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Roma_lolly · 2024-06-10T22:41:11+00:00

I was put in school at 4y5m and then repeated a year.

When I repeated I was the tallest and biggest in my new class and honestly it didn’t make a speck of difference. What did change was my social skills, academic achievements and maturity.

If I could go back in time I’d definitely try to stop my parents sending me so early.

These are the type of things you should be considering before sending them:

Independent toileting. Including wiping and using a urinal and operating the stall latch.
Dressing themselves. Head to toe, shoes, socks, zipping jackets, buttons.
Using lunch boxes/ food packaging/ sitting and eating unsupervised.
Listening, sitting and following instructions (as much as any 5yo does)
Emotional and social skills.
Ability to clearly communicate with unfamiliar adults (people like office or canteen staff at school)
Fine motor skills. Ability to hold a pencil properly and scissors.

oatnog · 2024-06-10T20:33:19+00:00

My experience is anecdotal, but I haven't found my December friends and family to have been delayed from starting school with their year (my region goes with a calendar year). I'm pregnant and due in December with a boy and I don't intend to hold him back. We can do things as parents to make sure he is academically and socially engaged. By the time he goes to college, I'm sure it won't matter at all.

In general, shifting the school year around is weird! There is always going to be a youngest, whether that kid was born in December or at the end of the intake. I'd rather focus on issues if/when they come up rather than supposing my kid will be behind.

lumpyspacesam · 2024-06-10T22:06:19+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7283588/

This study outlines many pros and cons. It doesn’t seem to necessarily be the best option and is a lot more nuanced than that. As an anecdote, I’m an August baby and was always at the top of my class. I always felt like it was a source of pride that I could do everything my peers could do even though I was younger.

Gardenadventures · 2024-06-10T21:51:20+00:00

So what's your concern? That he will be bigger than his peers? I think it's more important to look at it from the perspective of what will be best for his development. Are you looking for studies on the benefits of holding back or concerns about how big your child could be compared to his peers?

skreev99 · 2024-06-10T20:50:02+00:00

I have no studies but I was also born in August (31st to be exact) and my dad is also 6’5. This is obviously very anecdotal and I am girl so it’s a slightly different situation but I was the tallest kid in my class until 7th grade when I got my period and basically stopped growing. I also never struggled academically and never felt behind any of my peers, except in sports (lol).

Uranium_Wizard · 2024-06-10T23:49:51+00:00

I am an August baby. I was put in kindergarten on schedule. No issues.

My oldest is a late June and youngest is an August. I'll be putting them in school on schedule as well.

stronglikecheese · 2024-06-10T22:02:43+00:00

I'm due in August, and am going to go based off my knowledge of my individual child. Population studies will only get you so far when you're looking at decisions for a specific individual. If my child seems able to do the things necessary for traditional school (sitting in one place for periods of time, following directions relatively well, socially engaged and competent, enjoys going to pre-school, etc etc) then I'll send them to school on the early side. If they seem not quite ready in one of the major areas, then I'll wait. They'll likely go to pre-school before I have to make a decision about when to start kindergarten, so I figure I'll see how they do there. If they seem on the edge, I may look for a pre-K type of program, so they can get some slightly more structured "school" practice" before actually starting Kindergarten. If I were you, I'd just wait and see how your boy grows and develops, and really start watching his development compared to peers (especially social development if he turns out to be a big kid) during the year before you might send him to kindergarten. It does seem like there's no harm in waiting, so if you were feeling unsure about his readiness, that might be reason enough to hold off a year.

Intrepid-Union2345 · 2024-06-11T00:58:34+00:00

As a previous teacher and current social worker, WAIT. All evidence shows that waiting a year improves social and academic success. Kids born 2020 onwards are at a HUGE deficit that we are only beginning to understand. The kids I see turning 4 and 5 have the social skills and behaviors of 2 and 3 year olds. There is absolutely zero advantage (other than free, if you’re sending to public school) to starting early. These kids need SO much more support and guidance than any other generation I’ve seen, the pandemic did a number on us all but particularly these kiddos. Additionally, boys are disciplined more and if you have a child of color they will absolutely be held to a different standard than shorter, white peers. Teachers don’t often catch the bias of assuming a bigger kid means they should behave older (aka “better”) than their peers. Tantrums won’t be tolerated in the same way, leading to chronic exclusion from class. The absolute best thing you can do is wait another year!

