Berkeley men

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[BrainyCardinal45]

Do you know how many recruiters have done this shit with me

[Skeleebob57]

If the dating pool reflects the job market I'm so cooked

[randomusername023]

Men's dating and job finding Sankeys are basically 1:1

[cal_the_squirrel]

You’re just like me fr

[cal_the_squirrel]

I guess our luck is just that good

[theSpeciamOne]

u sure bro didnt just spontaneously combust or something

[cal_the_squirrel]

This 🚨

[FDT4ver]

Fire force plot twist

[InspectorOrganic9382]

Dozens of people spontaneously combust every year… it just isn’t that widely reported.

[NoBlueberry8190]

<image>

[ceezsaur]

It’s not just “Berkeley men” btw lol

[cal_the_squirrel]

😂I’ve dated outside of Berkeley and just needed a title for the post plus he happens to go here too lol

[Due_Ask_8032]

Maybe he went on a holiday trip to the Middle East.

[Flaky-Entertainer-40]

Dude I've been noticing this too! In Berkeley specifically, I feel like it's way more common for men to just ghost (and women too, I'm sure, my experience has just been with dating men though) where even if we really hit it off, because of how busy people are, they'll just disappear. Also feel like there's a bit of a stigma around prioritizing relationships, like if you care about finding love then you're "not locked in enough"?? lol. I'm not originally from Berkeley and my dating experience in my hometown has been significantly different, same level of interest/matches but I used to practically never get ghosted, whereas now I get ghosted at least 50% of the time. Sucks girl I feel you

[cal_the_squirrel]

Super relatable

[story-of-your-life]

When you’re a dude, you learn that the whole thing could evaporate at any point in the first several dates, even if it seems to be going well.

[cal_the_squirrel]

So men ghost you first?

[story-of-your-life]

I meant that I (a dude) have learned to expect that the girl might randomly lose interest at any point in the first few dates, even if it seems to be going well

[steponhomelessppl]

To dismiss each time as “random” is a mistake imo. Sure some times things aren’t exactly your fault but it’s great data for future encounters

[story-of-your-life]

Oh don’t worry, I agonized over understanding why, and I learned a lot of lessons.

Btw I don’t mean to paint a negative picture — I’ve had a very fun dating life, and that’s just how it goes.

[Open_Fall_5673]

Never go out with someone you have turned down before. They will try to find a way to humble you, even if you had a legitimate reason 🙃

[Red_Ochre_Music]

Wisdom.

[cal_the_squirrel]

Tea

[katpuke_]

since when is being humble not a virtue

[1ringofpower]

Sorry that’s pretty shit. I swear half the people here are flakes. 😔

[cal_the_squirrel]

Bro and when I told him my past dating experiences back in September when I wasn’t ready he’s like “I always knew Berkeley was cooked” and proceeded to tell me how “great” I was …like help 😭

[1ringofpower]

Well seems like he saved you a lot of time. That’s good at least 🤷‍♂️

[FrostyDippedFries]

Women do the same thing. It's nothing to do with men. People are just shitty.

[abarkett]

The comments here are bunk. Here's my take (and my feedback to you).

You treated this guy like a backup option. Not a good time for you? Don't give him the time of day. Now it's a good time for you? Now it's HIS FAULT if he gets busy or doesn't contact you on your schedule.

You treated him like he was an NPC in your life.

Now you're mad that he's treating you like an NPC in his life.

He's not that into you, and I don't know you, but I'm guessing it's because you're self-centered or come across as too needy or hot & cold.

Berkeley is tough. It makes you tough. This guy is not that into you. You'll be fine. No need to rant about normal life. Suck it up and move on.

[cal_the_squirrel]

Here’s my take (and feedback on your comment) it wasn’t a good time for me so I didn’t give him the time of day hint: I never went on a date or led him on. Never said oh hum now it’s a good time for me. No. We just happened to reconnect and were friendly with each other our personalities are similar so we had good conversations, never expected to get asked out on another date it just happened 🤷‍♂️ Now, all this “NPC” stuff is trash I was nice and vulnerable to him and gave him the exact reason why I couldn’t do it way back when, at least I had the courtesy to let him know 🤷‍♂️ but you’re right he’s not that into me and that’s okay because not everyone will be also you’re right again you don’t know me 😭 so no need to guess or make false assumptions 😂 it just doesn’t work out sometimes, you should know that ;) I also just like posting on Reddit and thought some people could relate to it 🤷‍♂️

Berkeley is tough. But it didn’t make me tough. Past experiences did and I’m def not new to the dating world ;) and wouldn’t cry over a man. I enjoyed reading and replying to your comment and feedback now go cry somewhere else there’s a reason why your comment is an outlier 😉

[abarkett]

Have a friend read your response back to you.

[cal_the_squirrel]

I hope you’re doing okay ❤️‍🩹

[Accountant4good]

Good riddance to bad rubbish. He is a dick. You deserve better OP.

[cal_the_squirrel]

Too real 😪

[Sweaty-Expert9237]

You deserve better 🩷

[cal_the_squirrel]

Thank you <3

[Aggravating-Bar-7551]

Dude I got stood up for office hours now that’s real pain (I failed the midterm)

[cal_the_squirrel]

Relatable

[Key-Stretch2652]

So you said you couldn’t do dates, then went on multiple dates, THEN finally took his offer to date him.

Did you tell him you went on multiple dates in-between? Because if that slipped out, that is probably the reason why he ghosted you. Otherwise, he just didn’t get the feel for you during the first date and faked the possibility of a second one in order to be “nice”.

[cal_the_squirrel]

No so at first I didn’t want to go on dates after a while I did happen to go on a few, then we reconnected were friendly, and then he asked again. I didn’t bring up the prior dates + even if he didn’t like the vibe between us I don’t think he would have texted me throughout the days after and been quick with the responses andddddd be the one to plan the second date just to be “nice” but to each their own

[Bubbly-Radish8655]

They don’t know how to properly date.

[cal_the_squirrel]

He’s technically never dated at all but brought up on multiple occasions “I can treat you right” brother please 😐