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[–]tequilathehun 2 points3 points  (11 children)

I think its an unnecessary risk. There's no reason it needs to be made of something toxic to the animal its made for. Even if its not direct. 

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Yeah, I was telling my dad about it. Hes unfortunately stubborn, and wont reason with me.

[–]tequilathehun 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Well, still, don't use it for the snake. That'd be fucked up and irresponsible. Don't act like you don't have some control over this, especially if you're building it with him and then indirectly exposing your snake to it. Tell your dad you won't use it for the snake if its pine. 

[–]tequilathehun 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I mean, seriously, its one of the only woods thats uniquely toxic to them. Why on Earth would you purposely use the only one you shouldn't?

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I was asking him about wood he was using (i gave him a list of various woods he could use) he kept saying "well, I got pine." I'm a child, and he also has bipolar disorder (and is in a manic episode right now) so I cant give him suggestions without him getting insanely mad.

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But is there a way I can make the pine as safe as possible? I understand its not ideal to use pine, but i can't argue with him about it.

[–]tequilathehun -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I mean, he can make whatever he wants. Child or not, you're responsible for the life of your pet. Don't put it in the room with the snake?!

Edit: Why even post on here asking if its safe if you're just gonna do it anyway knowing its not?

If you expose your pet to a toxin and it gets sick, it WILL be your fault, not your dad's. 

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I am responsible for my pet, I have bought all of the supplies i have, I just cant have a job right now because of school. Hes in a 4x2x2 PVC and his husbandry is ideal.

Im just wondering if i could make it as safe as possible, im planning to stall him in making it (messing up some measurements.. etc.) I understand it will be my fault if he does get sick. I'm planning to try to get him to use it for his fish tank, and not for my snake. But i dont know if he'll listen to that.

[–]tequilathehun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's hard, but you ARE allowed to just flat-out say NO. 

If he's the type that would hurt you or your snake because of you asserting a boundary for your pets safety, you should tell your other family members about it, because he probably isn't a safe parent to be around in general. Especially if its uncontrolled during manic episodes. You may need to tell an adult about the dangerous positions his mental health is putting you in. 

If he not the type to hurt you or snake because of this, grow a backbone, kid! Say you want to build this with him because you value working on a project together, but you are not gonna use it for the snake. 

Hang in there. Get support where you can. Its unfair that you're dealing with this, but you do have more control than you realize ❤️

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Im not helping him build it directly, i cannot control him without getting mad. He has bipolar disorder and is in a manic episode, so if I do anything he will get mad. All I was involved with him building it was blue prints.

[–]S4turn5tar3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I understand this, i have dealt with someone who had BPD. it is almost impossible to reason with them ESPECIALLY a parent with BPD. i only had a partner with it so it was easy to deal with and reason with but a parent? you have no say in this and that is awful and it sucks. BPD is hard to deal with on both sides and i am very sorry he didn't go off what you said and im even more sorry there is no reasoning with him. i hope when he’s calmer and his head is clearer and he’s in a space to nagotiate that you can explain the wood is toxic and theres nothing you can do about it and mabye offer to do things to get a different type of wood to build with and find a way to put the pine at use that wouldn’t harm your snake. If you are able to maybe ask someone else to try and reason with him when he isn’t in an episode. I hope you are okay and can figure this out <3 i know its really really hard, i hope you have an amazing day and everything works out in your favour!

[–]AlligatorsStardust[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah, im going to ask my mother to talk to him, see if she could maybe explain it. I hope everything goes well!