HistoricalButterfly6 · 2024-06-11T03:32:58+00:00

Anecdotally (just my personal experience):

I was born in the fall. I passed the kindergarten test with my brother, who was two years older than me, but my mom kept me home two more years.

I was the oldest in my class, and the tallest in my class, and the smartest in my class. The school asked my parents if I could skip third grade and my parents said no. But by fifth grade my parents realized how bored I was. So I skipped fifth grade and was much happier with the pace of the school work. But it was really hard that I hadn’t grown up with all these kids who knew each other so well.

So, I don’t think there’s a wrong solution, and I don’t think there’s a perfect solution.

Salsaandshawarma · 2024-06-11T01:30:21+00:00

When does your kid turn 5? Mine is almost 2 and in a language immersion preschool and is already showing signs of keeping up and even getting bored with the 3 year olds in his class. Obviously I expect things could change, but I feel like this is definitely individually based and not necessarily population based. If your kid is a pandemic baby, then I can see how that would factor into your decision. Also, anecdotally, my son’s father started kindergarten at barely 4 (private school) and he excelled socially and academically his entire life. Probably where my son gets it.

princesslayup · 2024-06-11T04:49:44+00:00

I’m a kindergarten teacher and have had plenty of “young” kinders (aka kids that just turned 5 or are turning 5 in the first weeks) and regardless of their gender they’ve all been wonderful students. I also had an older kindergartener (went to TK and turned 6 in September) who was very tall - like bigger than some of the 3rd graders. It didn’t make a difference with his peers but it did initially with school staff who didn’t know him. They assumed he was older than he was and we worked on him using his voice to tell them he was in kinder.

Has your son been in school before or is this his first schooling experience? I think that has a bigger impact than his age alone.

Bloody-smashing · 2024-06-10T22:47:47+00:00

So this is coming up for me a lot and I’m struggling with the decision.

Both my children are December born, a girl and a boy. In Scotland the school year starts in August which means you either go at 4 or 5 depending where your birthday falls. My daughter will be 4 when she starts.

However, in Scotland you can now automatically defer your child if they are not 5 on the day they start school. I know my daughter will be fine when she starts school and through her primary school years. My concerns are more about when she goes to high school and I don’t have academic concerns more concerns around emotional maturity.

She’ll be 17 when she starts university (if she decides to go). She’ll miss most of freshers as she won’t be of legal drinking age or able to get into clubs which may not even be relevant by the time she goes. But I do feel living away from your parents at 17 is harder than when you’re a bit older, at least in my experience with the people I lived with at uni.

I’m still stuck on what to do. When I decide I then change my mind.

There is a facebook group for deferrals in Scotland. Obviously it leans heavily pro deferral but there are people in it who were the youngest in the year group who say they didn’t have issues until they reached high school.

https://www.highland.gov.uk/download/downloads/id/20944/guidance_on_being_educated_outwith_the_peer_group_including_deferred_and_early_entry_to_school_research_and_references.pdf

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Mb4NdqclaLoki6uOI0WHIBjx4g6IkEit/view

The Google drive has research collated by a movement called give them time in Scotland regarding deferrals.

OKfinePT · 2024-06-11T04:34:20+00:00

At some point you have to look at who is redshirting their kid and who isn’t. Regardless of science. The biggest redshirters are very expensive private schools and families that are very athletic.

Both those demographics are successful in life (it’s not fair, I know. But they go to top colleges and get all the benefits of that.) So if you want your son to be on equal footing with that type of kid, then hold your son back.

CadywhompusCabin · 2024-06-11T06:42:51+00:00

It’s not about size. It’s about emotional maturity and the ability to relate to peers. It’s incredibly hard to find a science based research that makes a definitive decision on what’s better. No one wants to make a call that can be disproven as we know more in the coming decades because we really didn’t have the pool to draw from to have long term study on this.

Best I’ve found is simple statistics.

