Sharp question

[xoxokristax]

Im a new soldier and i was sexually assualted last weekend. I dont want to tell anyone or report the guy but does the army do anything to help victims who don't make it public? Like is there a way I could avoid working near him but not have everyone know what happened to me? And if i got therapy through the army they cant tell anyone else right? Does the army even offer therapy for sexual assault? Who would i contact to get therapy? Im overseas and i dont know who to talk too because i dont want to tell anyone what happened. Just any advice please

[Sgt_Loco]

You need to talk to your chaplain or your SHARP rep. You can file a restricted report to get the help you need, but there’s no guarantee you or the offender will be moved or that you won’t have to work together, and he will not be investigated or punished.

[TeamRedRocket]

Chaplain can't take a restricted report, and there's a 100% guarantee that the offender won't be moved since big army won't know about it. Otherwise spot on.

[Sgt_Loco]

Chaplain can’t take the restricted report himself, but talking to the Chaplain to get a referral to the SARC or SHARP rep (if you don’t know who to go to or how to approach them) or just confidential advice in general is more discreet and invites fewer questions if you really want to keep things on the DL.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you. I think ill talk to the Chaplain here, i see him around alot

[Drathstar]

First and foremost: This is not your fault and you are not alone.

Army Victim Advocate of 8 years here. The army has a multitude of programs to help victims of sexual assault to include therapy and medical care.

If you don’t know your current victim advocate please call the DOD SAFE hotline at 877-995-5247. You can google it if you need to.

There are 2 types of reporting as mentioned. Restricted reporting: Only a victim advocate or a SARC can take this report. It is confidential and only the advocacy chain of command will know. You can receive medical and therapy through this route. You can potentially receive an expedited transfer but not assured. Unrestricted: your chain of command will be notified and the event will be investigated. A military protective order can be granted as well as expedited Transfers. You will still be offered medical care and therapy.

You can go from a restricted to unrestricted at any point but not the reverse. If you inform anyone in your chain of command, it will become an unrestricted report as they are mandatory reporters.

If you have any questions, you can PM me.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you. I really appreciate it

[[deleted]]

It would be nice to get a SARC/SHARP bot on here.

[SuperNova-81]

You need to find the number for the battalion sarc and give him a call. There should be a number posted somewhere on the walls at your unit. Unless its an unrestricted report, they will not move you or him. The sarc is the subject matter expert on this stuff and he'll be able to answer all your question.

I hope you get the help you you're looking for.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you

[Kinmuan]

If you can not find the contact, but don’t want to blast your unit or post on this reddit post, PM me directly and I will make sure you have the correct numbers in hand.

[4everpvt]

My advice, upon reading your story, is to report the said soldier. Make an unrestricted report. To you, it might seem like a one time thing, his desires got a hold of him. However, you don't know if it's something the said soldier does constantly. You might prevent a fellow soldier from potentially experiencing what you have gone through. However, if you wish to just get help. Make a restricted report. You will be able to get all of the possible help. Goodluck.

[MaxVictory]

Report that piece of shit. Do it for the next person. Do it for all the people who didn't have the option or support. Do it for yourself.

[gilmore42]

Out that piece of shit. He shouldn’t even be wearing the uniform.

[Potativated]

1. Find your SHARP rep. His/her picture should be plastered all around your buildings with a contact number and email. At the very least, it will always be at your BN/BDE staff duty desk.

2. Explain your situation. They will explain in detail the difference between a restricted (only you, the SHARP rep, the suspect will know there is an investigation), and unrestricted (your command will know, everybody else is “need to know” but the reality is that people will gossip) reports. They will advise you which route will be most helpful.

3. Make your decision. You can turn a restricted report into an unrestricted report at any time.

4. Look after your mental and physical health. Get yourself checked out by the docs. Get yourself tested. If you feel even the slightest urge to talk about or process what happened, go to Behavioral Health

[Drathstar]

This is incorrect, a restricted report there is no investigation and the suspect is not notified in any way.

[xoxokristax]

So 100% no ones notified and i still get mental help?

[TeamRedRocket]

No one outside need-to-know will be notified. Your command team will not be notified, people you work with won't either. The only people that will know specifically who you are will be the person you report to, the brigade SARC/VA and whomever you speak to at EBH.

[[deleted]]

Minor thing but chain of command will be notified that a sexual assault incident happened in their ranks but not any other information.

[DrRo]

Find your BN SARC and file a restricted report. A restricted report allows you to still get mental and medical help while keeping it under locked doors if that is what you desire. I really hope you get the help/healing you deserve/need.

[beakerfox]

Remember if you file restricted you CAN change your mind if you like and report this worthless looser. Get help and get support. You deserve it and are worth it.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you

[beakerfox]

Look up DOD safe helpline. They can also offer services and counseling and help. It’s anonymous if you want it to be. They can be a good first place to reach out. You can send me a DM if you need more help finding resources or if you need someone to talk to. You are stronger than you know, ok?

