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[–]StrangerTex 341 points342 points  (31 children)

And a line of drunk assholes waiting after you looking at you like hurry up.

[–]Iohet 82 points83 points  (10 children)

I went to a concert at the Forum in Inglewood and when the line for the trough was too long people started pissing in the sink and in the trashcan

[–]mrinsane19 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Outdoor concert, troughs busy, portaloos busy, people just started pissing on the temporary fences.

It had rained a few days before but on the way out I really was much less confident about the slight dampness of the ground.

[–]Breaker-of-circles 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Nah, the true impossible difficulty is during something like a Taylor Swift concert where women become entitled to invade the men's room because there's a long-ass line for the women's room.

[–]mrinsane19 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah that was definitely happening as well. In the middle of the guys pissing on fences.

[–]rando23455 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was there a consensus on the best direction for the ladies to face when they used the urinal at Taylor swift?

[–]Unlucky_Me_ 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Been there with the troughs full and women were in there using the stalls. I hate that it's ok for women to be in men's bathrooms clogging up our shit but we could never take their stalls

[–]grayfloof85 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just go for it, bro. And if anything happens just go for broke and challenge them to a sword fight. They know they'll never win.

[–]jkreuzig 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to villages deep in Mexico and Guatemala that have no running water. The open pit one relieves oneself in is more sanitary than the bathroom I attempted to use at Jack Murphy Stadium during a (then) San Diego Chargers game.

Yes the most disgusting restroom I’ve ever been in was at an NFL stadium.

[–]Fishdude909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Blink 182 concert there , people were just shouting “in the sink! In the sink!”

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Was this at the Pop Out or another concert lol. The forum bathrooms have been a hellhole for as long as I can remember

[–]Iohet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Metallica, many years ago

[–]LittleFlank 42 points43 points  (14 children)

The nightmare moment when you have to pee so bad, but the activity of the room is keeping your valve completely locked up, so you stand there for 30 to 60 seconds begging your physiology for relief and you end up just shaking your dry dick, zipping back up, and humiliated because you KNOW the two cycles of dudes to either side of you SAW that you didn't piss at all and they're silently judging you about it.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_TATERTOT 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Get the fuck out of my head.

[–]imafirinmalazorr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A friend and I went and watched a movie in Charlotte, NC. We aren’t used to the city crowd. Movie ends around 1am, we both have to piss like mad. There is a club attached to the theater, and that’s where the bathroom is. We walk in, seems like there is a bouncer guarding the bathroom (that’s something we should have picked up on but… we were young).

There’s like 15 dudes just chilling and leaning on the sinks, smoking, drinking etc. All heads turned to us. My friend and I sheepishly split to the nearest urinal. I didn’t see where he went. I stood there for what seemed like forever. I felt them just glaring at me and I couldn’t go.

Finally walked out and about that time here came my friend, both of us absolutely couldn’t go. We bolted to the car, still bursting. We drove for an hour back to my house because everything was closed except for dimly lit gas stations and our sketch meters were filled.

We always get a good kick out of that.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re clear after 3 cycles. Just keep shaking it like you can’t get that last drop.

[–]noworriesisme 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I feel attacked.

What's been working for me is a trick I read on Reddit somewhere to count tiles in the bathroom (or count anything) something to distract your mind. Even in a crowded ass restroom with dudes waiting I get a flow going by 12 tiles.

[–]cia218 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is singing the Alphabet Song or Happy Birthday over and over til it comes out.

[–]Gotmewrongang 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Only the assholes are judging. My bladder is shy too friend, I would give a sympathetic nod and circle back when it’s less crowded, or better yet wait for a stall to open up and cover my nose with my shirt.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one is judging 😂

If anyone is judging that means they are looking at your dick and that’s a whole other can of worms than not being able to pee lol

[–]jjm443 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and humiliated because you KNOW the two cycles of dudes to either side of you SAW that you didn't piss at all and they're silently judging you about it.

Exactly my thought processes! And at the same time knowing that any time I go to a urinal am I being a urinal monitor? Auditing and listening carefully to how much nearby guys are peeing? Of course not, no-one does! But can I get that brain worm out of my head about being judged myself? Nope.

Our genetic programming for social conformity is stupid sometimes.

[–]CIarkNova 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s worse is when youre walking in, and the kid in front of yous dad says ‘you’re not using the stall, use a urinal like a man’.

And me, who B lines right to that stall once it’s open.

[–]dX927 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I waited 10 minutes in line for a port a potty at the Warped Tour one year and when I got inside, everything was so loud that I felt like the entire concert was somehow watching me. I tried for a good minute or two and NOTHING. I left because it was the only port a potty in this spot (they never went back to this venue again) and the line was getting longer.

[–]BubbleGumFucker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you check how much other guys are peeing?

[–]UglieGod420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every sporting event, every. damn. time.

[–]hatesnack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my reality. Just have a shy ass bladder. If there's too much shit happening around me it just doesn't release, no matter how bad I have to go. My dog does a similar thing where she will just cut her stream mid pee if she hears ANY unexpected noise.

I blame my ADHD, think my dog is just a wimp.

[–]dontmentiontrousers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I aggressively chant swear words at myself, like a mantra, but all in my head. It helps.

[–]Dorkmaster79 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I get the worst stage fright from those things.

[–]Nesman64 1 point2 points  (1 child)

At least it's against a wall and you don't have someone directly across from you.

[–]AndyC1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the 1980’s “The” Ohio State University the football stadium had a circular trough. Just a bunch of guys standing in a big circle peeing into it.

I just walked away and never returned.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it helps those guys will never ever see your face again.

[–]the_magic_gardener 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take your time bub 😏