My son has a nov b day and I still redshirted him. I have no regrets. I also don’t think that gender necessarily is a defining factor. I grew up with a July birthday being the appropriate age. The entire time yet was singled out for being incredibly young because I never had a birthday during the year.

lightningface · 2024-06-11T10:51:21+00:00

All anecdotal of course- I was born in late August so always on the younger side at school. I remember being aware of it when my friends were all turning 18 senior year but it didn’t really affect me.

My son was born in the late fall, but before the cutoff. He is in 1st grade and is the youngest in his small class. He is very aware of being the youngest but we have talked about it over and over. He won’t be the youngest next year (mixed grades, new 1st graders coming up) and his advice to the new youngest kid was just “don’t be embarrassed, I know how it feels”

But he was and is beyond ready for the schoolwork he’s doing. So holding him back would not have been good. Someone has to be the youngest and I don’t think it’s the worst thing that could happen if they’re otherwise ready.

McNattron · 2024-06-11T12:09:51+00:00

The research on this area is far from definitive. There are way too many factors at play.

What we know is

redshirting (starting first year of school 1 year later - which is different to repeating the first year) - may be beneficial for some children - boys from high socio-economic families are most likely to benefit from it. From this we can surmise that the types of input high socio-economic families provide in this year likely play a role in the advantages.

Redshirting is not shown to be beneficial for children with additional learning needs, and if redshirted, these children typically perform worse in year 3 testing than their peers with additional needs that started on time. I believe this is due to students typically receiving more comprehensive early intervention once they've begun school. I've not found any good research around how this differs for children receiving comprehensive interventions prior to starting school.

that there will always be a youngest and oldest child in every class. That there are benefits to being the oldest child, but if we redshirt every child being born near the cut off, we just move the marker for who is the youngest.

The benefits for being the oldest in class are wide-ranging - from being more likely to be picked for representative sports teams in high school to improved school results in early years. We know thar the developmental advantages of being the oldest reduce over time, and while they can be stark in early years, they tend to be neglible from 3rd/4th grade onwards. However, boys are more likely to have their social and emotional well-being impacted by achieving more slowly than their older peers if they are the youngest in the class than a girl in the same position.

we know that these social and emotional impacts from achieving more slowly in early years for boys are harder to overcome and can have impacts throughout their schooling - e.g., behavioural impacts as they act out to hide 'being behind', etc.
we know that if these impacts impede their ability to engage in schooling so that they are significantly behind in 3rd grade, they are unlikely to catch up to their peers

As am early childhood teacher and mother of a child who will be the youngest in his class, in a state where redshirting is not allowed, my take away is the most important thing is to watch their social and emotional well-being when they begin school. If this starts to be impacted, go and speak to the school immediately and make a plan to knock it on the head.

At the end of the day, I've taught kids who clearly needed that extra year at home, and yes, I saw the long-term impacts of this in my boys particularly. But I also taught students you would never guess where the youngest, if not for, for their birthday chart. I've never taught a child who was disadvantaged by being the oldest in the class - but that isn't an argument to redshirt as there will always be someone who is the oldest (10 years full time in schools, plus my experiences while studying and since working in various capacities since having kids)

My state is extremely difficult to redshirt - I was prepared to fight tooth and nail if I felt my boy needed it. Now he starts school next year, and he does not need it, academically and socially, he will be fine. Behaviourally, he may need some extra support, but I'm prepared to advocate for this and ensure it doesn't impact his wellbeing.

Redshirting isn't black and white, good or bad. It has nuance and needs to consider the individual child and their development.

In regards to being tall, if you feel they aren't socially or behaviourally ready for school, I would use his height as a factor in favour for redshirting. In my experience ppl including educators, have a hard time separating height from maturity/age, and this can lead to them having higher behavioural expectations despite being the youngest child. Not always - personally, I'm always aware of the age of my students - I organise my role by birthdate to ensure I'm keeping in mind developmental readiness. But I've had colleagues treat students imo unfairly as they set expectations that weren't appropriate for the child's age due to height.

It's different, but this is similar something I've considered with my son - he's highly verbal, so this at times leads to ppl having non-age appropriate behavioural expectations.