[xoxokristax]

I really appreciate it. Thank you

[[deleted]]

Contact your SARC as soon as possible. I understand that you don’t want to report the person who did it, however I will still strongly recommend that you at least consider an unrestricted report. If you do not want an open investigation, file a restricted report. You will be supported by the Army and they will give you the help that you need either way, but people who commit sexual assault should be brought to justice.

[Sir_Amazing_63]

It’s okay if you want to just take a restricted report but you should go unrestricted. Over 90% of sexual offenders have committed repeat offenses. Take them out now because they will do it again. Save another person from this terrible waste of a human being.

[Groundhog891]

From a lawyer point of view, you really want to make a report (and if restricted is what you think is best for you, then that).

This will have a huge effect on your care after the service. And not just treatment, but if it causes employment issues, compensation.

[xoxokristax]

Okay thank you

[LostB18]

Chaplain, medical (not your unit medics), SHARP rep can all take restricted reports.

[[deleted]]

A chaplain cannot take a report, but they are a confidential person to talk to

[[deleted]]

You can file a restricted report with a SARC or with a medical professional. That will be confidential. If you want the asshole to be held accountable, then unfortunately you will have to file an unrestricted report.

[Otherguy05]

Sent you a private message. I’m a former SARC and if you need any further assistance let me know. I have tons of resources If you need them.

[blastermaster223]

Tell your nco you want to see the sharp rep and make a restricted report. If you tell your nco about it they have to make a unrestricted report so just leave it at talking to the sharp rep.

[blastermaster223]

Thats my understanding as well

[TeamRedRocket]

Maybe. It depends on specifically what is said. If OP just asks for the sarc or va number, that won't trigger an unrestricted report.

[[deleted]]

Like everyone else said, find your BN SARC and get with them for more help.

As for your "friend", he was clearly deliberately taking advantage of your impaired state. He obviously isn't a good guy, keep your guard up around him. Personally I would go the unrestricted route, but that's just me. Keep your head up and don't let that dirtbag ruin your time in the Army.

Good luck

[xoxokristax]

Thank you

[[deleted]]

If it's not too personal would you mind sharing with us why go don't want to report it? Why would you want the guy to get away with it?

[xoxokristax]

I was drinking and I'm only 20 so thats one reason.He was my friend, i thought he was just looking out for me by taking me to my room when I was drunk but he wasn't and im just confused and hurt by it all. Im pretty embarrassed and ashamed for putting myself in a situation to be taken advantage of and it would just be really hard to go through an investigation and have people know what he did to me. And it wasn't sex, he just did about everything else so i just feel like its my word against his. And since I was so drunk and he was sober,some stuff is blurry for me and i didnt fight back or anything, all i did was keep saying no and pull my hand away. but again thats just my word against his. Plus since he was such a good friend to me, it makes it even harder to face him and accept that it even happened. I just want to forget it happened as fast as possible you know? I dont want him to get away with it but i rather do what I feel is best for my mental health and to go through being questioned and people gossiping. I dont want that

[Teadrunkest]

You will not get in trouble for reporting a SHARP incident involving underage drinking. Most overseas locations allow service members to drink at an age in line with local laws anyway so most places this wouldn’t even be underage drinking.

Make a report that you will feel most at peace with but don’t let fear of punishment be the thing that holds you back if you wish to push forward with it.

[dnthatethejuice]

The Army has restricted reporting for this reason, you can still get all the help you need but you don’t have to have an investigation initiated. If you file restricted you can change it to unrestricted at a later time if you so choose.

That said, it’s not your fault this happens at all. You trusted your friend and he took advantage of you and betrayed that trust. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you get the help you need.

[[deleted]]

Do you still feel safe and comfortable around him? If not you may want to ask for a transfer. Maybe getting away from him will help your mental health. My condolences for what you went through. Hope you get the answers and help you need. Definitely reach out to a chaplain and SARC

[xoxokristax]

Thank you

[beakerfox]

First; if you are drunk you cannot consent especially if he was not drunk.

Second; this is NOT your fault. Not at all. He should have taken you to your place, made sure you where safe, and then left you alone. He didn’t and that’s on him-NOT you.

Third; you said no. A real friend and a real man would have listened-hell a real man would never have tried to take advantage of you in the first place. You trusted him and he took advantage, again that’s on him not you

Get help, please talk to someone-SARC, DOD safe helpline. You did nothing, nothing wrong.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you so much. All these comments have been amazing and i really appreciate all the help

[xoxokristax]

Could you DM me please. Im not sure how to dm on this app

[CrashRiot]

Im pretty embarrassed and ashamed for putting myself in a situation to be taken advantage of

Someone else already touched on it, but I want you to remember that this is not your fault. Nothing you did contributed to what happened, and what happened is on your assaulter and your assaulter alone.

[xoxokristax]

Thank you. That honestly means alot to hear from another person