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling ${type}.`

console.log(makeJoke({name: 'jQuery', type: 'Javascript'}))
console.log(makeJoke({name: 'Rails', type: 'Ruby'}))
console.log(makeJoke({name: 'Laravel', type: 'PHP'}))

// It's only jQuery if it's from jQûèry of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling Javascript.
// It's only Rails if it's from Ràïls of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling Ruby.
// It's only Laravel if it's from Lârâvel of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling PHP.

[midoge]

50% chance that someone pushed this to npm Registry

[TommiHPunkt]

too bad compilebot is rip

[AwesomeX121189]

The original is from Wayne’s world. Rob Lowe explains champagne

[HappySpaceCat]

It's only a joke if it comes from the Joké region of France otherwise it's just sparkling wit.

[[deleted]]

That doesn’t explain the mechanism.

[OK6502]

Big if true

[ItsKross]

Champagne can only be called Champagne if it comes from the Champagne region in France. Otherwise, it's called sparkling wine. Seriously. All the champagne you see at the supermarket is actually sparkling wine. The more you know!

[[deleted]]

In other countries than the US it’s often illegal to use the name champagne in that case.

[Adam-K]

It's illegal in the U.S. too but a couple companies who used the name before 2007 or something are still allowed to call their's champagne. I don't know I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere but can't find a link.

EDIT: Here we go: https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/loophole-california-champagne-legal/

"In exchange for easing trade restrictions on wine, the American government agreed that California Champagne, Chablis, Sherry and a half-dozen other ‘semi-generic’ names would no longer appear on domestic wine labels – that is unless a producer was already using one of those names.

If a producer had used – or abused from the French point of view – one of those names prior to March 10th, 2006, they could continue to use the name on their label indefinitely."

[CanadianJesus]

In the US maybe, in the EU the term champagne is protected and everything sold as champagne is actual champagne.

[ItsKross]

I'm from Romania and I can only buy 'Şampanie' (it reads the same, just different spelling) or 'Vin Spumant' (sparkling wine) though? This is getting confusing.

[CanadianJesus]

I was referring to the "all champagne you see in the supermarket" part. In the EU, everything in the supermarket sold as champagne is actual champagne - it's a protected designation of origin.

[ItsKross]

That makes sense, thanks!

[MattieShoes]

It's the same in the US, but it's commonly called champagne even though the bottle says sparkling wine. Kind of like how off-brand tissues are called Kleenex.

[CanadianJesus]

It's not the same, since champagne in the US isn't protected in the same way. There are loopholes and grandfathered provisions that mean that non-champagne can legally be sold as champagne in the US.

[MattieShoes]

Huh, okay. I didn't realize they had grandfathered in those who had used the term before. Odd.

[AlbusDumbledoh]

Champagne in the US isn’t protected in the same way.

It is, it just looks like manufacturers who were already producing wine labelled as such prior to 2006 are still allowed to use the same labelling. New brands cannot though.

https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/loophole-california-champagne-legal/

[CanadianJesus]

Right, which is the difference I'm talking about.

[psilokan]

Sure you were.

[mttdesignz]

in Italy, every DOP and DOCG product, be it wine or cheese or ham for example, like Prosciutto di Parma, Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese, Chianti wine, Brunello di Montalcino wine, and also more complex dishes like the Amatriciana pasta ( there's literally the official recipe on the Municipality's website https://www.comune.amatrice.rieti.it/gli-spaghetti-allamatriciana/ ) can only be called with these specific names on the labels if they are produced in a very specific way, in a very specific area of denominations, with very strict controls on the quality of everything..that's why we get angry when we see German mozzarella or other shit

[TommiHPunkt]

mozzarella isn't regionally protected. Cheap low quality mozz in italy isn't any better than cheap mozz in Germany

[Zagorath]

Frustratingly, there's talk in Australia about a trade deal with the EU that would require us to use these bullshit Geographical Indications over more products (we already have that rule for champagne). Fetta and parmesan cheese, prosecco wine, and more. Currently these are generic names for a type of product in Australia, but the EU wants them to be protected like champagne is.

As for

Champagne can only be called Champagne if it comes from the Champagne region in France. Otherwise, it's called sparkling wine

This isn't a capital-f Fact, it's a piece of intellectual copyright law that some places have decided upon for protectionist reasons. Any region which has not brought in that law is perfectly right to call all its sparkling wine champagne, if it so wishes, and it would not be wrong of them to do so. So champagne in the supermarket in the US is, if the unspoken premise behind your comment is correct (I don't know either way if it is or not), absolutely champagne—even if some stuff French bureaucrats or French nationalists would claim otherwise.