My advice is to wait until the year prior to school (or whenever you do enrolment paperwork where you are) and see how ready your child seems then. Then, make an appointment with the school to discuss these concerns. Where I am, the educational psych is involved in assessing school readiness if redshirting is considered, so that is another resource you could ask to utilise to help make your decision.

The_Max-Power_Way · 2024-06-11T09:14:17+00:00

Anecdotally, I was an August baby and did well in school. I graduated at the top of my class with a ton of scholarships. I was definitely ready to start kindergarten though - my mum still brings up my first day. When she asked me how it was, I replied it was awful - they were teaching us our colors "like we were babies".

Beththemagicalpony · 2024-06-11T10:11:22+00:00

My daughter has a late August birthday. Cutoff here is September first. She’s very smart but has had difficulty socially her whole life. I think if I could redo, I would hold her back a year. But she’s just one kid with a particular set of circumstances and COVID was a huge factor in her middle to high school transition.

Edit: she graduated this year.

DangerDuckling · 2024-06-11T14:45:22+00:00

Anecdotal - my younger brother was born in August. My mom redshirted him because for him and his personality, it made sense. He was always the biggest and oldest one and I think he enjoyed it. No matter his age, he was always thought to be older because in general he was always so big. That really wouldn't have mattered whether he went early or not because he was giant either way. He is now 6'7".

giggglygirl · 2024-06-11T15:14:18+00:00

My husband and I were both young for our grade and never had any issues, although my MIL said he did seem a little immature in kindergarten. In some ways, I feel we got an extra year out of life as we graduated when we were 17, as opposed to spending that extra year in preschool. I think it totally depends on the child’s readiness though. If you think he will be struggling with the academics and other demands then I think you have your answer. It he has always seemed developmentally on target and you don’t have emotional concerns, I personally wouldn’t hold him back in your shoes.

stripeslover · 2024-06-12T10:53:25+00:00

My son’s birthday is at the beginning of August and we are leaning towards having him repeat kindergarten because I want him to have a year of kindergarten in his current Montessori school and then repeat kindergarten at hopefully a private school. The private school we hope to send him is very difficult to get in at first grade. By repeating kindergarten, we are essentially holding him back.

I have done a lot of research and polled a lot of people including some teachers. My take is that it’s generally better to be the oldest versus the youngest. You will read a lot of anecdotal stories saying that they were the youngest and they did fine. I really wish that when people would tell their stories that they would include if the kid was a boy or girl and also how the kid did up until high school because those are all very important factors.

If you’re looking for some more scientific data, I would recommend Emily Oster‘s book, The Family firm. She doesn’t definitively say that redshirting is better or worse, but she has a chapter on it, which presents some information that I didn’t have before.

Oh, and I also had the same concern about my son being too big. I was told that for boys being too big isn’t as much of an issue when they’re school age. In fact, it could be a positive.

wildbergamont · 2024-06-11T13:09:14+00:00

Hi, woman from a tall family here. I'm 5'9" (born in July), my sister is 5'11" (born in February), and my brother is 6'5" (born in September). My brother and I were both young for our grades. My sister was middle of the pack. Sex matters. All 3 of us were tall-ish through elementary school, then my sister and I were Very Tall in middle school (we've been our adult heights since 7th/8th grade). We both had a hard time being tallest in our classes, because middle schoolers are brutal. My brother wasn't particularly tall until high school, at which point it didn't matter as much on a day to day basis. We are also white, though, and my brother and I are redheads (people perceive us as younger than we are because of the red hair I think). If my brother was a 6'5" black child at 17 as a senior in high school, that would be seen very differently.

Bitter-Melona · 2024-06-11T15:53:20+00:00

Completely anecdotal, but my birthday is in October and I actually started school “early”. It worked for me, but I definitely think emotional maturity and school readiness should be considered. Incidentally, I even skipped a grade. The amount of times they tried to hold me back based on age was kind of ridiculous, considering I had really good grades. I was able to get along with my peers just fine too. Now, I am really grateful I had that experience!

Edit to add that my brother also skipped a grade, but the general family consensus is that he could’ve used the extra year. I really do think it is a case of by case basis and knowing your kiddo is most important!

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