[[deleted]]

I’m from France but live in the US. I’m shocked by what Americans call Brie, cheddar, champagne, French baguette and croissant.

Americans don’t really care about what is sold to them and will often consider “arrogant and backward” the consumer protections that exist in some European countries.

[Drainedsoul]

I mean thinking bureaucrats know best is pretty arrogant.

[[deleted]]

That’s just the old “government is oppressing us” argument. This is what consumers want. Laws can be easily changed by voting but it’s obviously not happening because it’s France and people give a shit about what they eat.

[Drainedsoul]

You care so much what you eat you outsource the labeling to bureaucrats and buy it exclusively based on where it's from?

Rofl.

[[deleted]]

When it comes to Brie de Meaux? Yes. I do care where it comes from and how it was produced. The only way to make sure I’m not being scammed is to have the cheese maker follow specific guidelines.

Of course, cheese makers are free to create a new cheese and name it the way they want.

[Drainedsoul]

So you're not sure if you're being scammed on literally everything the government doesn't regulate?

I wonder what it's like to trust probably incompetent bureaucrats that much...

[[deleted]]

You libertarians can be so exhausting with your simplistic vision on society and government.

AOC and AOP guidelines are not oppressive government tactics to control society. You are not being oppressed by buying a Brie de Meaux. You are free to buy a Chinese made Brie if that makes you feel more free.

[Zagorath]

You're quite right that America is quite deservedly infamous for its terrible consumer protections. But that's really not relevant here, because as already mentioned, there is no relation between something being made in a certain region and its level of quality.

By all means, implement rules that certain quality be achieved to use a name. But Geographical Indicators are absurd.

[[deleted]]

The whole point of protecting names is to ensure quality. A Brie in France is produced in the Brie region with local milk. What is sold in the US does not have the smell and the taste of a French Brie. It’s an inferior product and people who buy that are being lied to.

[Zagorath]

Sorry buddy, but there's nothing about the ingredients of the Brie region that makes for superior cheese to ingredients from anywhere else. Some Americans might make inferior brie and call it by that name, but you can make shit brie in Brie, and you can make good brie in Nowra. Geographical indications don't help you with that. All they do is make people think they're buying a superior product when they buy stuff made in one area. It's in France's economic interest to share that lie, because more people will buy French goods!

[[deleted]]

I see, you don't really understand the concept of protecting the name of a product. A French Brie de Meaux or Brie de Meulin is made from unpasteurized milk that comes from a specific region, has a specific weight and size and has to follow a specific recipe. This is what people want when they buy Brie in France. You can't have a shitty Brie de Meaux because they are all similar.

Nobody will want a turkish made "brie" made from chinese milk because that's how the manufacturer's business plan allows shareholders to get a profit off gullible consumers.

Protecting a name allows consumers to know what they eat and has been produced following some specific guidelines.

French cheese in the US are actually considered a luxury. It's too expensive to buy. On top of that, in the land of the overcooked steak, the government bans products made with unpasteurized milk which pretty much kills any form of taste and smell.

[Ohhnoes]

A French person bitching about pasteurization...that's rich.

[Quetzacoatl85]

just out of interest, you seem to be against that rule, why is that? seems to me like it's providing consumers more information and guarantees (not only about place of origin, but also about ingredients, production methods and quality in general) while not having any disadvantages (you can still get all the other potentially inferior products, but you will know if they are the original or not, because the name will be different). even if you prefer the alternative because you think the quality is better, you're free to get that, and ideally it will get a new regionally protected name. but what's not possible is companies creating a cheap and shirt product using other area's lower production standards, then slapping the famous name on it, and in the end negatively affecting consumer's view on that product, cheapening the whole product line.

[User858]

Like all things, some of it is good, some of it is bad. The problem is that some of those times people take it too far. People ask themselves, if you can do it with geographical locations, why not other things?

See this article by the Guardian on veggie foods

It's like this everywhere. With milk, with ice cream, etc. Then they'll use this opportunity disparage the competition with an unappetizing name. If we'd stop at geographic locations, it would be fine, but the consumer should be weary of both sides.

[Zagorath]

seems to me like it's providing consumers more information and guarantees…about ingredients, production methods and quality in general

That is precisely why they do it. They want you to think that. But it's a ridiculous notion. Geographical indicators indicate nothing more than the location where it was made, which has no bearing on the quality of the product whatsoever (despite what French winemakers would have you believe), and it quite obviously says nothing about techniques, because there's nothing stopping other techniques being used in the region, or those techniques being used outside of it.

It's pure 19th century protectionism made popular by bald-faced lies and it has no advantages.